call me iron lung the way I got iron in m- ach augh haaack grahhh huiahhh... ACK ACK hjhh

what's the onset on these

people were talking about some orange dude and frozen water on my morning walkies today? they had me walk into the capitol too.. i got treats afterwards though yay!

waking up to @cassienya.bsky.social humping me only to use her newly acquired bulge as a phone stand to watch BOTW speedruns

wireless emergency alert told me to look at Denver PD twitler account for updates and this is what I see 😭

witnessing these things while "fake plastic trees" by radiohead was playing in the biggest building I've ever entered was an experience. what the fuck have I gotten myself into

sure wonder what I'm getting for January 14thmas this year :>

did someone call their kid "true" or did was one guy out there so {Morgan Freeman hand pointing finger} that another person was like "yeah we're making a synonym after you pal" I'm.talking about franks

alternate reality where corporations start fighting for the sun for solar panel area and like build on top of or sabotage their competitors all to provide power to their ai datacenters what? ETA in T-10 years?

fahwkkk I shoulda really said "going to burgatory rn chat" before flying here.. ts shit so fnny is2g cht 🙏

if I see another person call a hex screw an "allen wrench screw", I will bite my way through the walls of this house

cassie told me she's stuffing me full of meat and she shoved a big girthy steak down my throat...

thanks otokonoko

discord's optimistic ui is sometimes so slow that just a normal network request with an optimized frontend feels faster..

me: hey at least i'm not drinking brian my digitial consciousness upload that just spent a billion years in solitary confinement after i got caught stealing from target: PLEASE FUCKING KILL ME

paw-locking my owner so she has to pay for litter support

what the fuck is this, I was expecting colder weather than southern norway.. winter is dead.

bus seat earcups for my beloved ath-m50xs arrived yay!! thanks momazon

reading random shit on my phone when I overhear whatever slop cassie is watching do "*ting* hacky sack *ting* hacky sacky sack *ting* hacky sacky sacky sack *ting" hacky sacky sacky sacky sack". this cannot be any better for your brain than just downloading tiktok or whatever

she started humping my butt without realizing the discount tire hold music was playing on speaker. very cbat-coded experience

this thing I found in cassie's car that's probably legally alive by now. it smelled like chocolate raisins and I wasn't allowed to take a bite

happy new years to everyone in EST!! (I think there's a lot of you)

I'd buy a pizza for developers who consistently do "x.y.(z + 1): minor bugfixes and optimizations" for years

just saw a car with "niri" as it's license plate. I wonder if they were a developer for the scrolling wayland compositor or something else I don't know about

These dog cookies from the Petco dog treat bar thing taste exactly like golden oreos according to my dog @mochienya.bsky.social Get them for your puppygirl today!

merry christmas to you too, donald jonald trump

ok so apparently my skin has unusually high grip and thermal conductivity?? idk what this really means but

"the device" on very high gets more frames than my home setup on medium-high (cs2)

my sixth sense is "microwave almost done"

ok so don't eat seaweed in denver

me when I accidentally left the hypnotizinator on the wrong setting so the quiet college kid starts humping furniture and barking instead of assassinating peter thiel

blue gator aid with rapefruit juice is actually fire

repenting into the toilet for the sin of consuming american kibble

if my kibble has different thingiws on the plate I'm either eating them seperately one by one or mixing the entire thing into unrecognizable homogenous slop

finally home, I started the trip at fucking 1766034053

ok apparently ALL lithium batteries are banned from checked in luggage now?? I hate you smasnug

I'm honestly mildly concerned about what the fuck I just let into my body. I was sleeping overnight at LAX cause my flight got delayed and i was feeling thirsty so I tried their free bottled water but it just did nothing?? like I drank that entire thing in a few seconds and my throat was still 1/2

sending good fortune to whoever put 2 genuinely good pillows in some mildly cozy corner in copenhagen airport

me: "where is oregon" cassie: "portland"

every time i use my deTangleInator in the shower it looks like i shed an entire winter coat at once

another day, another shader pre-caching update for counter-strike 2

tomla harris json biden richard nixon barack ocaml

took you long enough sleepy jo- tump-kun..

nixos is like linux for women

i swear i just saw house md and jd vance in the crowd i'm so done

i will eat an unseasoned (still cooked though) chicken breast if there is no half life 3 at the game awards (watching the stream rn)

jesus nailed the miracle without venture capital

these broccolamis go hard rn

kde greeting me with this after i'm forced to reboot my computer because kwin crashed when i tried fullscreening a discord stream..