What’s a nice inexpensive “congratu-dolences on the abortion” gift for a coworker? 🤔

Thought he was still in jail

Beyonce is performing in stilettos again. She’s ready!

HIT EM WITH THE SHOULDERS LIL WHITE BABY

Living next door to an ominous empty lot that slowly transitions into a car lot with nothing but Tesla cybertrucks was….. psychological warfare.

Is it a unique black experience to have a random conversation with a person only to quickly discover that you’re cousins? I feel like it is.

I just heard an old H. E. R. song that triggered some pre-covid memories. And it hit me how sad I was during that time period. I never realized it.

I never let myself feel sadness. It’s exhausting.

Lime Marg Cutwater is the most tolerable. The rest are a gamble and a test of what you're willing to sacrifice for the sake of getting drunk.

the spicy version is 10x's worse

Working at a healthcare startup with an unspoken objective of saving the government Medicare dollars is so bleak.

This is irritating as fuck lmao

Beyonce loves to release content we’ve already been listening to unofficially for 10+ years. But I’ll take it.

My job is ethically terrible for society and I think I’m starting to ask the wrong questions in the group chat. Spooky times.

OH NO!!!! Who's gonna fuck these niggas up now?!?!

Saw a video of Michelle Obama saying nigga casually and it made my day.

Truthfully, for better and worse, the bird.

It’s like 80s pre crime bill NYC right now

Someone just brought up the instruction cassette tape that used to come in Just For Me perm boxes and wow what a memory.

Sloan is showing signs of hip dysplasia now and I’m so sad about it 😢

I haven’t found a bbq restaurant in Florida yet where I can buy brisket by the specific cut and I’m mad about it.

Just got a spur of the moment “all-company meeting” calendar invite for less than 30 minutes from now

Woke up and saw more ravaged trash bags. Baloo had a TIME last night lol

Caught our resident bear at it again.

I don’t like go-go music, but I respect it as a regional black-american music genre. And the select few go-go songs I like, I REALLY like.

My dislike for Lizzo and my dislike for go-go music has cancelled out and I think I’m interested in the newest song she’s been teasing 🤔🤔🤔

I just saw a theory that Ellie The Elephant is actually Syd Colson and I’d 1000% believe that.

I found a place that does beef bulgogi and carne asada fries. I can feel my BMI rising.

I thought adulthood would be exactly like this 😂

I caught a tiktok of someone at the corner store I used to frequent when I lived in Houston. They have upgraded their exotic snack selection since I left. I’m so envious.

That lady is on a press tour pretending to have a doctorate degree in the middle of graduation season. The exact season where everyone is proudly showing off their academic accolades. With proof.

Cheddar Bob the Builder.

I am Beyhive but not DeluluHive so I haven’t really been putting stock into the rumors and rumblings coming out of the Parkwood camp, but I would be excited if she starts the new era tonight.

fingers crossed

She takes every advantage of having a sickening body and I love that for her.

Do I make traditional Monday red beans and rice to celebrate 504 day today? Or make tacos to celebrate Cinco de Mayo tomorrow? I’m not doing both.

ok where’s Beyonce.

Yes! Give us Cindi Mayweather!

ok so is she paying homage to Beyonce Met Gala circa 2016? 🤔🤔🤔

Has Jason Derulo fallen down the Met Gala stairs yet?

*walk

Found this big ass feather on my wall. I’m keeping it.

I don’t care too much about what’s currently going on with Dominique Morgan potentially going back to jail because nothing about her or any of her videos would lead me to believe that she’s so morally above being a scammer. I don’t mean that in a shady way either.

Can I say something and y’all don’t get scared?

there’s being chronically online… and then there’s being chronically online on tiktok. Completely different beast.

You want the thick thighs pussy salad?

I like that me and team lead keep it extremely professional. Love it actually, but he’s late today and I really want to text and ask if he’s coming in at all. For the sole purpose of being able to cut all the office lights off and vibing out for the rest of the day.

I need to know the science behind me aways getting makeup on my white shirts. Always.

I remember wanting to be single so bad when I was on the way to being divorced the second time. I could not have guessed how uninterested I would be in having another romantic partner ever. Life comes at you fast.

I need to hear Beyonce and Durand harmonize on the same song and go obnoxious R&B run for obnoxious R&B run just once. On the impending album ideally.