@datianlei.bsky.social “Hold on, Uncle Michael! I brought these for you, but I dropped them on the floor so I gotta wash them first!”

They’re having their own private banquet with their cousins and lots of meat!

Sit. Breathe. Even Heaven waits.

They’re crying. Why did the scary lady say she’s going to get their Yeye, their Baba, Uncle Michael, and Uncle Slothy?!

𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐚𝐧

🍑: I should get to hold Grand Uncle’s new baby first because she’s a princess like me! And I can teach her all the stuff I learned from Uncle Slothy!

@longwangzi.bsky.social Two little heads peek at him from around a corner.

“Grownups actually do stupid stuff too…” Disappointed Taohua face.

@yanluowang.bsky.social “Uncle Yan, you should beat up your brother.” 😒

Poor Uncle Michael. It’s just too sad 😔

// Taohua was a really big shipper of YuLei 🤣😂

@yuhuangdi.bsky.social “You stupid head emperor! How could you make Uncle Michael forget you! You’re the worst! When I get big, I’m going to fight you!”

They dive on @torpidchaos.bsky.social “Happy birthday, Uncle Slothy!”

She is absolutely stunned. As smart as she is, she’s still only a little girl who can’t understand this. She shakes her head furiously. “Stupid Emperor! Why did he do that to Uncle Michael?! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid head Emperor!”

“Good! Uncle Michael can’t remember the emperor!” Meihua says happily. But Taohua pokes her in the forehead and says a line she undoubtedly learned from Yichen. “Did you fall and smack your little head on the pavement? The Emperor loves Uncle Michael, and Uncle Michael loves him! If

“Let’s kick him!” Meihua starts to run, but her sister grabs her. “Uncle Yan! You shouldn’t tell her to do that!” Taohua actually scolds him. “He’s gonna be our uncle too! We shouldn’t kick our uncles!”

Taohua goes to @yuhuangdi.bsky.social and holds out her hand to him, wanting him to take it.

“That’s good news! We should have a party!” Taohua says. “We should lock him in the closet and tell Uncle Michael we haven’t seen him,” Meihua grumbles.

The girls giggle and sing, “You liiike him! You want to kiss him!”

We want to go to see Uncle Yan, but we gotta stay with all these babies, and Er won’t even let us eat the ducks!

I’m gonna write a book about Uncle Yan and Grand Uncle, but this time, I won’t make stuff up!

Shows this to @reapinglotus.bsky.social and @torpidchaos.bsky.social “I’m gonna be rich!”

Book of Belphegor By Taohua Mysterious and intelligent Belphegor has been mysterious and intelligent for over a decade! He eats children, but didn’t eat Taohua and Meihua because they’re not really children. Just very small adults. Belphegor also eats rocks and turtles.

They both nod enthusiastically and they each reach for one of her hands.

She nods and sits next to him. Then she sticks a talisman on him. “There! It’s for protection!”

They learn from Xiaolian and also start stealing from his pockets and his jewelry.

“Mm,” she smiles up at him. “Cause you’re a human having a demon baby so you need to be strong.”

They kick him a bunch of times and run to her. NOW they decide to cry. “Xiaolian Jiejie, he broke our dolls!”

They’re currently beating up the son of a random lord in Hell for pulling the head off of one of their dolls.

“Muqin,” she runs to hug his leg. “I was worried, so I made special tea for you!”

“SiSi already knows lots of things because I read Uncle Slothy’s books to her,” Taohua says proudly to anyone who will listen.

This is going to backfire big time, Michael. For now, she’s a happy little girl, hugging her uncle’s neck. She has no idea that her traitorous sister has joined the team of trying to get the emperor and Uncle Michael together.

“I met an uncle who looks like a scary Uncle Slothy!”

“I won’t listen! Uncle Michael only needs me to be his baby! So don’t be sad,” she reaches up to pat his head.

“Wait a minute!” Taohua stops and holds up her hands. “A-Mei! I already said we can’t kill Uncle Michael’s boyfriend! If he dies, then Uncle Michael fails at his job and Heaven will punish him!” She pokes her sister’s forehead and then turns to the sword spirit. “Instead, you can be the

// turning Michael’s wedding into everyone’s business 🤣

@yuhuangdi.bsky.social Taohua gently tugs on his robe and gives him a cup of tea. “Your majesty, give this to Uncle Michael and say you made it for him. For his wounds.”

Meanwhile, Taohua shakes her head and turns to her baby cousin. “Well, SiSi, never mind about matching dresses cause when Uncle Michael finally gets married, we’re gonna be old ladies.”

“Uncle Yichie and Uncle Slothy lost their brains?!” She gasps and looks at him with wide eyes. He doesn’t seem worried, though, so she nods. “Ok! I’ll only listen to Uncle Michael!” She hugs his neck tightly.

“Uncle Yichie said you will maybe in a thousand years,” she pouts and hugs his neck. “Uncle Slothy says you want your own baby instead of me.”

“I won’t ask her,” she shakes ber her her head. “She wants me and her and Si to get the same dress for your wedding.”

Let’s go ask! [They grab his hands and start pulling]

“…” she stares at him for a moment. “Soo-pee…Uncle Michael, I don’t know that word!” Now she’s just frustrated.

🌸: Can you be a sword so we can use you to fight people? 🍑: No, A-Mei! You can’t kill Uncle Michael’s boyfriend!

You can’t tell us what to do! We’re gonna play with him right now!

// Them playing with Chenqing and accidentally summoning Wen Ning 🤣

We can! Uncle Slothy will say so when he comes back from counting rice!

She hugs his neck and looks like her entire world is crashing down. “Daiyu-Jie and Uncle Yichie wants that mean emperor to marry Uncle Michael. He’s mean and makes Uncle Michael do all the work! Uncle Michael already has to do all the work cause he’s the strongest!”

We wanna play with Chenqing!

While Meihua is having a fit about Uncle Michael getting married, Taohua is laying out silk cloths in front of baby Si. “SiSi, Uncle Michael is getting married! We should get matching dresses, so pick which one you like!”