Apple fitness needs to add “Plumbing, High Frustration, 3-5 curses per minute” as an exercise activity. Took about 3h, and I’m completely exhausted.

I rarely dream, but last night, the orange ass was somehow walking in front of me and he just fell face first…bam…on the ground. Just a suited blob lying motionless. And everyone around just sort of nodded. No screams. No panic. Then he was rag doll folded into a shopping cart and taken away.

“But that’s really boring!” No shit! Welcome to vulnerability management

I’m keynoting KCD Texas tomorrow! If you want to come join me in Austin, use code HONK for 50% off the ticket price. See you there!

Looking forward to attending Le Tour Du Hack on Saturday in Edinburgh. I'll be doing at talk about Kubernetes post-exploitation at 13:40 alongside many other great talks. speak.enusec.org/le-tour-du-h...

Anyone else thought to themselves “It would be easier and faster to hack them to cancel my account and delete my data” than to try to do it all by phone? No? Just me?

Sweet (astronaut) dreams everyone. May your mission be successful and you remember every second of it

Just strained a thumb muscle opening a jar of salsa. AMA

You’ll know when huge “yes” bets happen on Kalshi 30m before the announcement

Alex Ovechkin scores 927th career goal, hits 30 goals in a season for NHL-record 20th time russianmachineneverbreaks.com/2026/03/31/a...

the human body was not designed to know what the worst person in the world is doing every fifteen minutes

I love that @nathenharvey.bsky.social is making sure we all have enough fucks to give

I just used 40% of my phone battery shopping online for a toaster. AMA

Powerful statement earlier today from @lookitup.baby in support of a pause in evictions for Minneapolis families in this time of crisis. www.youtube.com/live/vpRmCJE...

Impeach, remove, prosecute. And don’t skip any steps or stop short.

Of course it’s now completely ruined. I had a few hours there.

I’ve had some terrible news today. I don’t need anything, but I’d like for anyone reading this to take two bits of advice. If there’s something you want to do, and think you can, try to do it. And tell people you love that you love them, frequently and honestly. You won’t regret either thing

So NJ lawmakers wrote a bill to rein in ICE. And this is what they called it. www.nytimes.com/2026/02/21/n...

Gaudreau’s kids brought into the team pic…who’s cutting onions…holy moly

I love Olympic Hockey

I’m a Hughes fan of Hughes

A touchdown???!? Whoa

Watching Slope style with my partner. First run: what on earth are they talking about? Fifth run: oh, that butter corked 1440 Japan style was so smooth Yeah, he’ll be stoked about that

Billion dollar idea: smoke detectors that chirp with low battery during the day

Ian is a super kind and trustworthy person. If you would like to help some families in Minnesota directly, you could make a donation through them.

Virginia did NOT start this, but we are going to finish it. We must to TURN OUT AND VOTE YES for our Redistricting Amendment on Tuesday, April 21. #virginia #vote #redistricting

Cheers and tears for the unexpected Catherine O'Hara tribute at the Westminster Dog Show in NYC. A Doberman Pinscher named Penny, from 🇨🇦 no less!, won Best In Show #CatherineOHara #WestmnsterDogShow #BestInShow www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/cathe...

Absolute legend.

Movie review from Guardian on Melania.

Few things match the feeling of finding and then responding in the chat with the perfect gif

Video message from Federal Reserve Chair Jerome H. Powell: www.youtube.com/watch?v=KckG... www.federalreserve.gov/newsevents/s...

LFG!!! … Ah, who am I kidding?

The full spiked 60 Minutes CECOT package, clean & subtitled. 1/5

Proud of my JMU Dukes.

Really hope they catch the person responsible for calling in a b*mb threat at my boys’ high school. The threat to their mental safety, the anxiety of not being able to pick them up as a parent, this massive waste of first responder resources, and the cold weather all amount to me fucking fuming…

Jamie Anderson said, “Grief…is…all the love you want to give, but cannot…Grief is just love with no place to go.” I feel a profound sense of loss of our dying democracy. What we had for all those years vs what we have lost since…I mourn that deeply. DT wouldn’t _ever_ read that book.

Prediction/luke warm take: The recent OpenAI RAM hoarding deal will cause a massive cascade of industry wide supply shortages of memory/components necessary for delivering supporting services of said AI infra which accelerates the AI bubble pop that would negatively affect OpenAI perhaps the most.

Slack, Instagram, and now Netflix have taken the top 3 spots for the worst offenders of having an app icon notification for bogus reasons that doesn’t easily go away…

Crossing my fingers that their cars don’t get DSQ’d…

My kids rolled their eyes…

Me, using slack: Right click, remind me tomorrow at 9am … *Tomorrow at 9am* … Right click, remind me tomorrow at 9am

Important question for software developers: what do you wish you knew more about in regard to creating more secure software? If you could suddenly know something, like Neo in the matrix, what would it be? I will see if I can help.

This hits really close to home.

OMG. The truth…it burns…

Re: these emails

The average SNAP benefit per month is $177 a person. The average ACA benefit per month is up to $550 a person. People want us to hold the line for a reason. This is not a matter of appealing to a base. It’s about people’s lives. And working people want leaders whose word means something to them.

wtf just happened on the commanders broadcast?

This was 12 metric tons of spinach before cooking

Watch them avoid conceding to try to draw it out…