oh yeah i also will try to post more on instagram and threads (username: avalentineoutofseason) if anyone wants to follow me there

existing etudes are too hard for me and existing preparatory studies are too boring, so i guess now i'm putting some together for myself for whenever the piano is tuned again (idea stolen from Marc-André Hamelin / Paganini etudes var. 7, the only one i could ever be able to play lol)

we should not be peaceful in the face of a genocide. israel should be stopped militarily. it should be dismantled by force, and there should be war crimes tribunals. i couldn't care less about being "peaceful."

apparently people are normally able to focus their mind and lock into tiresome drudgery and mindless labor at like 8am, instead of not feeling awake enough to do so until about 10pm when the impending need for sleep forces them to do it

kinda sick of this always happening, when are we going to get some biblical plagues that *aren’t* zionist

unfortunately i also know trans ppl whose families went from passively nonaccepting but putting up with them (or e.g. not trying to insist others use their birth name etc) to outright cutting them off or becoming abusive, mostly since november 2024. also have met a lot of newly anti-trans people

so when are we going to start burning down the data centers

am i wrong in thinking that the way every company is now putting holds on your card and no one’s bank is processing deposits on time sort of indicates a total loss of confidence by the bankers in the governments that maintain the international monetary system

or we could just make those accommodations available to everyone, and ensure they’re part of how society works by default. that seems both simpler and more ethical

everyone keeps saying the fascist momentum has stalled but i don’t know where people are seeing that. they never seem to lose

i rly need something to do with my time to avoid falling further into the void

i wonder about this every time i try to learn a language that uses a script other than latin, greek or cyrillic. it always seems like the first step is memorizing the alphabet, but then you get situations like chinese where you have to memorize radicals and can’t sound characters out, etc.

haven't had the desire to do anything creative in a while but when i was talking to a family friend about revising symphonies she was like "don't forget us chamber music players! you haven't even finished a single string quartet". i've started a lot of them tho. so i started a new(?) one

what if trump is just taking time off for facial masculinisation surgery

this is accurate, i haven't seen most of my aquarius friends for 12 months as of september so that's when i'll be reaching out to them to plan a social event of some sort

you’d think any AI capable of generating images would also incorporate the basic level of OCR you’d get in, e.g., adobe acrobat, but no i guess that was too much effort

it’s so funny to be a new yorker with a crippling, life-ruining fear of cockroaches

i haven't been keeping up w new releases at all but: new Index of Metals just dropped apparently. samples sound good

again, we don't have actual police. we have varieties of rogue paramilitary/criminal gangs

ok yes i am definitely an AI trapped in a human body

i’m sorry to everyone who follows me. i’ve reached a level of depression or hopelessness and lack of interest in anything where i’ve basically become evil and stupid. i need to leave social media but that’s not easy

we’ve been living in 2002 for like four years so why not i guess. just this time the christian nationalists have advance knowledge of how to crush all the progressive movements that might arise organically

i rly don’t care enough about true promise 3. it’s like 20 people dead or something?? there’s another 7 million still alive plus 8 or 9 million committed zionists in the rest of the world, killing single or double digit numbers of them is a meaningless spectacle

i feel like i’m not really alive anymore

i completely failed to go out and get my adhd meds today. instead i finished movement 5/7 of my romantic style copy and made an initial draft of the fugato in the middle of movement 7/7. this is maybe the dumbest project i've ever undertaken

in my mahler 7 era

God another pandemic would really hit the spot right now

these things flourish when there is a wealthy ruling class willing to ensure those who practice science, art, medicine, etc have food and shelter. we had that throughout most of history, but it no longer exists. the only counterculture and politics that are possible are a politics of self-removal

i'm not suicidal but there is a certain appeal to being able to choose my own death just so i can die while listening to this www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9Kq...

for those not on twitter anymore (good decision btw) you may have missed that the current right wing insult of choice is telling ppl—men or women—some variety of “you sound like a rape victim”, “you were molested”, etc. male culture is basically defined by hatred of the weak and vulnerable

Okay Luigi absolutely didn't do it and this is a pin job

there's something about this piece i seem to need right now www.youtube.com/watch?v=j7X0...

At first glance I thought this was a transition before-and-after

wolfgang amadeus mozart, 1786:

i think i’ve become almost completely disconnected from reality

i don’t rly understand people who are capable of love or sex but that’s mostly just bc i struggle to see anything positive in life, so attachment to someone is just a sword of damocles of future heartbreak

have said it elsewhere but if living in the world doesn’t make you want to k*ll y**rs*lf every single day you are probably a sociopath. the only actual reason to live is to fuck other people over; there’s nothing else this world has to offer

the selection of landmarks apple maps chooses to show me for any given location is quite interesting

w my trip to new zealand i have managed to start the process of making this bedroom feel like my home. this is a bit under half of them i think, unless there are more mixed in with the boxes of scores than i anticipate

i wonder what the post-trans, post-autistic, etc, world will look like. like all these things proliferated as a response to material conditions, we can’t get the 1950s back, so once the genocides are completed society will have a giant hole in it where we used to be

visiting this site is such a depressing experience but then so is walking down queen street

the idea that jews are an “ethnoreligion” is an invention of modern zionism, emerging in the 19th century alongside the new antisemitism in europe by claiming jews had become weak and degenerate due to separation from their “middle eastern roots” and jewish nationalism would fix the problem

creating an extremely non-urtext edition

i guess what new zealand feels like is like what twitter feels like: almost all my friends or things i cared about are gone even though the structure remains, it’s hard to see a reason to care, and it’s impossible to see a future

This feels like a useful thing to read in the era of "sending people with tattoos to a torture camp in el salvador to die" From “Drug Cartels Do Not Exist: Narcotrafficking in US and Mexican Culture" by Oswaldo Zavala

unfortunately the american electorate wants the fascist police state and there doesn’t seem to be a way to peacefully persuade them to accept immigrants as equal citizens. the “moderate position” was always untenable; you either put a stalin in power or the people end up electing a hitler

if there’s one thing im picking up from being in NZ it’s that life here has become basically impossible—every workplace gets “restructured” or goes out of business every 3 to 5 years, costs of living keep rising even as house prices decline, everyone’s friends/family have moved to australia or china