Hey Grindr don’t forget to cancel his Unlimited subscription

rip to a statesman 🫡

Tick tock Donny

WE POPPIN BOTTLES BURN IN HELL YOU PIECE OF SHIT

I JUST WANNA BE PART OF YOUR SYMPHONYYYYYYY

Gummy popped feet up cats purring husband gaming 😌

💙

MEN SWEAR BY IT: Nothing impresses women like the Man Cylinder. 🍆

New York or nowhere? My brother you’re currently in New Jersey 🤣🤣🤣🤣😆😆😆

No more “tax incentives” for corporations

If he wasn’t brain dead they would already have shown us he’s not brain dead

Adding Meg Stalter to my close friends just in case

Always funny discovering a step bloomf has blocked me lmao

I’ve had a few martinis 😈

Stop adding fees to my bills. Just increase your price.

Well this bums me the fuck out

It is fun realizing like “oh they’re from a past moment in my life and I don’t need to try to carry them forward with me”

CEO Reveals How He Used AI To Build One-Person Company That's $1.3 Billion In Debt

Gm

Kinda wanna steam the folds out of my brain

It is so important to have friends you send unhinged voice memos to

Lmao

It’s REALLY nice when your boss has your back

Mitch actually owes it to me to die today so I can order a very expensive bottle of champagne at dinner

Protect the Dolls and the Serve and the They

My employer is very fucking lucky to have me

20 minutes was also about the max I could stand talking at my grandmother to say goodbye when she had gone nonverbal right before her death so I get it, senators

the ongoing defense of Platner tells me that plenty of men on the left hate women more than they love their supposed principles

If someone disconnected the tendons in my neck for a little while I think it would feel so good

Give me pet photos plz

My boss told me that she’s very impressed with how well I project calm despite endless reasons for panicking and that’s on high dose SSRIs

If I’m ever a C-suite executive (nothing in my career trajectory suggests this will ever happen) I’m bringing my cats to work

I’ll work on the sunny days if others are willing to work on the rainy days so I can nap and bury myself in pillows

Three people are playing audio on Bluetooth speakers simultaneously on the subway

As the great Countess Luanne said, money can’t buy you class

Others’ incompetence will be the death of me

Very concerned about some of y’all’s skin cancer risk

Lmao ended up getting to work at 7:30 so yes I will be leaving at 3:30

Holy shit Norway

Super judging celebs who do prediction market ads, just like those who do sports betting ads, just like those who did crypto…

Died died died… lesbian….

Drinking a 12oz Red Bull before going to this bbq because I’m just a sleepy little person

Kinda feel like reclaiming patriotism ngl

I’m so locked in on this game omg

I really hate having to advise faculty to not talk about marginalized populations in their grant proposals

Lmao Philly is starting fireworks at midnight tomorrow. I hate it here.

LOVE to meet older fags

It’s saurrrr easy to not post ai slop and yet here we are

So is Mitch dead? Or what?