A whole ass holiday to celebrate “family”? The thing that keeps getting people killed in Fast & Furious?

TFW the neighbors down the hall take a special interest in your pregnancy and your husband’s acting career:

Dating advice: reconsider referring to your cum as “my harvest”

(Darude - Sandstorm) (Darude - Sandstorm) (Darude - Sandstorm) (Darude - Sandstorm)

Confirmed: it’s green

Kawaii! @lilevanyx.bsky.social

The band Ghost (outfits) is to the band Ghost (Japan) as the movie Crash (Oscar) is to the movie Crash (pervs).

Kira Noir (2024). Photo by Gustavo Turner. @thekiranoir.bsky.social

May i meet you? (suggestive)

Hahahahahahaha

Remember that while you’re reading this, Nathan Fielder is either anonymously flying a plane somewhere, or putting in the 10,000 hours for another special interest, or in production for a 2027 premium streaming show.

New Jersey: Today we celebrate the poet laureate of our state, The Boss Every Bruce Springsteen song: “This town blows asssssss, I can’t wait to get the fuck outta heeeeeeere, am I right Big Man?” (honking sax solo)

Nat (2025) Photo by @gustavoturner.bsky.social

Shouldn’t it be Van Dutch?

I hate LA Halloween what do you mean you’re the atrocious Yelp reviews of the cantankerous Record Collector dude on Melrose

Hot MILFs in my area? In this economy?

The Full Story (2017)

Weapons, aka The Aunting

I wanna go on record saying I’m fully in favor of AI. Really don’t understand all these busybodies having any issues with anal intercourse.

Least expected sentence from the actual Wikipedia entry for “Christmas”:

Labubu Gone Wild (2025) Photo by @gustavoturner.bsky.social Model: @jasminesherni.com

I spend a year plotting a mystery novel and then this happens.

“Actually, Frankenhooker is the doctor. That’s Frankenhooker’s date…”

That disco song about the fuckboi astronaut (I Will Survive)

Kitty Cam Time (2024) 📷 Gustavo Turner @kittycamtime.bsky.social

This is kinda wild

2025 SWers: what 19th-century SW name would you pick (and not lose any subs)?

Ok — squirt is not pee. But is it brat?

Luxury apartment is an oxymoron.

According to Grok, “Gustavo Turner's content typically explores themes of kindness, urban life, and artistry," which seemed a pleasant summary.” Awwww

In the 1980s and 1990s, I thought I liked Woody Allen movies, but one day I realized what I liked was Mia Farrow and Diane Keaton, old jazz and the cinematography of Gordon Willis. Absent one or more of those things, I really don’t care for Woody Allen movies.

Bella Blu last night. @bellablu.bsky.social

Nepo Baby? How about ‘Mom n Pop Artist’

Not enough lyricists rhyme “rum” with “cum.”

For any journalist wants to write an interesting story about the intersection of online sex work and scammers: There’s an INSANE amount of impersonation accounts that try to scam our fans out of money, and TikTok and IG make it nearly impossible for us to report and remove these accounts.