Fun fact: North Carolina still hasn’t recovered from hurricane Helene, and Trump wants $2 billion to give people who smeared shit on the walls of the Capitol.

BREAKING: Mitch McConnell just slammed the Trump slush fund: "So the nation's top law enforcement official is asking for a slush fund to pay people who assault cops? Utterly stupid, morally wrong – Take your pick."

I didn’t have a GOP riot over Trump’s grifting fund on my bingo card. Turns out there is a line. Who knew?

This is what I’ve been talking about - the IC assesses that Iran could have a fully reconstituted drone program in 6 months. They still have 60-70% of their missiles and launchers. This war accomplished little, and it taught Iran they can close the Strait anytime they want.

I eats gwass Den run awound I chase da Fig I dig da gwound I pounce a bug Eat gwass sum mor I climes da twee Den loudly RAWRR!! #CheddarPoetry #OutsideWilds #OutsideWessles #NummyGwass #IHasHappy

👀👀👀👀

So now we’ve gone from “make a deal and end the war or I’ll blow you to hell” to “please sign this letter to think about maybe ending the war in the next 30 days” How embarrassing.

Yeah, it’s probably just a coincidence that Blanche represented Paul Manafort, Rudy Giuliani, Boris Epshteyn, Michael Cohen, and Donald Trump. He’s just a guy trying to do the right thing without regard to party, as long as you’re a Republican.

In da gwass A bug I spy I gos up close And tells him hai But my new fwend He be all shy He twies to hide I not shur why I piks him up In tum he stay I lets him noe It be ok #CheddarPoetry #BugFwend #IDiggyHimOutFwomGwass #HeSafeInTummy #FiggyComeToSeeBugFwend #HeSingBugSong

Half the GOP is saying Israel rigged the vote against Massie and the other half is celebrating the fact that the guy who wants to hold pedophiles accountable lost. Totally normal party.

Trump has apparently created his own drug distribution center through the federal government. What could possibly go wrong… www.reuters.com/business/hea...

🎀🎀

Silly Fig finds paypurr bag He climes in kwik to hide Good fing I maked shur it safe Befor he went inside Peeking out, wif happys big He finks no one can see Den he twies to gib a skare By jumping out at me #CheddarPoetry #SillyFiggy #HeNotSkareMe #WeRaceToTweeAfter #IWin

Just unbelievable corruption. He said he would drain the swamp, instead he brought in the swampiest administration in history, declared himself Supreme Emperor of Swampopia, and ordered his justice department to essentially give his entirely family immunity.

The grifter in Chief

Watching GOP influencers turn against their MAGA heroes (because their MAGA heroes are realizing that Trump is a fraud) will never not be hilarious to me. Zero actual positions on anything. Just whatever Trump wants.

What a stupid thing to tweet. “I’ve been asked to hold off on our military attack of Iran, which was scheduled for tomorrow” I’m very skeptical that any serious negotiations are actually happening.

Trump released the largest weekly strategic reserve distribution in history last week - almost 10 million barrels. Oil is still over $100 a barrel and gas is at record seasonal highs. This is gonna get ugly if it’s not resolved soon.

Nappy time! I sit and wait Ware mama be? She be lots late! I ses come now! But she not stay She pat my hed Den walks away Alone, I pout She lissen not I kurls up sad In nappy spot #CheddarPoetry #NappyTime #NappySpot #MamaNotLissen #SadEyesNotWerk #NoFair #INapsAloneAndHasSad

D+11 on a generic ballot probably looks something like 40 seats gained in the House - IF we don’t get complacent. Have you registered to vote yet? Have you double checked to make sure you’re still registered? Do you have any documentation you need to vote? Start planning now.

It’s really wild watching people on social media pretend like this administration isn’t a complete dumpster fire. Polls in the 20s in battleground states? Fake news! Record disapproval on the economy? Fake poll! Record disapproval on healthcare? Dem hoax!

I hunts Fig And Fig hunts me He twies to hide But him I see I wiggle bum And he dos too But wen I pounce He run and mew #CheddarPoetry #SillyFiggy #IWin #FiggyGoedOnRoof #CawCawsYelledAtHim #SoHeClimeBakDown

It’s really hard to describe how insane this story is. Of course Patel went snorkeling over the USS Arizona - that’s what happens when you put an irreverent internet troll in charge of a government agency. Disrespectful assclown.

Buttigieg on Duffy: "I love roadtrips. I love America. I actually took a taxpayer-funded roadtrip lasted about 7 months. It was in Afghanistan. This is something very different. To make roadtrips unaffordable & then go around celebrating your own roadtrip is actually why people are frustrated about"

I is fearse and on pawtrols Wile Figgy, in da gwass, go rolls He wach me close as I walks by He hides in gwass, or so he twy I noes he dere, but I ignor Da mama's ware I hedding for Da Fig weach out, he wants to play But I not stop, I walks away #CheddarPoetry #IHasMisshin

JFC 🤦‍♂️

I walked too close to Socky And she smakked me on da hed I had didded nuffing And she twied to make me ded! She got mad, she hiss and growl And I dos not noe why I be good and innysent I jus was walking by #CheddarPoetry #SockyHitMeHardTwoTimes #NotNice #INotHitBak #IBeGoodBoy

This frequently happens in China. During Trump’s first term, they tried to block the aide who carries the football from entering the room. During one of Obama’s terms, they scuffled over armed USSS agents and press movement.

People seem legitimately surprised that Trump is using his tweets to pump stock he owns and buying or selling based off of confidential information he receives as POTUS. Grifting is his entire personality. Why is anyone shocked?

Xi: America is declining as a world power Trump: HE MEANT UNDER SLEEPY JOE!! No, you assclown - he meant because you’re intentionally isolating the US on the world stage and GIVING our influence away.

Trump is negotiating to settle his lawsuit against his own IRS, and one of the remedies being floated (along with almost 2 billion dollars) is the IRS dropping all audits of Trump, his family, and his businesses. Just absolutely staggering corruption.

Figgy kissy Figgy sniff He comes up close To hab a wiff But no be skared Cuz he be small He jus a baby Soft and all #CheddarPoetry #FiggyKissy #FiggySniffy #SillyFiggyJusLiddleAndAllBaby #HeNotBites #HeNotFurroshis

The GOP is doing that thing again where they pretend the JCPOA (Obama nuclear deal) wasn’t working, despite our intelligence community, the IAEA, and our allies all confirming that it was. And the fact that all Iran’s significant enrichment happened after Trump pulled out. 🤷‍♂️

MAGA is currently celebrating the fact that… Trump took a sip of alcohol, and acting like he just cured world hunger. It’s a fucking cult.

NEWS: Trump-China summit falters before it begins—China offers no concessions. Trump launches FBI payback squad to go after opponents. Data center leaves thousands without power. Vance suspends billions in Medicaid payments. And much more. I have the latest. Subscribe to support:

But never mind the Epstein-class pedophiles who raped children and exchanged wink-wink inside-The Club jokes about it. Do I have that right?

Tell me you don’t know what ODNI is without telling me… You think CIA can just go steal documents from the Director of National Intelligence? 🤣🤣🤣

Warryers All big and fearse Wif sharpy claws And teef dat peerse Dey still needs luv And cuddles warm So dey can keeps Yoo safe fwom harm #CheddarPoetry #FearseNinjaWarryer #ZombeeDedder #CuddlesImportint #RAWRRRRRRR

rare moment of absolute honesty from Trump He doesn’t care about the struggles of everyday Americans.

Badness fills da silly fig He runs to puppy's yard to dig Da mama sees, he gets da skoop Befor he eben makes a poop #CheddarPoetry #BadFiggy #SillyFiggy #DiggyFiggy #MamaToldHimNoPoopyDere #SheSedGostWillHawntHimIfHeDos

Any questions about why the GOP is desperately trying to cheat before the midterms?

Another dental visit, huh? It’s just getting comical at this point. They can’t even keep the lies straight.

I’m feeling pretty good today, got my doctor-recommended 7 hours of blinking last night