Yall motherfuckers better fund The Harbingers because I will be furious if I don’t get to see this live when I move back to NYC

The timing of this is too good for it to be real oh my god

Arrested Development ass administration.

If Rico Lewis leaves nobody talk to me for a week, I don’t care about stats or contributions that is MY SON

I genuinely don’t know what Arsenal fans want from this exchange, people keep messaging me “now who must be humble” but you are literally comparing a team that won one league since two years BEFORE THE INVENTION OF THE IPHONE and one team who has won it four times in a row like two years ago

Whose going to be the first to go to the bronx IHOP and try the oxtail omelette I need feedback

I’m gonna be honest For all Mankind seems like a white people show but I’m trusting y’all who say it’s good

At least I get something from today damn

KNICKS

Welp. You can’t win em all. But you CAN win most of em! Well done, Arsenal. Best team always wins the league👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Honestly I kind of get it, these players are still exhausted from an FA cup final like 3 days ago

What’s taking so long can y’all sub Gundogan on already

Hopefully, when Pep's finally gone, we can start to enjoy ourselves again.

It’s almost certainly academic but I’d at least like to take it to the final day of the season, especially if Guardiola’s leaving

The perfect lock screen 👕👩🏽‍🦱🏆

Okay so when you say “can’t beat this”, are you just not getting the double meaning there or…

The result of AI boosters getting booed at commencement will NOT be them getting a wake-up call about AI skepticism. They will just stop speaking at commencements. But that’s a small win!

Bunny said price of the brick going UP

I’ve been scared to say this for years. All the joy I’ve experienced has made my life outside of City difficult. Food taste bland, the sky is less blue, and I wonder what’s the point

ESPN MISSED THE TROPHY LIFT BECAUSE OF THE COMMERCIALS FUCK OFF

obvious pivot to neo soul

Oh right, we're in Hudson News now! Supplement your $7 bottle of water with The Onion.

NOBODY KNOWS HOW TO GET THE TOP BACK ON THE FA CUP LMAOOOOK

Pep with Cherki is like a parent who yells at you and then comes back later like ACTUALLY I WASNT DONE

FA CUP WINNERS

Marc Guehi turned and Pedro did his own Khusanov slide damn

This is so cool

Is the Chelsea tactical plan just to beg for penalties

I LOVE SEMENYO JUST THE WAY YOU ARE

Man City are your 2025/26 WSL Champions

True but also Bournemouth is so close it might be necessary to leave him out

Chelsea defenders gonna see Cherki coming on at 70 minutes and thanos snap themselves

🗣️ PAY BUNNY SHAW @mancity.com

Evergreen

i’ve been thinking of what could even be said about such a tragedy. someone said it best that trans people are “born so late and die so young”. we uproot our lives and transition and live more life than anyone else ever does and society punishes us for it. we deserve better

important Sports Statistic from this newsletter

It’s a shame cause I think Rob Stone is probably alright, idk why I’ve always liked the “45 down, 45 to go” thing but the moment i hear Alexi Lalas’s voice I want to backflip off a bridge

SILKSONG IS FINALLY, MERCIFULLY COMPLETE

Why I play the tag “This is culturally inappropriate” at the beginning of every episode

I’m sick of these people who follow me and then I go to their profile and see a cool looking game and now I gotta buy it can everyone please stop doing that

Man I would love to start Disco Elysium but I can’t do that until Silksong ends and I keep dying right at the end of the fucking game

Then FUCKIN PAY HER FOR AS LONG AS SHE WANTS ALREADY!

I genuinely never know how he’s going to celebrate a goal and I love that about him

Oh my god I love that whole sequence I don’t care that we didn’t score look at my club actually playing entertaining football

I need this we need this

A Savinho goal, an absolute miracle

Nice.

Phil Foden absolutely killing it rn

How on earth did Marmoush get that in