wife bought me soup dumplings 😭❤️

asexual wizard: the only “ass” i care about is “geas”

saw the backrooms movie if anyone was curious about it

conversations are just competitions to see who can say a word the other person doesn’t know first

youtu.be/fCgsg9JdbXo song makes me nostalgic for less than a year ago time

i think i'm just easily impressed because any time im playing a game and see the year it came out, i go "wow! this has great graphics for being x years old!"

hello i am not died i am going a bit without bleusky on my phone

new character unlocked! would you like to view the characters tutorial? “yes” BLORBO ATTACKS BY PURGING THEIR SCHEMA CHARAFE; THIS ADVANCES THE LEVIATHAN TRIGGERED BY 4 DEGREES PER GEOMETRY-ALIGNED ABILITIES USED DURING THIS FIGHT

do not, under any circumstances, read this

video game boss who yells “this is my fetish!!” as one of their taking-damage barks

ok i figured it out northernlion is millennial larry david

chiitan for president of every country

I choose love over hate. And bigger love when love comes. If you're unsure about trans people, Chiitan isn't asking you to understand. Just watch over them kindly. Trans folks simply want to laugh, love & grow with those who light up their world. 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈

i am brain poisoned that when i see “lmao” my brain pronounces it “laa-mai-oh”

this is my post of the day thank you everyone good night

@cockremover.bsky.social what do you think is a better name for a documentary about your life: “emma, the account that launched a thousand reply girls”, “e.m.m.a.: dead reckoning” “robocop 5: the search for curly’s gold”

*grabbing the stand up comedy mic* hey you know, my wife; she loves eggs! im startin’ to think that’s why she started dating me in the first place! *there is no audience present*

do u all think my egg needs some ketchup

Nancy 5/26/26

i think star wars would work better if disney stopped trying to treat it so seriously

remember when there was a final fantasy villain named “yazoo”

guy who thinks “lfg” is short for “looking for godot”, the cult sequel to “waiting for godot”

spent my day off building a new shelf hanger things for clothes so i get to eat da good ice cream

prepare to suffer beyond your wildest imaginings. i cast “curse of wrong subtitles”!

tonight i am enjoying exactly one (1) weekend beer

nerds wanna make fun of me for not seeing the difference between 60 and 120 fps but they don’t wanna talk about how much money i save on monitors

bingus up, samurai, we’ve got a city to ough

We made a comic about mood rings.

if your meal doesn’t have you sit back with a big sigh and pat your tummy with both hands did you really even eat

“for euthanasia”

they’re calling me the girl who didn’t play pentiment yet somehow

the reason pocky is so good is that each individual stick has a strand of unicorn hair running through the middle

tres leches cake? now, personally, i think i'm gonna need at least seis leches to be happy

HELLO <user> THIS IS A REMINDER THAT YESTERDAY YOU LOGGED ON TO BLUESKY BUT DID NOT CLAIM YOUR FREE LOGIN REWARD

call katie tightpussy

watching a vod and the streamer said they thought apples were mid; back to back comments came in: “kill this streamer” “based streamer” the full spectrum of human emotion in one succinct moment

is this some kind of smokers courtesy im unaware of? leave ur lighter for the next guy who wants to smoke on these stairs?

i got both. that’s right it was a lesson on compromise and diversity all along

they’re adding grogu to warhammer 40k

ashamed to be in the same age group as people who would sincerely enjoy a cage match between jar jar binks and grogu

they should make a girl version of indiana jones

alright chat. i need everyone to come together to help make a major decision. should i get rice or noodles as the carb in my lunch

oh fuck off, if this is really “the wrong way to smoke” then explain why the end of a cigarette is the exact same diameter as my nostril

had to hear my voice on recording and i inflect exactly like my sister what the fuuucccckkk

nostalgia-obsessed reddit atheist/skeptic bro: we don’t KNOW that indiana jones movies have any supernatural elements maybe that guys face just did that

malifactus, the unyielding: remember what you swore! do not forsake your honor and become oathbreaker! me: okay okay sorry ill take out the trash, my bad

snake: war. war never changes. otacon: *places a history book in his hands* snake: …. war has changed in several historically and economically significant ways over the past several centuries

*streamer voice* yeah, i think today’s speedrun is fucked; i rolled heavy fork build and got stuck in the soup dungeon

AAAHHH HOLY FUCK THE FLORENCE WELCH GATSBY MUSICAL IS COMING BACL FUCK YEAH FUCK YEAH