I asked ChatGPT to call the cutie store and no one knew you lol. But then I went to the cutie store myself and everyone knew you. What ChatGPT actually did was call the same Qdoba location 15 times and make outrageous threats against the employees that fell just short of actionability

"things that scare me" by neko case is an absolute banger if you accidentally start the record at 45 rpm

when mom makes you go with her to the grocery store

immediately punished for raiding my kid’s candy stash with the starburst snake eyes

they’re calling it the clearest graphic of all time

Absolutely deadly behavior causing another crash on Spruce Street at 5th st early this morning. This is on the busiest bike lane in Philly with over 1,500 riders who use it daily. We deserve so much better than paint and flexposts, we deserve real protection.

1st apple pie in a while went well except for the side you mysteriously can’t see in this photo

guy was trying to tell me he had a colicky baby but he said instead “baby’s got gout”

the child is trying to summon an entity. not sure what kind

there are cherubim everywhere for those with eyes to see them

they should invent an apple peeler that doesn’t attack and kill you

you fucked around and now the Episcopalians are doing memes. are you happy now. are you

When your wife walks in on you at 1:39 a.m. halfway through demolishing a box of Nilla Wafers and after she tells you she bought them specifically to make banana pudding for a housewarming party the next day

Rest in power, Miss Major. www.advocate.com/news/miss-ma...

making sure father in laws basement is still up to code. thankfully it’s all good, the electrical bowl is functioning properly

lyra met a horse named Hoover today but she’s calling him Mister Hooves

as above so below

decided this was the year i was gonna earnestly and without hesitation root for the phillies. also some other stuff has happened

hot ones but it's a bunch of different kinds of oatmeal

phillies in 5?

What are you making for dinner?

(guitar intro from leaving song pt ii)

umm ah ummmmmm haha hey

my enthusiasm for the phillies is never greater than when i receive the grungo law email

lol

concerning

the NY public library selected SIMPLICITY as one of its top 10 graphic novels of the year :)

hey it's bandcamp friday. check this shit out candynecklacephl.bandcamp.com/album/no-lif...

that is a queens of the stone age fan

father-in-law just dropped by the house to reverently but with slight distaste present me with half a bottle of CBD oil that he found at his house. been expired for 3 years "i don't know anything about this stuff" yes i 100% believe you sir

here in PA we have an UNLIMITED FUCKING MONEY CHEAT FOR ROADS THAT AREN'T EVEN CONGESTED and we're still starving SEPTA and if i said what i really thought about this i'd be arrested

the sound this camera makes when it shatters is the most perfect glass breaking noise i've ever heard. delightful

Hegseth's grasp at macho militarism, including pretty explicitly calling for soldiers to commit war crimes, reminded me of Barbara Ehrenreich's reaction to Abu Ghraib: "It is not enough to be equal to men when the men are acting like beasts."

I need to interview the woman who won an MK tournament while holding her newborn

This is tonight! Hop on the 34 trolley to West Philly and see us play!

Really sorry to hear about the sudden passing of Kaleb Horton, a fantastic writer. Only seems fitting to share what he wrote for David Lynch kalebhorton.ghost.io/death-is-jus...

that thing where gun guys can’t stop putting more attachments on their guns but it’s me trying to put more accessories on my monitor

horse calling the kettle black

God bless whoever put up this pro-upzoning poster in Edgewater, please put up more

seriously why are there 20 versions of factor meals for dogs now and all of them have commercials with songs that sound kind of like Keane

what are you talking about no

i promise i don't work for septa but they gave me free tickets to the 76ers this year, so either the odds on these are pretty good or i'm the luckiest. (it's the latter)

amazing seeing @ekkoastral.bsky.social opening for pup and jeff rosenstock in phila tonight! catch the tour if you can, the whole show rocked, ska was briefly played at one point even

almost bailed on the @ekkoastral.bsky.social show because my friend did and it’s raining but luckily i came to my senses. they should invent a fillmore that’s easier to get to for me personally

I wrote about Caroline and two recent movies, "My Old Ass" and "The Life of Chuck," that reminded me of her determination to do the most with the time she had

ump in the phillies game named James Jean. James Jean James Jean James Jean

some of the noises they feature on mlbtv "baseball zen" commercials are absolutely intolerable. no one wants to hear stiff brush bristles against dirty home plate. this is not zen. others, like "spray bottle leaking from up close", are just very confusing

making a cake, normal kind

i love that transit has everyone represent themselves with emoji but sometimes it’s not great