If Khawaja opened, they probably would have lost. I love Uzzie but they needed Head out there.

Starc or Head MOTM?

Smith the villain scores the winning run 😆 #ashes

Not bad for a bloke with the worst haircut ever. #ashes

These four days of cricket have been intense! Especially given the match only started yesterday. #ashes

Head v Stokes 4 4 4 . 4 1 #ashes

Head showing England how to play Bazball. Bloody beautiful. #ashes

This is the one good use case for bazball. Annoying late wicket partnerships. #ashes

One of the many people involved in editing Politico stories should have questioned this headline just a little.

FML this tail is going to wag.

The length of time that DRS took was ridiculous. You just need to watch it in real time and you hear the snick. #ashes

It's England's match now. This is what happens when you don't start an Ashes test series in Brisbane. #ashes

Expert commentary in the channel 7 box suggests Australia might want an early wicket. So insightful. #ashes

Lyon goes, feebly poking at a fuller one. Can't blame a no. 10 bat for that. Pretty poor effort all round though, 40 runs short of a small total. #ashes

XKCD

This is hard enough to watch without James Brayshaw carrying on. #ashes

Imagine relying on Lyon and Boland to get you out of trouble #ashes

Have seen some unfair comments about Australian players giving their wickets away. The bowling has been good. But Carey really did give his up. That was a real brain snap moment. #ashes

When you gotta poop, you gotta poop. #ashes

Oh boy. This is bad. It's always a horrible feeling to see English cricket fans so happy. #ashes

😥

Head to the rescue yet again. #ashes

Here, Linda McMahon is played by Martin Short.

WTF is this government doing about inflation? I just paid $32 for two beers. What is this country coming to.

It's been a tough, shit year for us all. But hopefully at least Australia will win the Ashes. Right?

In 2025 America, it doesn't matter if you're a pedo or a sex trafficker or a rapist, as long as you're on team MAGA.

MAGA in 2016: Evil Democrats like Hillary are running a pedophile ring out of a pizza shop! This is proof all Dems are evil! MAGA in 2025: Sure, Trump and Epstein like young girls and did a bit of trafficking. So what? Don't be so prudish.

"Centrists" are all just conservatives who want the Dems to be a pre-MAGA Republican party.

Doesn't this just say everything about America today. If you're on the right team, it's assumed even pedophilia is fine.

I hope I never get to the stage of life where I am comfortable wearing a polo shirt tucked into pants.

Pictured: Trump asking the Saudi crown prince for advice on how to go about killing journalists.

How often are you all eating soup that we need special spoons for this purpose?

Vomit

If you're opposed to anti-fascist groups then you're probably fascists?

There's no way to misinterpret this stuff and even Fox knows it. Everything you could imagine in this hellish Epstein world is consistent with Trump's character as demonstrated through a long public life.

The worst thing about this is the terrible spelling and grammar. #epstein

In Trump's America, you can be arrested and held without cause, by a group of state sanctioned thugs, for simple dissension. But you get special protection for interfering with the Democratic election of the president.

The onion always knows how to say it best

Doctors don't want you to know this one weird trick that makes you a wicket-taking Ashes hero.

Haha graham richardson. Total dickhead.

Yeah, ok.

How about this guy

Curtis Sliwa, talk show host and the Republican candidate for MY Mayor got about 7% of the vote. Pissing myself laughing. So good.

#Mamdani!

Breaking news: old man needs to retire

Fascism can only rise and take hold when others are complicit. So much for Google's "don't be evil".

Christians everywhere should be denouncing this nonsense. Death is death, regardless of your religion. Where is the shock at what is happening in Sudan?

Eng have played horrible cricket in this series, which bodes well for the #ashes. But the worst thing about this England ODI team is these horrible shirts.

I am so sick of stupid headlines