Weather machine broke. Sorry about intense southerly buster.

Wearing Sunscreen is important so that your skin stays vibrant and youthful for your lovers' enjoyment! Just remember to slip, slop, slap! Slip on a shirt Slop on some sunscreen Slap on a hat!

Crowd control is vitally important, but ultimately the responsibility of the event organisers. Our advice? Look out for one another, keep an eye on your drinks, have some naloxone (narcan) handy, use sunscreen, and stay hydrated!

friendly reminder to refrain from using electrical appliances in wet areas to prevent risk of electrocution… there are much safer ways to do electroplay

Because of @futchlightning.gunmetolymp.us’s propensity to yeet out babies at escape velocity, the #EODM’s remit extends to non-terrestrial hazards too! You wouldn’t want some space debris falling on your house, now would you?

🫡🏳️‍⚧️

We like you Beth! Fostering community and combatting loneliness is a vital element of maintaining social cohesion. That’s why the #EODM wants to invite you to our weekly community football game and sausage sizzle, where we pit our shift teams against each other! Love, Your friends at the #EODM

Disaster management needs to be considerate of the needs of all Elysians. This is why all of our evacuation centres are certified lactation friendly spaces.

YOU CAN'T SPELL LOVE WITHOUT LESBIANS. OR OVULATION. OR VOLTRON. OR ESTROGEN.

The draft incident report is now over 1,500 words...

I just realised that we’re getting very close to 100 followers… If we break 100, I have authorisation to release the full un-redacted report on the EODM’s most recent Level 3 incident (read: Gunmetal Olympus fanfic).

Just because your relationship is a disaster doesn’t mean we’re going to manage it for you

This morning I introduced the #EODM’s first ever community noticeboard… for no reason whatsoever

wearing proper protective equipment is sexy

Adequate eye protection is important. That is why the #EODM recommends that all girls wear glasses. For safety, definitely.

Our fandom is deranged.

GOOD MORNING OLYMPUS. AND TO THE MANY READERS AND FOLLOWERS OF TRANSFEMININE ART. INFINITE BLESSINGS TO YOU.

Here ya go! thank you 100 followers, I hope you enjoy.

This would be very popular with our staff on long night shifts when nothing is happening

i’m really eepy and need someone to manage this emergency 🥺

My king, does this proclamation constitute an official change to the EODM uniform requirements?

During a disaster response, having the right equipment is incredibly important. That’s why we need our Machinery Operations Officer, or MOO!

That doesn’t sound very conducive to public safety…

The Hades Crisisus ⛈️

This is why having adequate safety signage is important. Work health and safety is not necessarily #EODM’s remit, but our HR team tells me that good signage helps prevent workplace hazards like this.

There are shadow gods now?? We don't have enough liaison officers for this...

At #EODM, we take your safety when revelling seriously. That’s why our operations centres remain fully staffed, even during bacchanalia. To celebrate, though, we keep an emergency stockpile of catgirl maid outfits for our on duty staff to wear during a bacchanal.

#EODM research has show that big sisters that join the EODM prefer to take on more dangerous frontline roles as first responders (flood swiftwater rescuers are quite popular), whilst little sisters prefer safer coordination roles at our ops centres. Big sisters risk so much for us. Cherish them.

In our Emergency Operations Centre, we have plenty of big screens for all the gods to look and point at, because looking and pointing at a map on a screen is a cornerstone of effective disaster response

this sounds like the perfect thing to watch on my lunch break 👩‍🍳

Elysium Office of Disaster Management

This is a service i am always happy to provide! On top of #EODM supplied resources it's advised that each family have a few weeks of non-perishable goods in storage! If you need to increase your supply you may contact any of my gardens and my daughters will be happy to assist you.

The #EODM works closely with @plantmommy.gunmetolymp.us to ensure that Elysium’s emergency supplies are not only filling and nutritious, but yummy too

Chat what if the #EODM decided to test a new communications strategy?

this is a poem about the lord of the machine dead using adequate PPE when undertaking hazardous activities

The #EODM would like to officially apologise for the recent windy weather in Elysium. We had a delegation of @desire.gunmetolymp.us’s acolytes visit out HQ and some staff might have been a little overzealous with the tour, accidentally breaking the weather machine…

The hole in the Wall Caryatid is a restricted zone, and not to be confused with a hole in the wall cafe, which would be a cute spot for someone to take me on a coffee date to

We have many amazing employees here at #TeamEODM, but we think you’ll be especially excited to meet our social media intern, Neomea! Feel free to ask her anything about working at EODM, or about herself! She'll be replying to all your questions!

We have many amazing employees here at #TeamEODM, but we think you’ll be especially excited to meet our social media intern, Neomea! Feel free to ask her anything about working at EODM, or about herself! She'll be replying to all your questions!

Disaster response is not limited to natural hazards like fires and floods. Cyberattacks, security incidents, disease outbreaks, and more can have consequences like supply chain disruption and social unrest. This is why #EODM liaises with all the gods, to ensure that you are safe no matter what.

The #EODM recommends everyone switch to dark mode for their own safety.

Plants and trees are actually super important in reducing the severity of heatwaves! The urban heat island effect disproportionately targets vulnerable communities. Planting more trees reduces the absorption of heat into concrete and asphalt ground surfaces, reducing the ambient temperature! #EODM

Just because Poseidon has dominion over the waves doesn’t mean Elysium’s coasts are free from tsunami risk. Volcanoes, underwater landslides, and meteorite strikes can all be tsunamigenic! If you see the tides retreat, run for high ground!! #EODM

Even though Food and Hygiene is outside our remit, it is the official position of the #EODM that this looks hazardous as fuck.

actually, literally true, and I'm so glad the EODM* is acknowledging that! *our readers

Bollards play an vital role in ensuring pubic safety. Not only do they provide a clear separation between pedestrian areas and roadways, they're also a critical defence against vehicular-based attacks. They're also perfect for holding your coffee whilst you need to rummage in your bag! #EODM

Did you know that Ice Rinks are actually very important facilities for disaster responses? In Mass Casualty Events, when regular facilities are overwhelmed, Ice Rinks can be converted to adhoc morgues! This allows casualties to be stored safely before transportation to the Acolytes of Hades. #EODM

PSA: for any major event, please make sure you have an emergency action plan. Crowd management and control are also incredibly important, we don’t want the citizens of Elysium to end up in a crowd crush in the chance to witness their god’s mechas. #EODM

Taking our hardworking #TeamEODM out for ice cream sounds like a nice reward for their hard work and dedication to keeping the citizens of Elysium safe!

And we thank you for your noble services.