An extremely accurate description of the effect of current #TheArchers story line maze. Brandy and Benylin you say? Might give it a go.

Is this Crispin bloke actually a Christian? We all know Peggy wasn't actually that keen on loving your neighbour, turning the other cheek, and passing through the eye of a needle and all that christianity stuff .. Maybe he's a Satanist. #TheArchers

David is forcibly reminding me of one of those red-faced grumpy old men on Question Time. #TheArchers

That was a very quick affair 😳 Bit of squelchy snogging and it's all over. #TheArchers

What the flippity flop is going on with Rex and Rochelle and the squelching noises? Rex must have a blooming death wish this week! #TheArchers

Blimey Rex - you're on dangerous ground here. Helen will be reeling you in like a great big carp. Next thing you know, you'll be Henry and Jack's stepdad competing for bathroom space with Natasha, Tom and the SuperNovas in Beechell. #TheArchers

And another thing. Why is David needing to confine Pip with an electric fence? Little wonder he's having to do her work. #TheArchers

I'm trying to understand precisely how #TheArchers can enrage me in such a short space of time. But David mithering on about dog walkers and tax avoidance, picking on Ben, bumbling old Leonard and Helen being uncharacteristically perceptive? Now I'm steaming.

I'm suffering Rochelle/Joy/sabotage action/group/cult/where are the bairns fatigue. I'm positive the denouement is going to be disappointing and unfulfilling. I need answers, and they had better be good! And Freddie has to be the hero, not the gormless fall guy. 🙏 #TheArchers

Things are shaping up nicely for a massive show down between Natasha and Helen over house rules. #TheArchers

What a shame neither Tom nor Natasha were seriously injured in the slippery floor incident. #TheArchers

Good to hear #TheArchers have a bit of debate about farmers & inheritance tax changes. Although if you wanted someone to properly undermine any sympathy for farmers, you'd definitely choose David as their spokesman.

@ambridgeolwen.bsky.social And he didn't pay inheritance tax ... It seems the Forestry Commission owns the most land in the UK. Anders Holch Povlsen is the biggest private land owner in the UK. Duke of Westminster is 10th. Only 140k acres ... #TheArchers www.theguardian.com/money/2016/a...

I'm hoping Dave has a coronary, and Roof has to pay IHT now #TheArchers

I feel for Joy. Her husband sounds as if he was a coercive controller and a supreme gaslighter. I would say Joy genuinely can't remember all the details of her breakdown. It sounds as if she was experiencing catatonia. Why didn't Rochelle seek help for her? She was 15. #TheArchers

www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025... What else did ANYONE think he and his billionaire mates were up to? Quick audit of family and friends bank accounts in order?

Poor old Clarrie. Feeling redundant: Not needed or useful. Superfluous. Sad times. (Bloody Helen). #TheArchers

"Someone with a grudge against Martyn Gibson" doesn't narrow the field much, does it? Has Cathy Perks come home recently? #TheArchers

"What are you knitting Clarrie?" "Oh, it's just a doll of Helen." #TheArchers

Memo to the Archers scriptwriters: NO ONE GIVES A TOSS ABOUT HELEN #TheArchers

And why on earth would Clarrie want to be "friends" with the hideous Helen? Friends don't sack you for being old. #TheArchers

Quite frankly I was delighted to hear the hideous Gibson wallowing around his kitchen sobbing over his engineered wooden floor. #TheArchers

I'm scratching my head trying to think up with a more unlikely business plan that George could have come up with. Dressmaking? Fashion modelling? Live caricature drawing? Child minding? #TheArchers

So, given Rochelle is (potentially) an Animal Rights Activist, is it possible that Carpet Burns is undercover infiltrating her "group" and will spring into action to save the day? #TheArchers

What have we learned from this episode? Bridge is played by grumpy old people. Brine has still got it in the lying through his teeth department. Eddie is childishly avoidant of reality. George is up to something (obviously). Clarrie is suicidal. Trees are dangerous. #TheArchers

Rochelle definitely sounds like an undercover investigator into animal welfare at Casey Meats. There was a lot of lulling of Vince going on there. #TheArchers

Fallon: You mustn't work for nothing Clarrie, you're worth more than that. (Not to me obviously because you're well old). Clarrie: Let me martyr myself as a slave for George instead then. #TheArchers

Lord save us from Eddie doing anything that requires honesty and accuracy. Does he think Jolene and Lilian are COMPLETELY stupid? They do KNOW Clarrie. #TheArchers

Freddie: Don't worry Rex - no one will find out you're being paid! A nano second later ... Jolene: Is that Freddie? Are you talking about the cricket team - what won't we find out? #TheArchers

Clarrie? As a bit of a hint .. #TheArchers #TheArchersBookClub

Currently theory Part 2 Rochelle is unable to parent her child as a result of her mental illness. Their father has custody, R has supervised access and Joy was trusted to supervise but R persuaded J to let her do something risky with the children and now J isn't allowed contact. #TheArchers

Here's my current J&R theory. R was abused by dad, J either disbelieved her report or found out in a traumatic way and through shock or guilt had a psychotic breakdown and was detained for treatment. R was"looked after" by the state but ran off and went home to set up party central #TheArchers

Helen is an odious cow. I absolutely loathe her. I hope she gets taken to the employment tribunal and forced to reveal her interview scoring. #TheArchers

Wait. "No-one blames Bridge Farm"? Are they all INSANE? Whatever they are serving at the Bull they need to check it for neurotoxins. #TheArchers

Hmm. I've always had time for Joy up to now. But that "tell all" doesn't ring true. Too much glossed over or not mentioned. Of course Rochelle's challenges aren't Joy's to share but they will obviously impact Mick at some point in the future if all they live together. #TheArchers

Helen has never thought about anyone other than herself her entire life. She boils my blood. She doesn't deserve such excellent staff. She's completely betrayed their loyalty to her (and Bridge Farm) over decades of toil. Hideous woman. #TheArchers

How has Clarrie remained so principled and loyal given the family she married into? #TheArchers

I don't understand why it took so long for Kirsty to say she wasn't dropping the house price and for Natasha to cave in. I'm still not convinced that the mortgage offer will stand given the sewage situation. Surely there will be a revaluation survey? #TheArchers

Tom bemoaning the prospect of having to pay a mortgage is hysterical. Did he think the Ambridge property fairy was going to pay? #TheArchers

With the Montys at risk of being sold off now would be an excellent time for Johnny to return with a brilliant idea for saving the farm! #TheArchers

What's happened with Kirsty's house sale/purchase? Has the tea room gone bust? What about Neil's mum ffs?? The robohoover incident? The Gills return? The beavers? Bloody Rochelle? Fallon's new menu. Undercover Burns? Too many loose ends on #TheArchers atm.

What a peculiar episode this evening. I think Pat and Helen have gone clinically insane. Neil has gone to live in a parallel universe. And Emmur and Clarrie are in cloud cuckoo land. Where is all this nonsense going? #TheArchers

@sentimentbot.bsky.social go on then

Listening to Helen telling Clarrie and Susan that they needed to be interviewed for a new job DEFINITELY means they are BOTH due redundancy payments. Their current jobs will cease to exist. Firing and rehiring. And trying to scare them out of interviewing? Despicable behaviour!! #TheArchers

Just when you think Helen can't get any worse, off she sinks to even greater depths of unpleasantness. Bridge Farm is doomed. #TheArchers

This cheese being unsaleable because of the sewage flood seems rather a stretched storyline to me. The teashop being affected I can understand, but the dairy? Surely they were selling the cheese beyond the bypass? #TheArchers

Hmm. Emmur is worryingly over excited by her contact with incarcerated offspring. We all know it's going to be the beginning of George's revenge. #TheArchers

Oh dear, George's education in prison seems to be taking him to a new level of obnoxious. Although on the plus side, he appears to be reviving Joe's tradition of helpfully naming characters ("he's alright Henry Archer"). #TheArchers

I'm trying to imagine why the blooming heck I would ever go to a tearoom on a farm (recently flooded by sewage or not) to eat pancakes or watch other people compete with each other to over eat ... No amount of Brad's drone footage would induce me. #TheArchers

Like have a whose mum can eat the most cake competion #TheArchers