cropped dusted myself and it smells like broccoli :(

hippopotamus gosh

she let me hit because I'm jester

society is facing a lot of problems these days and i think obviously the absolute worst one that causes the most misery is that people rarely take their backpacks off in the kind of situations where they used to now

lightening up the mood with a piss post

night 1 / night 2

lowtaxmaxxing is this anything

friggin Chris person inducing demand again Jesus Christ

a guy who doesn't know anything about the law: I can't wait for discovery

I saw a clip on YouTube of an enormous woman in the pit at a metal show wrecking dudes and you could tell everyone was loving that energy

Jim Dolan please send me the database of enormous women you have assembled. I am also enormous and thus not threatened by them.

starting my own music streaming service that is just midi tracks from early oughts keygens

lesbianism was instantaneously understandable to me because I am very smart

smoking on that shit that launched a thousand ships

a guy who has never once considered that military personnel consume food: how hard could it be?

gender reveal lunar excursion module

parry menopause *sound of swords clashing*

imagine how much of a loser Jim Dolan is based solely on what we actually know about him.

big titty dos takes down website

taking AI employment advice from a middle aged actress who was married to a guy with a huge collection of Nazi memorabilia

unsinkable Molly cobb

🎶🎶 NO! SKEETS! ON BLUESKY! 🎶🎶

clicking every porn link and NSFW image to throw the algo off my scent

I'm so virtuous I won't even touch a ball peen hammer

rare girth minerals

one of the great beachwear advances has been "whole entire ass hanging out"

gender reveal lunar excursion module

a guy who has never once considered that military personnel consume food: how hard could it be?

smoking on that shit that launched a thousand ships

spoiling the ending of a tv show so everyone knows I'm so cool I live my life by tv show start times I am the coolest guy alive because I watch tv at precisely the moment at which it is available to watch I am the first hog through the gate for the slop trough

introducing myself to my wife's new coworkers at the Christmas party

lesbianism was instantaneously understandable to me because I am very smart

they are doing this to me tomorrow

I am the lead developer at Bluesky

there was an issue felching posts

Hacks (like the also women and men who don't hate women made Fleabag) is great partly cuz it's about women who hate themselves who the audience still loves while Euphoria (made by a man who hates women) is about women who hate themselves but not as much as the audience is urged to at every turn

northern Leon?

milfs are back on the menu boys

Nicole Kidman claims her latest victim

finally, it's nice and quiet on blue sky

yeah that stat about Republicans shifting away from supporting Israel is actually kinda frightening

elevator pitch for my new TV show: "Six babes in evening wear and Mandy Patinkin" sold it in the room

person who read it as melrose palace this whole time: i was reading it as melrose palace this whole time

ai model that misunderstood my depraved and completely unnecessary request: you're absolutely right! me: it's true. i am absolutely right

mortal Kombat the movie is on in our house for the second time in five days

*spilling a can of coke Zero all over myself in the trunk of my kidnappers car when he stops short to put a move on the other kidnapper in the passenger seat* "God damn it, were you raised in a barn? Vehicle beverages need to be resealable!"

if I was sub zero, my opening attack would not be "snowballs"