repost this perfectly flat bud heavy can and you will be blessed with fortunes heretofore untold

i wrote about wuthering heights, the classic-lit-turned-teen-movie pipeline, and why it's cool to judge a film for what it *actually* is and what it's *actually* trying to be... and not what it's not!

Everyone wish @wolfmanzack.bsky.social a happy birthday or I'll be mean to you!!!

Today started with me falling on black ice (I'm physically okay just bruised) and went downhill from there!!!

The way Godzilla cocks his arms in Godzilla vs. Megalon is like Henry Cavill in Mission: Impossible - Fallout.

The pod goop in The Matrix is my fave movie goop.

I absolutely love being on a podcast I’m not actually on. I’m serious. Please talk about me on every podcast you do. 🥰

My roommate cleaned off my car 😭

Megalon is a Tuvix of Bender and Zoidburg.

they call him “stephen root” because i’m always “root”ing for him to show up in whatever im watching

🇺🇸 🏒 🥇

I watched part of the hockey game and it was a lot of fun.

Trying to figure out how Gigan would eat.

it genuinely makes me laugh how much the pope clearly hates JD Vance. “I’m sure I’ll look at it at some point” is funny as fuck

I could really use a good cry.

Rolled the dice and had espresso at 6:45pm.

I love that Kermit is always Fozzie's passenger princess.

What is your ideal #taskmaster x #muppets crossover?

Peak hotness.

Watching The Godfather and getting emotional seeing Robert Duvall, James Caan, and Diane Keaton.

Thanks to Tim Curry in MUPPET TREASURE ISLAND after being in THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW with Patricia Quinn, the Muppets are only two degrees away from I, CLAUDIUS. Or shorter if you count this: www.youtube.com/watch?v=WvvI...

🎶 I think I’m gonna die in this house 🎶 Letting Charli haunt me.

I might be having a religious experience listening to Everybody Scream for the millionth time.

I’ve somehow read 35 books so far this year. If I didn’t leave the house for work no one would ever see me again.

VICE

😏😏😏

What if we got married and had The Witcher III: The Wild Hunt score playing at the reception?

Sorry to get radical but I don’t think it’s my job or yours to embrace, accept, understand - and certainly not to use - the thing being sold to us as AI. I don’t like any part of it, so I won’t. I’m missing out? Good, that’s what I want. You’re worried about me missing out? That’s fuckin weird, man.

Istg this one romance series I read someone has green eyes in every book.

DO YOU SUPPORT MOVIEJAWN ON PATREON? Right now we have a ticket 🎟️ giveaway in partnership with @warnerbrospictures.bsky.social & @fandango.com for a chance to win TWO IMAX TICKETS to see #TheBrideMovie anywhere in the US. JOIN OUR PATREON at the $5 tier TO BE ELIGIBLE: www.patreon.com/c/moviejawn

DEMOCRATIC NATIONAL POLITICIAN: We used to have real presidents [video of literal satan saying he’s going to give a tax cut to people who bomb children]

Been slowly watching Peacemaker S1 with @lozymandias.bsky.social and we're completely obsessed with the theme and title sequence.

The book I’m reading is literally insane with like 4 different epilogues. It’s deranged. I love it.

🎶 You reduce me to cosmic tears 🎶

What kind of music do you think Bond likes?

I just got into bed and remembered I changed my sheets earlier today. It’s clean sheet day!

rosie perez deserved an oscar for it could happen to you

🎶 I think I’m gonna die in this house 🎶 Letting Charli haunt me.

Decaf coffee is against my religion.

Do Klingons have two vaginas?

Hot take: “Wuthering Heights” was good.

My latest newsletter is out, all about how it’s time to unplug. Read it here: vast-designs.beehiiv.com/p/breaking-t...

I may be able to finish reading Wuthering Heights before seeing the film tomorrow. I’ve been reading hockey romance nonstop all year and basically yelled at myself to take a break to finish.

Definitely Donald Fagan of Steely Dan and a couple football players, but TIL one of the Red Scare peeps graduated with my sister.

that's a Gentlethem's dinner if I did ever see one

Just ate a baked potato like I would a soft pretzel. Is this what girl dinner is supposed to be?

Sejanus in I, Claudius is Mirror Universe Picard.

Too many folks dying of colorectal cancer. It’s so fucking scary.