Emailed a tattoo artist about my sleeve 🤭

Hi hello good morning. Nothing gets my superiority complex going like being the first one awake on the group vacation.

PSA: I am married. With a husband. Consider this my annual disclosure for when I’m flirting with you.

I’m quite intoxicated ama

Seeing turbo tax commercials complaining about how complicate it is to file taxes LIKE THIS PROBLEM ISNT ENTIRELY YOUR FAULT FUCK YOU INTUIT

The fight between Elle Driver and Beatrix Kiddo in the trailer is such a mother-off

It always gives me a chuckle that the greatest crime a het person can commit is to cheat

Unfortunately I’ve come to the conclusion that faggots should not run multinational corporations (see: Cook, Altman)

There’s a difference between weird (complementary) and weird (creepy/derogatory)

Look at my girls as kittens

I miss my cats

Just fyi I’m hot and you should kiss me

Overwhelmed and anxious! On Vacation

Having Vampire Survivors on my phone is suuuuuch a problem

Seeing Chicago

Watched the sunrise this morning and it was very pretty

TIL what twizzles are

Speed skating is so cool

I hardly know her!

Discovered you can tap and hold on your profile picture on the bottom nav bar to quickly switch accounts just fyi

High key recommend throwing your sweatshirt in the dryer for a few minutes and putting it back on

Veryyyy much looking forward to not traveling at all in March and just settling into my new job and new routine

Start date for the new job confirmed 🤭

Commercial: “what says love more than a diamond?” @classicsftw.bsky.social: “actual love and affection” Me: “two diamonds”

It must be said I love a gay meteorologist

It’s how I earn my keep

I just really want everyone to be happy and healthy and I’ll vote for everyone who makes that happen

Sad I won’t get to see BGB face

😌

I need to shave my face I can feel my nonbinary tea becoming less valid

Awww not a shutout oh well

Mr Beast jump scare

Wow two blowout super bowls in a row makes you think

!!!!!!!!

I mean I guess they needed to wait until the second half to air the good commercials but that’s FINE

Do you know what these tight ends are so relaxed about? Getting fingered up their ass

Crazy no touchdowns and no patriots points

Bad Bunny really said this is for Puerto Rico and the GAYS

Mike Tyson welcome to the champagne list

FUCK YOU ELON

SLAYYYTER halftime show when

I have had some cocktails

Super Bowl LX Begins With Moment Of Silence For Failed Bay Area Startups

Unfortunately I am tearing up a bit because I want this country to be so much better and having a lesbian sing the shit out of this song is just… hitting hard

Lisa Rinna was so fierce

Brandi Carlisle and Charlie Puth looking like lesbian besties

We’re all faggots in the eyes of the state so everybody shut up and just be queer how you want to be

I’m 220 lbs now btw

Since they’re getting mentioned so much today, if I could come back as animal in would probably be an owl. Or a blue whale.