born to watch the new season of d20 forced to watch video lectures and take quizzes

and what if i switched to android for my next phone

whatever happened to those clowns everyone found in fields and shit back in 2016

hey so like does anyone wanna do anything about the mad man in charge now that he’s not gonna launch the nukes tonight?

if the nukes start flying i will be texting the two jill stein voters i know “fuck you”

maxed out the stereo in the car screaming along to “you gotta be” by des’ree

i don’t wanna wear a smartwatch anymore

having a full-sugar coke idgaf

hmmm my head feels like it’s stuck in a vice that keeps getting tighter. any idea what might be triggering this?

today sure feels like one of the all time ‘so i still just gotta go and do my little job during all this?!’ moments

Real Estate: Guess You Should’ve Made Your Coffee At Home

when will my appetite return from war

start up sequence

why is every speed camera set with a 10 mph tolerance? if you’re saying 10 over is okay then just raise the speed limit and enforce it or enforce the posted limit with like a 1-3mph tolerance for variation in measurement tools.

it’s so crazy my whole right arm is tattooed rn

happy easter

anyone who makes a bluesky client where i don’t see a notification in the app and then see the same one several seconds later as a push notification has my vote for president

oh i could absolutely go for a crisp vlasic dill spear right now

4.5-5 hours under the needle and i’m spenttttt

see yall in a few hours

athena woke me up this morning by jumping on the bed, screaming in my face, and running away

amoxicillin you are that girl

tattoo sleeve gets started tomorrowwwwwww

i love how hot my friends are

worst night of sleep in recent memory but i think my fever broke so we’ll take it

the girls keeping me company while i recover

well i’ve come down with something so i’m going home at noon and apparently spending my easter break sleeping

it’s my friday and i will drag my decrepit corporeal form across the finish line

Kristi Noem's husband while she was out back shooting their dog

do that one word thing for me but you can’t say tall

i love that one of the dodge challenger trims advertises its horsepower as some big impressive thing and my Volvo has 105 more horses

is this not dennis quaid?

back sweat season starting in march is a hate crime

Bears repeating

i only hope the absolute worst for those justices

omg not this on trans visibility day

“you’re tall”’s sister

someone on the grid is wearing nasty pig should i see if they have heard the discourse

need philly sports to get the fuck outta the khia asylum

flexed and it looked decent again

gonna start body checking students who walk in groups and refuse to move over for me a single individual walking

two 3-day weeks in a row for me 😌

i want a muffuletta

jayne mansfield and marilyn monroe together they never looked so happy!

some people are annoying. some people are very annoying.

my work computer logged me out of everything over the weekend why

i’m stoned and watching cars (2006) and part of me wants to do a “that one friend who’s too woke” and find out how many tumblr posts worth of cancellations i can come up with. for example, cows are portrayed as tractors with subhuman intelligence. that’s what slave owners thought too

time to blaze the sunday scaries away