Goddamn I love size differences

Sooooo Pantone is really just gonna pick white for the color of 2026??

...Can someone please explain how ANYTHING gets done in LA? I went to the UPS store and to Ralph's, both of which are within 2 miles of my apartment, and off Laurel Canyon. I left at 1:30 and didn't get home until half an hour ago.

Ever have one of those nights where you can’t sleep, so you get in the car and just drive? I guess it’s time for a beach walk in Santa Monica ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Can anyone please explain how a damn font is "woke?" Is this really what we should be spending energy on? Christ on a cracker. apple.news/AXXwuZ38GQme...

It took two hours and some VERY creative explicatives, but I now have a bed frame!!

Happy #fcf everybody! The CA sun was extra kind this morning

I, for one, welcome millennials’ “text don’t knock” approach. As the owner of an *incredibly* friendly bulldog, it’s nice to be able to stave off the chaos until I’ve closed the door

Dear anyone I’ve ever pissed off by minimizing your annoyance at the seat being up: I am deeply sorry. I finally did it. I sat in the bowl. I understand now.

Look, Dad! Hurr durr, I’m ThE cat

Mmmm… Bahthhouse lighting on a promising Slutty Sunday (is that a thing? I’m making it á thing) #gaypup #gaysocks

Sometimes you just need to jerk off inside someone’s husband while you ride him. Happy Halloween, everybody!!

I’m not a fan of Newsom and his mealy-mouthed support of the queer community, but we desperately need more pols like him and Pritzker; willing to engage with this regime in direct and forceful language. We fought a whole war about despots forcing their will on the people once. We can do it again.

And thanks to humidity not being a thing, I CAN WEAR JEANS AGAIN. I feel bad for you, little queer people in my phone. I’m gonna be a MENACE in LA weather 😆😆

Happy #ThongThursday, y'all. I resisted for the longest time, but figured I couldn't make fun of thongs until I tried them. I, uh. I have feelings. #Gaypup #malefeet #gayotter

Unexpected breakup perk: I fit EVERYTHING he left behind now 😈

Me: Hmmm... 10AM is a little early for a beer. Also Me: Wait. Teeeeechnicalllly. my body is still on EST. Airport rules still apply until I fully acclimate to LA time..

Ok, I couldn’t just put myself out here all Grizzly Adams and *not* show you that I am, in fact, a Civilized Person™️. Oh, and happy #Locktober 7th! (I promise the last pic was a cleaning break)

For #TummyTuesday, I wanted to pat myself on the back. After COVID, I was heavier than I’d ever been, miserable, out of breath, and with a sex drive that was all but dead. 5 years later, down to a weight I haven’t seen since Obama wore a tan suit. I’m so thankful for the help and support I had.❤️

Figures the one time I have my apartment to myself no one wants to bate 😭

Not the TSA agent patting me down, looking at my collar and saying, “Locktober?” 🤣

Getting ready to settle in for a night of heavy gooning before my first #Locktober. Gotta send the lil guy off with a bang, y’know?

I'm sorry in advance for how my room is going to smell... Gonna try Locktober this year, so I'm taking FULL advantage of the next 7 days of access to my peener. Granted, I'm cheating because I hold my own keys, but still.

I’d like a bro to just snifffffff rn

I meaaaan, there are a nonzero number of my friends who know that if I don't cum I'm gonna be a prick until someone pushes me against the wall in the bathroom and forcibly extracts it. There's also a nonzero number of my friends for whom I just... wouldn't stop. It's just my dick

On this fine, 3rd #MonochromeMonday, I hope your work day is as easy as I am.

The furry who invents an infinite scroll app for e621 will be a billionaire

Anyone else ever accidentally bate themselves into hypoglycemia? No? Just me? In other news, I’m now pretty sure I know what it’s like to ride in a tumble dryer

Tapping the sign.

A very close friend is having top surgery this week, so to celebrate we’re throwing a Yeet the Teats party. I now see why everyone calls millennials so deeply unserious 🤣

Is a pair of soles on my face to goon to too much to ask??

Well, it’s official! My mom is finally well enough that I can finally move into the apartment I’ve been paying for, for the last year 🤣🤣. The movers have already pulled all my stuff from storage and in a few more weeks I can finally enjoy LA! Left coast, prepare your sphincter!

I ate half a loaf of crusty bread and butter for dinner. Fall is coming

CPB? Fucking really‽ We, as the kids say, are cooked.

Sorry that I liked 31 of your posts, it’s just that I really want to fuck you

You call me after hours, this is the sysadmin you’re getting #gaypup #sysadmin

Garbage day is Tuesday in my town. I can’t describe why, but it’s always struck me as weird

Oh lordt. The new South Park.. Def a return to form

On sight

I love that on Day 1 of my new job, I got no less than *SIX* recruiter calls.

Well that sucks. Just got a call; the only raffle I've ever won I actually don't qualify for because I'm single 😭 😅

Holy FUCK. Go watch Straw. Now.

New favorite text ever

I always saw the "Free Mom Hugs" folks and thought, "oh. Well that's really nice of them." until today. Went to a "pride" thing in Wilmington (it's in quotes because there isn't a pride, per se) and I just SOBBED into this random woman's arms. Thanks, free mom hugs people.

Rubble "Seconds From Disaster," 2025 Digital Photo Edition 1/🕳️ $Jus,tco,meg,eth.im

"how do you get things from not US YouTube given where Minnesota is located" okay you need a VPN and you just need to connect to a country where *nobody* has the broadcast rights to Eurovision (Canada is your natural first choice)

The Grey Gardens remake (2009) is surprisingly good! I didn't have many expectations, but it managed to exceed all of them