Deducing that the murderer is your long lost twin #OddlySatisfying

Doing an experiment to see if smoking weed and taking a bath before work makes me show up late. I do this every day, and the office manager is going to be so proud of me.

permanent daylight savings doesn't go far enough

Yeah, man, idk. I think they changed the spelling to "jail" because they were tired of idiots misspelling it as "goal" *Benjamin Franklin staring at a half-eaten McRib* Ok, but where are the bones? What animal could this have been cut from?

Had a dream I shaved my beard off in an accident

ampersand? more like amperslammed into the fucking dumpster

I have to reduce organics in the mix for my silly autowatering succulent station prototype

whumping softly in the crepuscular minutes of the day

I think the most disappointing fictional creation I have ever come across is the idea of a magic bomb. Using magic to create an explosive? Just fucking bad. Go to Hell. You've made the world smaller, dumber, more brutish. Thanks. Fucking dipshit. Dweeb. Feckless little pissant.

i took the wock to Poland, Maine. it was a nice northeastern forest vacation. I love doing drugs in new places and also the splendor of nature.

god damn seeing "kackwurst" again brings me back to gradeschool German classes.

Sorry that was me.

I CANT TAKE A SHIT WHILE YOU GUYS ARE CHATTING RIGHT OUTSIDE THE STALL

I've killed the fewest innocent people possible.

Ah, Sam. Rest in peace.

sounds like the brain swap procedure didn't take.

want more weights and also to become more dense

thinking about enjoying some things, but how. how?!

don't forget,

Made tuna salad, test batch with crushed croutons as a breadcrumb went down so well. Now I got like a pound of delicious tuna salad.

This guy has strong af shoulders, those sickles can't be light.

Scale checking my filthy fucking wards. I should maybe just prune the badly leaning one back

ワールド名　浸水ランドリー By omurice1 vrchat.com/home/launch?... #VRChat_world紹介

A sick rave laundromat....

Giving that shit up, cross that off my bucking list.

this reminds me i saw a guy in a dress shirt, skinny jeans and these fucked up lil moccasin shoes get out of his suv and smush himself up against the side of it b/c he was getting out into active traffic

Gunnin for a shunnin

Got the disco talking bout bg3

The slapdash remains of a fuckface's handwork are unmistakable.

Do not send me an order at four thirty-five pm on a Friday demanding FedEx overnight shipment to deliver on Monday, you stupid fuck.

Going 2 the gross horsies store for my food.

Work, work.

Oh, that's a bit ominous.

Hm this may be becoming a toothache

Getting back to back ads for draft kings and a Muslim dating app feels very "which way, western man"

On a base-by-base casis.

The end goal of every biological organism is to be able to produce every phase of matter and so far Dragons are the ones closest to plasma so let's go cmon

I grew immune to my kill command after realizing I could imagine you saying it, screaming it in vain as I push those rotten grapes you call eyes backward into the spongey mass of your inferior brain.

More tiles and bricks survived this time thanks to the addition of grog.

pierce the lithium-ion battery in your mind

yes, I listened to a lot of American Football growing up. How do you think all of this *gesturing vaguely* got put into tragic slow-motion?

Developing a new opiate for the masses bc that's what Society needs.

Waukegan's Promenade

Too much integrity to use AI. I don't think Im the best writer in the world but I have enough faith in my understanding of the craft. Using generative ai is nothing short of an insult. Have more faith in yourself. It's your human right to be a bad writer.

Pivoting into making YouTube tutorials for caltrops

I've smashed both my knees and one elbow on the edges of my fucking desk today ouch fuckin yow

The existence of advice implies the existence of badvice.

"Demonstrably" is objectively the scariest word bc it essentially has "demon" and "monster" in it - just bad vibes all around

we gotta drive the monstah outta town