I would like to go home and sleep. I wonder if it's the weather. I've been flared up for a month now. I want to write too but I'm so tire...

This is not my week. Period back after 6 months of freedom. I feel gross. And 2 fucking Speeding tickets, one of which I wasn't fucking Speeding for.

Dawgs

Everything hurts. I need to be dipped in Biofreeze and wrapped in bandages. Pain and stress. Want to scream.

I don't know who needs to hear this, but you're wonderful and enough.

Feeling less like I'm being choked now that I have meds. still exhausted. sleeping late tomorrow before eye appointment. need new glasses.

I just want to scream. Two nights straight of nightmares and no sleep. I hurt everywhere. I want to cry and scream and hit things and hide. I also want to throw up, my head hurts and it feels like something is wrapped around my throat so I'm short of breath :(

Today in My Body Is Weird: My knees feel loose. Like I'm wobbly on my feet, body trying to go in ways I am NOT telling it to go. Which should be impossible, because one of my knees is fricking metal and plastic, it cannot BE loose! And yet, I've almost fallen half a dozen times today.

Just waiting for the Tangerine Terrorist to attempt to annex Vatican City and declare himself Pope...

My job is public facing. People are already mean enough

I'm not vain. I'm really not. But my teeth? I just...my damn front tooth. And if I had the $ to fix it and knew the fix would work? At least I could save up. But dental work fails on me. Over and over, so I spend &still end up losing the tooth. I can't lose a front tooth!

The lupus is attacking my teeth and I am so upset. It had been my back teeth but now its a front tooth. Seeing specialist next week, but I have very little $ and the bill will likely be 1k+. I'm ashamed. I know it's vain, but fuck it leave my teeth alone! I can't loose this damned tooth!

Check out @fatgirlsinfiction.bsky.social FREEBIE DAY! Over 50 romances with fat MCs, all free for you to one-click today 👀📚 books.bookfunnel.com/fatgirlsinfi...

Anima meets Animus. The oldest story in the world.

PMS during perimenopause hits HARD. I want to punch everyone and everything. With knives.

It is frigging freezing. I'm in bed and so cold 🥶. My toes? Icy. Ugh. Need someone to warm me up. Ugh.

I know I'm not alone in this, but my mental health keeps me from following what's actually happening in the news lately. Which is a switch for me, because I'm typically a new junkie. But every time I peek and I see the Tangerine One has done something else...panic. So, I'm avoiding. Hard.

SCOOP: A US Treasury threat intelligence analysis has designated DOGE staff an ‘insider threat'. An internal email reviewed by WIRED calls DOGE staff's access to federal payments systems “the single biggest insider threat risk the Bureau of the Fiscal Service has ever faced.”

At last, my wrecked car nightmare is over! Today, I picked up my new car, a Buick Encore. She's cherry red and her name is Dahlia. She's very nice, drives so easy and I'm looking forward to having a car that's *mine* instead of a rental. Getting used to pushing a button, instead of a key

I need a mani/pedi so bad and my normal salon I'd closed...so I am braving the salon that blasts Faux News. Pray for me.

My Nova died today. She was at the vet's office and passed. I think she did it so I wouldn't have to make the choice to put her to sleep. She had encephalitis. There was nothing we could do. She was a good, sweet kitty who loved me and Gramma very much and our house feels much emptier tonight.

stop paying for the rental. Money would give me a damned down payment on a new car and I could just wait for the insurance to do the damned payout. But I currently have negative money. Fuck me, I'm screwed. I think the cat isn't going to make it and it's just because I don't have the fucking money

I'm going to have a panic attack. I can feel it building right now and I don't know what to do about it. It's always money! It's always lack of money that does this to me. Money would get the cat to the vet. Money would help pay for the car rental longer, even if the insurance company decides to

My anxiety is hitting the ceiling. Insurance company hasn't been talking to me about the wreck I had last week, I can't get a new car until they pay out the claim. My cat Nova is very very sick and needs a vet but I currently have negative money. I just want to scream. I barely had money to get gas

I feel like a big baby and like I should snap out of it. Like, I just paid off all my debt, I can afford a car note. But I don't want one! I want to enjoy having money that's not pre-spent! I was going to put that money into a House Downpayment fund!

All I want to do is cry. And scream. And cryscreamcry. And sleep late, stay in bed all day, eat pizza and read monster romance novels. While someone gives me a foot massage. And a winning lotto ticket. Dammit.

Also also, my feet are killing me. Just extremely painful, cramping, shooting jolts of pain, making it hard to walk :(

Feel the urge to scream. Wreck last week means my car is totaled. I had JUST paid it off. In December! I do not want a car note! I had just finally gotten completely out of debt!!! Also, do you know how hard it is to find an affordable used car, with decent MPG and reasonable mileage??

Hey! I got through the holidays without getting depressed! That's seriously a first!

Hello skyline! Anyone out there use StoryGraph? I just set up my account last night, so I'm looking for people to follow/discuss books with. I'll read just about anything, although my favs are romance, fantasy, sci-fi, mystery. I'm butterfyzan there too, so give me a follow, no?

Chronic Illnesses & Heaven #chronicillnessmemes #chronicillnesshumor #chronicillness [Heaven] ME, AFTER DYING: We need to talk GOD: Is this about the butt-load of chr- ME: "Is this about the butt-load of chronic illnesses" WTF, dude, Yes. It's about the butt-load of chronic illnesses.

The toes on one of my feet are very cold. Like having little shivers of ice going through them. It's not cold in my house. I have the heater on, it's comfortable. I have my feet covered with a blanket. There is no reason for this, but it's been going on all day. *sigh* Stupid lupus.

I got myself a Christmas present yesterday

I just feel like I'm stuck in this weird in-between...not to mention so many ppl are super-conservative here and I am Not. It's just hard and I don't know what to do, so I end up doing nothing which doesn't change anything and.....oy

Having been chronically ill most of my life, I didn't do a lot of the usual things ppl tend to do. Didn't have those experiences, so it's hard to connect w/ppl my age. But younger ppl aren't at the same place in their life that I am, or they want things I cannot give them.

My traditional Holiday Depression is trying to make it's appearance and I'm trying to Stop It. I'm feeling lonely again and looking at dating apps and I wonder, do I really want to do that? It never ends well.

The Louisiana Abortion Fund—the only one of its kind in the state—gives direct funding to people across the state who need to access abortion care. Right now, this Black-led org is trying to raise just $1,500 and any help is appreciated www.gofundme.com/f/stand-with...

Spent the day cleaning my bedroom. You can see the floor now! I put up my curtains, finally! I even washed my comforter! And I'm *not* exhausted? I have no idea how this is happening, but I'm gonna go with it.

My mother is making me crazy again. GAH

Listen to me - if you’re one of the oppressed or especially multiply marginalized people living here right now? Your job is to SURVIVE. There’s nothing else i need from you more. I need you to know that you are never less important than any other human being. Fight, run, hide, i don’t care. LIVE.

Went to the salon where they play Food Network and not Faux News. Blessed normalcy.

My new job starts Monday, so I am in town for a fresh manipedi and to return some phone chargers. Gods save me from old ppl praising Trump and saying they can't wait until he starts throwing ppl out...

The amount of people I adore today are saddened, angery, empty and broken. Myself included. I will always be a safe place for trans lives and they will be welcomed in my heart. Remember you are loved.

Distracting myself with planning for my vacation over Thanksgiving. We're going to Branson. I'll have a steady paycheck again. Hopefully, it will be cold. I need a good overnight bag, since the one I have now doesn't zip/close across the top.

Bought a couple bottles of cheap wine and am considering being slightly drunk for awhile....

Full menopause cannot come soon enough.

I'm avoiding news like the plague. I cannot cope with the news atm. Have managed to get up. Took my meds. Have a muffin so I have a food. Focusing on starting new job. Need to order a few things for that. Gonna get my nails done again this week. Need a hair cut. Just...breathe. Take a step.

I don't know how to function today. I'm in bed crying and unable to get up. But I have to. I start my new job Monday. I have to remember how to move.

Watching docuseries about a group of women who hunt serial killers. So much more relaxing than news atm.