Seriously, this is fireable.

On repeat!

This is real, by the way.

It's against my religion to celebrate homophobes. And Dodgers.

Thank goodness they're local

This is the sweet spot: The moment my timeline becomes flooded with GWAR references, but I still don't know why.

Soviet computer prototype, SPHINX. Designed by Dmitry Azrikan. 1987.

Inside you there are two wolves.

Roses are red I miss John Belushi Meet me tonight For some

we’ve got amused and bemused. I would like to see the trend continue. Cemused. Demused. Emused, which is the word for when a flightless bird does something entertaining.

Imagine advertising this food in this room.

Ever notice how you “park” in a “driveway,” but memories of you will be the only thing left after you are gone?

Fritzi Ritz By Ernie Bushmiller z October 27,1938

I don't know how this happened, exactly, but I'm pretty damn sure I'm suddenly pregnant with Leo Rivas' baby.

I now understand why Mariners fans post every evening like they are dying of kidney stones

Does anyone have actual footage of Dan Wilson getting bonked on the head? It must have been a very bad bonking.

New footage of the Jalen Carter / Dak Prescott confrontation just dropped

What a shocking headline.

As whom, though? As whom?

We promise, Andrew is safe.

ME!

Only 230 days until pitchers and catchers report (for the next "Vedder Cup".)

I would prefer this to be a some-hitter.

This was a fun one! A weird one, yes, but a fun one nonetheless. Vieves and I talk about commercials with daddy issues: soundcloud.com/aftertheseme...

In 1995, my friends recorded an 8-song album that I thought was pretty great. I just helped them digitize it for Bandcamp, and I got to say: I think it holds up! 45rpmcle.bandcamp.com/album/45-rpm

One thing nobody ever tells you about the Seattle Mariners is that they can be frustrating to watch.

I made a mixtape thingy: open.spotify.com/playlist/5pg...

Perhaps the best call of an opposing HR ever. LOL.

The dynamic between Jay Buhner, Angie Mentink, and Aaron Goldsmith is one of the strangest things I've ever heard, and I've heard that Crispen Glover album.

Yes. It's the called the Mountain Dew radio jingle, and it's perfect.

Life During Kowar Time.

Make love, not Kowar.

I miss this.

According to my Google AI Overview, the Mariners are never going to lose another game. And they're all going to live forever.

EUGENIO SUAREZ AND I ARE BOTH HEADED TO SEATTLE RIGHT NOW

I'm trying to think of a Ben Williamson promotion for T-mobile Park and all I can come up with is "I've Ben Around The World And I I I Can't Find My Baby" Night. But I feel like we can do better.

Has there ever been a paper towel dispenser with a cuter name?

This was bound to happen when nobody spoke up against "man caves" and "she sheds".

The B-52's - Planet Claire (1979) youtu.be/uaXtqSmUlxA?...

Please please leave this pitcher in long enough so we can all enjoy a Beeter - Mastrobuoni matchup.

I feel you should know that Gorman Thomas had an absurd number of baseball cards in which he was photographed staring contemplatively into the middle distance. 🧵

Any joke can be a dad joke if it’s disappointed in me enough

Putting sports rivalries aside, I can't help but to feel bad for Aaron Judge after his own teammate threw a ball at his face between innings. It's a good reminder that safety is -- I'm sorry, I can't do this.

I'm glad everyone is okay, but this is going to have a huge impact on the supply of limericks for weeks if not months.

"He took a monster rip at a slurve." Is Gary Hill Jr. talking about: A) Weed B) Baseball C) His favorite romantasy novel