The reason Mamdani gets whatever he wants from Trump is simply that it is really easy to flatter and manipulate old men Some of you were not raised by a father from the Silent Generation and it shows

So I went to the neurologist today and it turns out my brain *isn't* hooked up right after all

Every time I read a story about Kash Patel, the thought that goes through my mind is "J. Edgar Hoover would never" Which is false—Hoover absolutely would be doing everything Patel is doing and more If I had access to a tax-payer funded fuck jet, I would too

This is my whole career actually :

Look, @vintageobscura.net is one of the reasons the Internet exists. Good, weird music curation and not a single ad See also Soma FM, which has been delighting my ears for decades

Did someone mention a blizzard? #blizzard #winter #snowstuff

Y'all, DJT isn't gonna bomb Iran until he gets his period so who has the presidential menstrual calendar? It's probably gold-plated and owned by Russia

I forgot that every LLM's logo was a butthole

Apparently this phrase is the only thing I know how to cross stitch

Ooh, super fun waking up and having the mother of all existential panic attacks Thanks for the spiral, brain

I own a car, I own property, I have no debt, and I've more or less retired When *exactly* am I supposed to start feeling like an adult?

I can't remember what language it is, but there is a phrase that more or less means "don't come with another man's dick" and that's how I feel about sportsing You didn't do anything but watch that dude blow his load, don't take credit for it

It'd be so nice to hear about food without mentioning the looming shame of *gasp* calories. Food is fuel, food makes us go. Consuming calories is not shameful in any way. Body mass is resistance against starvation & fascism But yeah, shame your team for eating food. That's good for morale

Post a banger that isn't in English youtu.be/wKQOZrRUc3k?...

I am a hermit of many talents

TO: World’s Biggest Pedophile FROM: Elon Musk SUBJECT: RE: Pedophile party on your pedophile island Any other famous pedophiles going to be there? Looking forward to doing a bunch of pedophile stuff btw.

I'm doing my part

I've been off TikTok for five days and my nervous system already feels better Turns out, having endless amounts of people screaming at you through your phone every day about the same shit you've already heard a million times over is, like, real bad for you Yesterday I told the trees I love them

Still can't believe the latest Epstein Files release just casually confirmed the anti-SJW movement was planned by pedophiles. "The entire reactionary anti-woke backlash was masterminded by child traffickers" is the kinda shit I'd say as hyperbolic agitprop, but it was true the whole time.

My smartwatch thinks my ukulele practice is running so shh, I totally ran 1.77km today, don't narc me out

Tell me you're a white guy without telling me you're a white guy

"Where's the 2A crowd to protect us?" THEY FUCKING JOINED ICE

The only thing scarier than being alone in the woods is not being alone in the woods

RIP TikTok, you did your best

I have been so depressed by the state of the world and just blahhhhh for weeks Turns out I just needed a fire raging in the woodstove (And also about four shots of liquor…) (Okay, five) (Maybe six) (Alcoholism!)

It's kinda amazing the depth and breadth of the positive reaction to the Carney Davos speech. I get it - Canadians like when int'l people laud us. But Carney said similar things during the election campaign and we've seen how he's governed since. I'm almost stupefied by how naive everyone is being.

oh no I ate too many meatballs but also there are still so many meatballs left to eat #poetry #literature #nonaiart

I don't get folks finding Mark Carney's speech at Davos inspiring because I heard a neo-lib say "Canada is absolutely for sale—just not to the USA" Also, the bit about removing the signs from the windows… how loud does the pro-capitalist, anti-worker alarm gotta sound for ya? #cdnpoli #canada

Oh 2 a.m., I just can't quit you

Finally read a book this year Maybe I'll read another, you don't know my life

The US government is a terrorist organization and we have to stop pretending it is anything else

So where do we forage for memes these days? I feel like I used to find free-range memes everywhere but now I am having a non-easy time spotting them in the wild #meme #memes #memecheckpoint #adoptdontshop

My only regret is Anthony Joshua didn't smack that mf harder because how is Jake Paul doing podcast appearances with his jaw broken in two places? I was hoping he'd be wired shut for months

Interfacing with Babylon on Christmas Eve Eve is rough. So many people. So much xmas music. So much traffic But hey, I don't have to leave my house again till at least Boxing Day Speaking of boxing… 🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪 <--- Jake Paul's face

Omg I love this guy 🥰

Okay, so we agree that the end goal is to turn people into robot drones, yeah? Because I don't see any other point to this

Omg HAPPY KISSINGER IS STILL DEAD DAY!!! 🥳😎😈💩👻

Hello Internet, I would like to purchase a copy of Harry Nilsson's 1971 album Nilsson Schmilsson. Vinyl or CD, I'll pay $15 or trade you a vinyl copy of Misfits by the Kinks and/or a Stan Rogers live album Also looking for Weird Al albums #buyandsell #trading #LPs #vinyl #epsteindidntkillhimself

It shouldn't cost money to live It shouldn't cost money to live It shouldn't cost money to live It shouldn't cost money to live It shouldn't cost money to live

If this week has not been enough to collapse the Empire completely, it's never falling. Things are gonna get more depraved than you could ever imagine. Winter isn't coming. Winter is here. I knew shit wasn't gonna look the same by December but even I couldn't have predicted this

Found another stack of books to donate, including Gravity's Rainbow. I read the first chapter and it is insufferable and I don't know why it's considered a paragon of literature because it just sounds like all the pretentious shit my college poet-boyfriend used to write me

Happy Dick Cheney is Dead Day! Please also remember to celebrate Henry Kissinger is Still Dead Day on November 29

I spent my weekend watching MCU movies but I think I have almost reached the end of what I will be able to watch because so many of the men involved in the franchise are creeps

America is not real, pass it on

Just gave up trying to read Don DeLillo's Underworld on page 120 because the way it's written is giving me a headache and I think it's time for me to admit that I just don't get literature See also: Infinite Jest

Daylight Savings Time is my ultimate nemesis so I refused to live by it this year and that was a pretty satisfying life decision You can live however you want, I promise. Nothing is stopping you. Throw away your clocks, throw away your mirrors, run into the forest, become feral, howl at the moon

Half the Internet went down and I didn't even notice, which confirms to me that moving to the forest was the best decision I've ever made Y'all can have Babylon

Okay, you know how to protest. Now do that all day every day. No more working. No more spending. No more watching and wringing your hands while folks get disappeared and worse. Stop what you are doing. Stop it. Stop. #generalstrike #workstoppage #nokings

I have no idea what's going on

Just a reminder that six million Canadians live rurally. That's 15 percent of the population that relies solely on Canada Post for mail and parcel delivery #cupw #postalstrike #solidarity