This is Chootie. He looks like a dog, but from one of those 15th century paintings done by someone who had only ever heard about dogs. 12/10 (IG: chootieboy)

yourself but as a cartoon.

yes, Oliver, come to Minnesota, I'll help you out with that.

Worst. Timeline. 😭😭😭😭😭

Olivia Miles is un-fucking-real. I know it's early days, but what a phenomenal rookie season so far. Miles, Howard, Williams, and McBride...and with Phee eventually coming back? Shit, the Lynx are going all the way. I'm calling it now. #Lynx #wnba

Last day of school over and done. Fuck yeah! Bring on summer, I ain't doing shit!!

This is Ramsey. He is a mail delivery dog. Shipping is free, and while packages might not be handled with care, they are handled with enthusiasm. 14/10 (TT: rhiannoninthe904)

There is something brutally psychically injurious to being constantly told "just do good work and you'll be successful" while watching people who do the most dogshit work possible do all the succeeding.

people who write/make notes in library books should be kicked in the dick.

Genuinely so fucking excited they're putting out physical media for Heated Rivalry I could cry.

There are no “legitimate concerns” about trans people. There aren’t any about women’s safety or fairness in sports or kids being kids or fucking toilets. If there were you’d have heard of them before 2018. I am a cis white woman so you have to listen to me or I’ll cry.

moved my mom into assisted living today and I'm exhausted. she's excited to be there because she can't drive and isn't very mobile so she basically just sits in her house all day watching tv. now she's got an entire social calendar with stuffed circled to do. it's so cute!

Best shot ever of mobila rays? INSANE FOOTAGE (Aidan Bedford) Annual migration in the sea of Cortez WOW Why do we destroy our oceans and nature everywhere? #WarOnNature #Metacrisis

I'm pretty sure when everyone saw what Ryan was wearing today they were all ok slut and changed their pose ideas to variations of 'raise those arms bitch!'

rg slutting it up this weekend I see.

I do think the word thing is an issue but they can look that up (or be taught). The complete inability to understand inference, theme, allusion, or to extrapolate motives and “off-screen” actions is truly terrifying to me. It’s how we get “anything anyone says is true and anything unsaid isn’t real”

happy birthday america, i got you the corpse of a 30 year old one hit wonder shuffling around in front of a fight pit next to a giant hole in the ground that used to be the east wing all at the pleasure of an octogenarian rapist with dementia

Turning off my Friday alarm because it's the last Friday of the school year. JOOOOY.

Mr and Mrs Poop ready to co-parent again in season 10

ugh, Amy, did you really have to invite Lena Dunham on your podcast this week?

look. is everything more expensive now? yes. but you have to look on the bright side too. now every time you open a computer, it doesn't work

types of mutual on social media: * your buddy you riff with all the time * someone you used to riff with but are pretty sure has you muted at this point * person you admire who followed you back somehow and gives you a jumpscare every time they like a post * we interacted one time years ago

They didn't die while serving in the military, but they died protecting our freedoms from those who would destroy them, nonetheless. Remembering these heroes on this Memorial Day.

Without a doubt, Leslie in Bridge to Terabithia. I was distraught. I cried my eyeballs out and sent my mom into a panic because she thought something terrible had happened to me. (Followed verrry closely by Matthew in Anne of Green Gables and Beth in Little Women.)

started watching the last season of Hacks. god I love this show sfm.

To my peeps, and my Brown and LGBTQ friends. Never forget that your light was so damn bright they handed the world to the first asshole who promised to dim it.

saw M*tch McC*nnell trending was hoping the fucking goblin had died.

This is Frank. He was getting checked out at the vet when he decided the appointment was over. Has things to do and places to be, but doesn't mind if you come along. 13/10 (TT: thatonevettech)

If Heated Rivelry was in the PWHL, it would be a short story. "We met. She's so good, I'm mad/it's hot! We got married." End scene.

this is a cat check point; relinquish your most recent cat picture on your phone

it’s your duty as an antifascist to be as big of a pervert as you can

Editor: You get those photos of Steven Spielberg and E.T.? Photographer: Sure did boss, real fuckin sexy just like you asked. Editor: what

Alex Haley grew up in Tennessee. He traced his family tree back to his original enslaved, African ancestor, then wrote 'Roots'. He received a Pulitzer Prize for it. Knoxville just banned it 'cause it might make white kids sad.

To watch all the NFL games next year you'll need: CBS FOX NBC Peacock ESPN Amazon Prime Netflix Hulu Paramount Plus AppleTV Minus Disney ExactlyTheSame The Rice-a-Roni app LG Model 3120G Washer/Dryer with CleanSwish™ Tumble-Pro Technology 2000mg of LSD that allows you to access The Phantasma Realm

this is the last photo on my parents' video birdfeeder before it was mysteriously destroyed we may never know what happened

Raising the Flag Follow my work and writing on Substack: nickanderson.substack.com

getting through the last few weeks of school is always a horror show. that being said, parents no longer parent their children - they expect teachers/the school staff to do it for them and then get pissed when we don't do it the way they want - and as a result their kids are fucking nightmares.

I also made it through this trauma. lol. the theater ended up being much fuller, but still not full enough for this kind of bullshit. I made prolonged, awkward eye-contact with the woman when I had to move my purse for her when they got there which made me feel much better. 😆

Leonard Maltin did an introduction for the film and made a point to talk about Ruth and Idgie being lovers and the GLAAD award the film won. I was like, hell yeah they are! In this fucking country right now it was a damn pleasant surprise they made it a point to mention that in their introduction.

going to see a showing of Fried Green Tomatoes tonight and I just went in to check on which seats I bought for us because I bought them like a month ago and someone bought the two seats RIGHT NEXT to ours. there's only 3 other occupied seats in the entire theater. I fucking hate people.

damn, Ober pitched a complete game and a shut-out?? what did they feed that boy today??

2 available copies, 0 requests, yet I'm 3rd in the queue for the book. how does that math work, library??

it's a real bummer when everyone's shitting on your team. :(

had a nightmare last night that Buck had to marry 🗿 to adopt Theo and Eddie spent the whole reception sitting in between them/getting in between them at every opportunity and I was like, yep, sounds about right. lol. marry your man, homotron.

SERIES TIED!! #Timberwolves

watched Remarkably Bright Creatures last night and it's just as lovely as the book. let's just say there were tears and leave it at that. lol.

If we actually want to appreciate moms, we should be providing free childcare, healthcare, and guaranteed income for stay-at-home parents to put more money in families’ pockets and ensure no SAHP is reliant on a partner for their economic security. Idk I think that’s better than 15% off a vacuum.