The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With Sydney Sweeney https://theonion.com/the-onions-exclusive-interview-with-sydney-sweeney/

And if I watch K-Pop Demon Hunters for the third time in a month what then?

I hate our mayor so fucking much

Kelly Clarkson continues to be one of the few things America really got right

Put in new Invisalign trays

Getting to check two people off of my champagne list in a month would be wild but great

Man, the Q people must be going insane rn

Hi it’s me you’re all in danger

So sorry that I sent you the same meme twice. I just saw it and thought of you twice

Whore dervs

SUCK A DICK, DUMB SHITS

Okay but like… do we now round prices up or down to the nearest 5 cents?

Started a rewatch of BoJack Horseman because it’s depression autumn

Important to understand the Epstein stuff and the fascism and the corruption are, in a lot of ways, really all the same story from different angles: powerful men who can and do abuse vulnerable people around them because they can, and because systems of elite accountability catastrophically failed

Waiting for my husband to get home from work

How do I audition to be one of those people making out shirtless in the background while Rose Gray screams in the foreground?

Imagine if dems at every single level weren’t such spineless cowards. The other side are absolute monsters and they’re willing to let people suffer and we shouldn’t provide cover for them by capitulating

I need a nap so badly

How do I tell YouTube that, despite my interest in video games and other nerd shit, I am not interested in the far right male pipeline?

The worst part of mass transit is the masses. Wdym for a second day in a row someone has smoked so much in the subway car that the air is hazy

Thank. God. We have new Robyn incoming

Space is so cool

If of interest! (Lemme know if you add me so I can add you back)

Welcome to Derry reminds me that most children are terrible

On 11/11/11 at 11:11 I wished I would marry my now husband so… do with that what you will

Coat

Waking up to news that our trolleys are on diversion “until further notice” 🙃🙃🙃🙃

Don’t mind me, just thinkin about bionicles

I am on record as an enjoyer of the cold. However, I would like to enjoy it from the comfort of my couch and cozy blankets, not my office

Imma be so mad if we go to OT

YAWN

Let’s see how the birds do after a week off

I’m gonna wear a long wool coat tomorrow 😊

Haha fuck it’s only Monday

Fall in love again and again Fall in love again and again Fall in love again and again Fall in love again and again Fall in love again and again Fall in love again and again Fall in love again and again Fall in love again and again

As a nonbinary pansexual, I understand how difficult it is to make decisions

Suck my clit Kim Davis

seems to me that those democrats inclined not to fight perceive themselves as living through a somewhat ordinary cycle of presidential overreach and backlash and not something much more significant and dangerous

Begging for someone decent to primary Fetterman

I would contact my senators but one is a republican and the other just caucuses with them

Sunday scaries ain’t got nothing on me

I believe it’s so important to respond to your children when they talk to you so they feel validated and heard

Now I just have to hang the stuff

Oooooo Pluribus is freaky

Gummies popped, gimme about 30 minutes and then AMA/tell me nice things

Made it to Friday but I’m stuck in an all-day seminar

Gonna be honest, I didn’t realize that was JLaw talking to Bowen and Matt announcing the miss piggie movie

There is no reason why someone as kind and handsome as I am should have to know who Ross Douthat is.

*shaves off body hair* “You can rest, Stephen. Your nonbinary tea is valid again”