Yall want to share this revelation I found in therapy? I was asking all the questions we ask when we are in the thick of grief; “when will I stop sobbing every day?” “Who will I be when this is in the past?” “Will I ever be open to trust and love again after this?” And bless her heart, …

A sign from nature to PERSIST.

Watching Barbie again and it’s touching even more feelings this watch through

Feels so good to be freshly vaccinated. Now I can bite as many people as I want without worry

Awfully poetic for my t shot sticker to tear in this heartbreaking way on this most heartbreaking week of all weeks. I don’t need MORE reasons to cry

I love that company colors match Astros colors! How cute 🧡 💙

AND the writing style is so natural. It’s all like “yeah everybody knows about The Company, so we’re just gonna move past that and I’m salivating for more!

There is so much implied lore in Murderbot diaries!!!! I want to study it!!! Or make it up

If I adopted Shep today there is a good chance I would have named him Murderbot or one of Murderbots aliases

I’m gonna shave my legs into a gradient

Oh boy, about 4-5 roads are diverging and I gotta pick one to travel. Least I pick all of them and just over commit like crazy

My dogs need SOOOO MUCH attention! I can’t! I’m deficit in that!!!!

“Starting today, adults are no longer permitted to be unique or to deviate from a narrow set of cultural norms while in the presence of a minor,” Gov. Greg Abbott said theonion.com/texas-b...

The Righteous Gemstones are Wa-McElroy Brothers, a la Waluigi and Wario. In this essay I will-

I just give front desk energy. Especially now that they moved me front and center

New Law Requires Texans To Show ID To Buy Phallic Foods

Sometimes I have just an unreasonable amount of pee in my bladder. Like comedy skit length bathroom breaks

With the power vested in me- as a merited silver fox hunter- the line shall stand at the point where the number of grey hairs is uncountable! 👨🏻‍⚖️💥

The puppy in my heart was thrilled to get to rip open and pull the stuffing out of a toy for work this morning 🐶 🦢 🪡 The rest of me was fine with stuffing it back and closing it up

astronauts definitely fuck when they go up there right

By my count- 2 Grey hairs in my mustache!! So now, in addition to questioning weather I count as a cub/bear, I get to wonder where the line is for Silver Fox 😎

Are they republican as in “conservative”? Or republican as in “regressive”?

Maybe I just need to read all instructions for work like they were written by the TaskMaster

you’re fired. wait you’re rehired. email us a list of things you’ve done today wait forget it you’re fired again. come back your job was important. you’re fired. or hired. come in to the office. wait the office has no computers go home. we are the department of government efficiency.

I have cute coworkers! One got measured for a spacesuit today and she said “they measured everything but my nose” 🥰

It’s very comforting to have a job where I know my current task is in vain but when I brought it up, my boss said to proceed and fix it later. So I guess I’ll get paid twice!

While recovering from another procedure, I decided to pick up an old passion.

This is Meech. He maintains that one pup cup is not enough. He needs a pup bucket, or perhaps a pup kiddie pool. 14/10

This is Fabio. He loves to wave hello to everyone on his walks. 12/10

Now that Joann’s is liquidating, I need Robert to tie me up like a warewolf until late May 🐺 🪡 🌕

Spot the difference

i get that my dog has to shed but why is he so good at it

Ya know I think we have the technology to take a dog to the moon and bring em back this time

A seam ripper is a kind of beast. If you aren’t paying attention it will bite and sting you 🩸

I love making my dogs do drugs! 😈 This one -> • makes their heart feel like there’s no worms in it And this one -> * makes their whole body inhospitable to fleas!

Everything should be fine now 🙃

I hate that you can just get hit with “*TRAUMA* and now you gotta go to work” 🤬🤬🤬

I’m so glad that I’m a trusted person and I know about internet scams but goddamn this is not how I want either of our workdays to go 😖😥

Crazy how in the year of their lord 2025 I have to wonder if the churches around me are worshiping false idols 🍵

“Are you observing Presidents’ Day?” ….No. I don’t think I will

Left work yesterday and had a heavy stack of projects in my inbox. Honestly had to smile, cause it could be fucking paperwork 😊

“Can you rework this? Someone else did it but I can tell it’s not gonnna pass inspection, and I know you’ll do it right” 🥳🥰🥰💫🥰👽🥰🎉🥰🥰💫🥰🥰🎉🥰👽🥰🥰🎉🥰💫🥰🥰🥰🎉🥰👽🎉🥰

This thought was prompted by a visit to Murphy’s bar, where they messed up my cocktail

Chehkov’s Bar- cozy whiskey bar with a library of books which all feature a gun being shot. NO GUNS AS WALL DECOR!!!