One like, one imaginary stomach crunch

🎶Clowns to the left of me Nazis to the right Here I am Stuck in a dying democracy where it won't stop raining and everything costs a fortune with you🎶

Wearing more than one scrunchie in your hair

At this point, I do not know how anyone denies what is happening in Gaza unless they have no sense of morals. People are starving to death. They are being shot at when they come to get food. What else can you possibly call this but genocide?

Imagine thinking that the biggest problem facing the UK right now is asylum seekers delivering kebabs

Ok, if this guy wasn't Lestat the vampire, what would his band's name be? Because I swear this is exactly how I picture a minor character in my WIP and his band is currently called *THE SOMETHINGS TBC*

"We say this thing like this, so this other thing should follow that pattern and you're wrong if you disagree" is a terrible argument, because English is a messy, messy bitch

We're done? Like, we're going to cease to exist? Can we wait a few weeks so I can go on holiday first?

Oh my god have I finally, FINALLY, figured out the MCs' dynamic for this god damn bloody book?

I was too tired to drag myself into the office this morning so decided to WFH, but I forgot my neighbour was having his patio pressure washed and now I have regrets

Every time you look at this, there's something new to wonder about

3 years ago today, I became an indie romance author! Happy birthday, Cleo and Devon 🎂 mybook.to/TheScoop

I sold Jamie Bell a denim skirt

This is obviously the solution to the BBC's dilemma - edit Wallace and Torode out and replace all their bits with Hacker

Why the fuck has the Jet2 holiday advert become a meme and, more to the point, when the fuck are my kids going to stop reciting it 13 times a day?

Rereading the Brown Sisters series by Talia Hibbert and it's just as delightful as ever, maybe more so #romancelandia

Imagine you and another man just having to go 'the jelly was nice' or 'the asparagus needed two more minutes' and both of you fucking it up this hard

I was ironing my favourite dress, which I love because it has POCKETS, and discovered that one of the POCKETS has POCKETS!!

A Very Sweary Dictionary and I would also like to claim some credit. (No idea if it's actually warranted but I'm gonna do it anyway) (Reposted without the unfortunate typo)

A Very Sweaty Dictionary and I would also like to claim some credit. (No idea if it's actually warranted but I'm gonna do it anyway)

"Show, don't tell" has morphed into "Just describe everything with physical detail" in far too many writers' brains.

Ten writers by whom I’ve read more than five books: 1. Terry Pratchett 2. Talia Hibbert 3. Joanne Harris 5. Douglas Adams 6. Kate William 7. Kate William 8. Kate William 9. Kate William 10. Kate William ifykyk, right @svhpodcast.bsky.social?

The kids are making me watch K Pop Demon Hunters and what the actual fuck is going on?!

Absolutely not

Age verification but it's whether 'he cannae see man!' means anything to you

The world's most famous medical NGO concludes Israel is committing genocide. It joins a consensus of genocide scholars, including in Israel, and NGOs like Amnesty International. No politician or journalist can claim "I did not know at the time!" to evade future justice.

Me: I'm off work today so I'm going to have a lovely sleep in. The sun through my east-facing window: that's what you think, bitch

Cleaning my reusable lid thingies is surprisingly adorable

There is absolutely no justification for still using the hellsite

Lots of people happy about this Salt Path thing because it's great journalism, very entertaining, giving us insight into middle class grifters etc etc etc but I am mostly pleased because it's helped me finally find more funny UK people to follow

See, NYT Connections, it's things like today's purple that make everybody HATE YOU

Self-Publishing is actually pretty easy if you do no marketing and don't expect sales lol

Look, my dad has been confidently stating plausible-sounding but made-up things for decades, but I don't see anyone trying to add him to every digital product in the universe

I know a lot of people around the world think Britain did not get enough retribution for its many past atrocities but we did get Evri and that's not nothing

This season of Taskmaster was up there like

I think we're being trolled 😂 (I genuinely like this company, btw, so this post isn't intended to shame them. It happens to the best of us!)

I have only just realised that Bob Vylan is not supposed to rhyme with Rylan

I have vertigo and am very miserable. Please cheer me up by posting the most delicious food picture in your camera roll.

My diary entry every god damn day

TRANSPARENT BEGGING POST: Do you have a friend who likes old books, art printing, or cool vintage machines? Do they have loads of money? If the answer to either (or even better, both!) of those questions is yes, would you share my fundraiser with them? 👇 Thank you xx

"cut benefits to force people into jobs that are disappearing in favour of AI I see no flaw in this plan this is definitely why people voted labour "

If you're using genAI to communicate with your friends, they're not really YOUR friends, are they? GenAI is the one having the relationship, you're just the lazy meatsack middleman. If you really cared, you'd cut yourself out of the equation entirely and tell them to just keep talking to the bot.

It is one of those counterintuitive and yet 100% true rules of life that not caring what other ppl think of you almost immediately makes a whole lot of people think better of you

Computers used to scream every time they connected to the Internet. They knew. They tried to warn us. We did not listen.

I do not normally tell people to go to Sunderland but if you get the chance you should go to the Empire and watch Hamilton because it's fucking excellent

I’d love to fill this developmental editing slot, so I'm offering 10% off! If your manuscript is ready, this is your chance to get on my schedule and save. 🖋️ for July 7 start date only 🖋️ up to 90,000 words 🖋️ Fantasy, Soft Sci-Fi, or RomCom We have paperwork to sign—reach out soon!

Has anyone ever figured out *why* we were all so obsessed with quicksand?

Absolutely not. Got to be a gyros and mojito stall for me.

I keep thinking that Bluesky has suddenly become extremely chill about everything, but then I remember it's because I muted every single scary word I could think of the other day 😂

I used to run with a pretty tough gang when I was younger. The Gang: