Today I nearly approached a family with a little girl who was making harsh shrieks to ask if she was practicing to become the next Gilbert Gottfried, but right before I would have it dawned on me that she probably had "special needs" & my joke might be taken in exactly the wrong way, so I did not.

...go on...

I kept remembering & then forgetting this idea for a #mashup until this morning I finally plugged it into #ravedj. I'll be gobsmacked if no one's ever mixed these up for real. We need a mashup search engine! #TheVelvetUnderground & Nico x #ThePixies = "Here Comes Your Mirror" rave.dj/qHVJJ0hSFUziKw

It's not unusual in crappy weather for our internet to go out: hell, it doesn't even need to be crappy. What IS unusual is for it to STAY out after I reboot the router, which I've now done at least four times. Either it's finally fried, or there's something else wrong, perhaps on a structural level.

1,000 days of Israel’s genocide against Palestinians. 1,000 days of genocidal complicity. 1,000 days of escalating BDS pressure. Boycott, divest and sanction. Until Israel’s genocide ends. Until Palestine is free.

I'm eating my dinner in a staff-only area, and several tables over are a couple of older women. After trash-talking actresses who've had extensive cosmetic surgery, one EXPLICITLY details a reaction causing her eye to swell & ooze, requiring antibiotics. This is while I finish my tonkatsu ramen.

The die was cast: I could delay no longer. With a few bashes from my bat I finally excised the mummified remains of a bird caught in the fire escape outside my bedroom window, all so I could install my A/C. I am renowned for my resistance to higher temps, but sweat is not charming regardless.

Somewhat ironically, just as I finally reached a point where I'm ~90% unpacked from my last move 5½ years ago I must begin considering another. Thus I'm eyeballing my assorted collections, trying to divine if I care enough to relocate & devote space to them. Some hitherto sacred cows may get the ax.

The smoke alarm in my bedroom began shrieking around 4:40 am for no readily-apparent reason: I couldn't smell any smoke. Of course, it IS quite hot, so maybe that's the confusion? There's another in the kitchen & outside of the front door: I'll panic only if those start going off, too.

Physical media was our best hope for getting people to even see the damn thing.

I'm trying to decide whether I should go to a concert a couple friends are headlining tonight. I'm feeling moderately anti-social & like I have too many other concerns to "waste" time, money & energy on acts I've seen many times before, but I also recognize that's exactly the cope I usually employ.

I had truly intended to return to the gym this morning, but I've had a raw feeling in the back of my throat since yesterday evening, so I'll give that a chance to subside before I chance it. Not like I'll palpably become a bigger load of crap than I've already devolved into in 24 hours.

palate cleanser

There's good reason to be cynical as we mark the 250th b'day of this mistake. But fuck it: I'm a show pony. This evening I'm debuting my #America250 #Freedom250 week tee wardrobe for the #sesquebicentennial. Since it's least close to the 4th we'll call this "mountaintop militia lieutenant."

I got home by 6:30 pm Sun eve and, because I was exhausted, went straight to bed, wondering if I would wake before the sun set. I did not. I slept a full 8 hours. On the upside, I saved energy & money by only turning on lights at 3 am for my housemate's return home around dawn.

Celebrating #Pride2026 #Pride #LGBTQIAPride in THE hottest club around

Before anything otherwise monopolizes collective att'n: Every so often the longevity of the most twisted souls is offset by someone of wisdom, humor & integrity getting to ride along for a solid century. And other days Mel Brooks turns 100. Congrats, Mr. Krupinsky: you're 5% there.

Throw some money in if you can. I did. We're all we have. gofund.me/4df4cf2cd

I've been posted at the entrance to the Raphael show for its second-to-last day open, advising visitors to keep moving. An old man approaches: "They must've chose you to be here because of your great voice!" -No, *I* chose to be here because of my great voice!

hear me out GRITTY/MAMDAMI 2028 ("gnuuuu, mamdani wasn't born in the statement muricas of unity") schmendrick, gritty is a krofft body puppet, get a grip

My seniors & betters: does anyone remember a specific joke that would've been to the effect of "Mary Lou Cretin" around 1984, or were we still respectful enough as a society to not mock a champion? Feels like it ought've been a Garbage Pail Kid or a MAD Magazine punchline at least.

I tried another #mashup on #ravedj that didn't quite gel, but luckily I had another idea on deck that jolly did the trick. rave.dj/T0A-m38PZvLgEQ #DeadKennedys x #WhenInRome = "Kill The Promise"

Y'all, do me a mitzvah & look at this listing. The first thing you might notice is that it's hideous: that's a given. But what... why so many recliners? And the blackout shades? For what exactly was this most recently used? Who was the tenant? newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/apa/d/ne...

omens never come more cheerfully presented than this that's some Paul Verhoven shit right here #freedom250 #America250

This bodes well for one's sanity: an unintended stereoscopic installation of 2 toys from the same mold that, when activated, impels one to utter: O N E S E E S and, indeed, how moving one's display units would allow a shelf dedicated to View-Master exactly where one is looking. change the person

Is someone helping them? Like do they need money? Like can the @aclu.org help???

Right fool's giving me pains, so I call my podiatrist's ofc. I'm immediately on hold w/shrill Mario Paint-style pachelbel. When a receptionist answers, she seems young & distracted. Suddenly there's crackle & I hear nothing else. When I call back I'm more to the point, but she still can't be arsed.

Our Raphael show is good for something: it brings long-absent friends outta the woodwork. First visit in years from @kevincolden.bsky.social, @misslaskogross.bsky.social, @cheeseho12.bsky.social & their respective sons, both of whom now tower over their parents (& me). Hope I make it to SPX in Sept!

I only realized once I left this morning that I should've worn my "Protect Black Art" tee & Black Panther socks for #Juneteenth, but I did wear my Rage Against The Machine tee, which is not entirely inappropriate to the occasion. But leave us not suck our own dicks: slavery still exists in America.

Have any types of hat become so ubiquitous as the baseball cap since it became so? I know it's the concept of a hat boiled down to its most basic components (covers head, obstructs sun), but surely it can't be the last word in headgear. Then again, culture itself seems to have similarly stalled.

It probably shouldn't surprise me that the night (well, morning) before I return to work for two 12-hour days I would wake up after only ~4 hours of sleep, ostensibly in need of a crap, but then unable to go back to sleep for the 2 hours left before my alarm. Perhaps a wank will sort me out.

I return to work tomorrow after >2 weeks off. While I did accomplish a few things I'd hoped to, I nevertheless feel I wasted the bulk of my time. I have another week off coming in a month, so this is hardly my only chance, but I am increasingly aware of age & my mortality creeping in at the edges.

I want you all to know that the people upstairs from me are definitely fucking alert the media

I got a confirmation for a Fb group pertaining to a countercultural affiliation that I must have requested literal plural years ago. Pretty much the 2nd post I saw was anti-vaxxer wordbarf in genAI comic "art." I immediately left the group. Ain't nobody got time for that world-ending shit in 2026.

I last set foot in a gym >22 mos ago, and boy, does my waistline look it. So when I initially was awake around 6 am I thought: Y'know, if I got over there at ~9, there'd probably be least # of other ppl today. But I hadn't slept well, and I fell back asleep for a few hours. Now I'm just lazy.

Yourself, but as a cartoon.

Sad to hear that Oliver Tree has died at just 32. I thought he had a great persona and I was really curious to see what he would do with it over a long career: it had already morphed several times. In a world of Little Dickies, be an Oliver Tree. youtu.be/8F2s8ivKXNY

For a #ThriftRampage I set an alarm for 6 am, my normal time to rise on a workday, even tho it isn't one, but my vacation brain (or lack thereof) wouldn't abide it, so I went back to sleep for 2½ hrs. While I long since missed out on being 1st to any yard sales, I never wanted to be that guy anyway.

Google Maps used to be able to create multi-stop itineraries, but now cannot conceptualize such a thing. I clicked "Ask Maps" and, surprise surprise, the AI instructed me to use a menu that does not seem to exist. I even saved all stops in one bookmark, but it appears it can't string them together.

Huh, just came across someone on my dating app calling themselves "Levantine." ...that's Israeli, isn't it "Nooo, it could be so many other countries in that region!" Countries that have no reason not to identify as those in NYC. This one says they're "not performative (do better, America!)" 🤔

Jane Yolen touched every area of my creative life: my love of books, my approach to teaching, my artwork that tells a story, and my belief that life is beautiful. Thank you, Jane, for all the beauty, insight, and joy you brought to us through your amazing and endearing stories.

An ad for diapers uses "Born To Be Wild," an oddly Boomer choice to target 20- & 30-something parents, but the VO says, "Babies don't ever stop." My brain mutated this so that it's actually sung to the tune of Black Sabbath's "Paranoid": 🎼Babies, they don't ever stop Stop, you babies Babies, stop🎶

I'm genuinely curious, and I'm not trying to start a fight: on dating sites/apps, does anyone succeed who only puts up memes or pics that, even if they're of themselves, are so cropped, blurred, &/or devoid of context that they might as well be abstract? I really wonder if that strategy bears fruit.

Knicks: Roses are red Violets are blue Omae wa mou Shindeiru

The greatest comeback in NYC since Big Bird won that throw down with Osiris in the 1983 Children's Television Workshop special Don't Eat The Pictures: Sesame Street at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. #iykyk

Congratulations to everyone who is happy tonight. Condolences to everyone who is sad. You may think I'm speaking about something specific, and if either applies to you, then yes, yes I am. But I am also speaking to everyone about all things. It's not that I don't care so much as I care too much.

MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE was a lot of fun and definitely hit a sweet spot esthetically: Idris Elba absolutely crushed his role. But its smirky writing from the Joss Whedon school of too precious for its own good cribbed its story beats from HOOK; its msg re: what makes a man felt muddled & insincere.

I'd felt good re: some cleaning & rearranging I did around the studio Tues, but awoke to a msg from my landlady (or, more likely, her son), who still can't get my name right nor sell the house (w/o investing in it, which they won't), that they "want to speak to [me]." Nothing they'd put in print.

You might argue that in my sport agnosticism I miss out on the community spirit energized by our local franchise's shot at the brass ring, but I'm also spared the fury & frustration of the underdog taking what I'm told was an uneven matchup due to our home-grown pariah's jinx infecting everything.

[learns from the latest Sam & Colby video that Pennhurst Asylum may be demolished to be replaced an AI data center] ISP sysop: Oh hey, you're offline for a change. me: internet's haunted sysop: What? me: *loading a pistol & firing up modem again* internet's haunted