Good evening

Semiglutide Estitties

Butts! If you can believe it!

Some of y’all fake bitches #realmayoheadsknow

Nonbinary boy wife Kacey musgraves be like god help me be a good nonbinary boy wife

Just bought the most incredible birthday gift for my bestie

Can you tell which one of us just woke up and which one of us kept drinking

Your parents got upgraded

Pregamed my flight ama

Not this child doing TikTok dances in the airport lounge

Old men love to scroll instagram reels on an iPad

We’re finding out who the real angels are 🙂‍↕️

Asking a random mouth in the dark room “What are we?”

Dreamed I took up smoking cigarettes

I keep saying “where are the cats?” but they’re already at my parents’ for the weekend 😭

Maybe Charli is making rock music after all

Saw your post

Bumper sticker idea for a Tacoma or Ford Maverick: “Small truck, big dick”

All that money he’s stolen and still couldn’t afford hair plugs smh

The lighting on my lunch break was great but boy do I look exhausted

Keep your internalized Puritanism to yourself, bitch

AI is gonna cure all diseases, huh? 🔬👨‍🔬🧪🧬🧫Why don’t we start with the WOKE MIND VIRUS 🤣🤣🤣😂😂🤣🤣🤣

Once again I prove myself to be the best offspring

In college my nickname was Big Steve and my dad still signs all of his emails to me DOBS (Dad of Big Steve) and I think that’s sweet

Got some gay guy hoops

My name Is Bella Hadid

I really want a giant warm chocolate chip cookie

Getting home juuuuust in time for these massive storms to hit maybe god does love the gays

BRING BACK WHIMSY

Secured the bag

Mmkay so I’m thinking 1000x

Fate fell short this time your smile fades in the summer

Dreamed I was talking about harry styles’ hair plugs with my mother

Good morning and a very get fucked to the establishment dems in Philly

Hallelujah

Can I borrow your short king for a sec?

I have a problem

Need to get my parents hearing aids because Jesus fuck I turned on their tv and felt like I got hit by a flash bang

If you’re not getting laid in the physical world that’s not gonna change in the singularity sry

Hoping and praying to the sweet baby Jesus we get a thunderstorm tonight

Uncut jaaaaahhhhms

LOVE aging

Listening to Renaissance

Queer folks in Philly: anyone have a personal trainer they love?

I love this time of year because I get to play “humidity or pollen?”

Replying “based” to teams messages

A reminder that just because someone has a doctorate doesn’t mean they’re smart! Or even literate! But not me. I’m smart and very well-read.

Got a 100% on my infectious disease outbreak course midterm just fyi

Working in higher ed is so silly because what do you mean I only have to work today and Thursday because of graduation and the start of summer Fridays?