Well, that's kind of weird.

Your last name is Lawless, and you're one of the biggest assholes I've ever known.

Columbo in his first episode looks like a dog that's just come back from the groomer

Someone in Northbrook just told me he was in Chicago. No you're not.

Good email

Hank Schrader space invader

Current* conditions near Port Washington, WI:

At what tax bracket can I access the body hair character creator slider

How It Feels to Chew Malachor Five Gum

You fuck, you dip of shit. Nothing is ever solved. All things are only postponed.

my neck/shoulder hurts sooo much when i finally pop it good it's gonna crack so loudly that an earthquake will occur and finally wipe my foul shadow from this earth once and for all

gunking rn

Listen to this episode to learn about a book I purchased four years ago but have still yet to receive

my skeleton fucked up, my skeleton haunted by pain

wHAT

Sitting at my desk, splitting hairs

The Devil's in his doldrums and the Heavenly Father's in his cups. It behooves us now to take fate in our hands, hoist ourselves with our own stirrups

If Alan Moore hijacked the worlds nuclear missile supply and ended all life on earth it would be justified

Think I'm gonna get my hair cut this weekend. Think I'll try and catch these winds of change.

I'm midthirties posting by complaining that I slept too long on one shoulder and now Hell exists where my spine used to be

a farmer's almanac dies, a farmer's almanac continues

most of the famous battlebots are dead now

lots of things to be sad about the environment this rose in but I always love to blame Fandom.

Keep Trying #art

You lack worldliness, and for that reason, I adore you but also shut the fuck up.

Oh, that's snow.

🎶Did you have to, did you have to get it twisted 🎶

Whyyy is he LIKE that

Being told by your roommate that they want to move out is an unexpectedly sad occurrence, but if anyone wants to live in Chicago next April, hmu

Eating a bug in front of my roommate to assert dominance.

what's the cannibalism level of a catgirl wearing a tigerskin loincloth exactly.

Woke 2

hi, i'm Harold Angels. people love to hark me sing

Asking Sam Altman why chatgpt can't land planes repeatedly until Trump asks him.

introducing ‘xife’ as the preferred term for wives who are difficult, impossible or dangerous to perceive through conventional means

the most recent issue is customer A tells me they received a shipment intended for customer B with photos of the material clearly labelled as such. But my shipper has a clean proof of delivery, signed by someone from Customer B & they have not told me about any product or paperwork issues.

i have to be careful about sounding smart, else i build a deeper reputation for all sorts of effortful nonsense.

Lil hazy like a soap opera memory

Da twing

A plea for help. 🙏 One of the lead playtesters of Blue Prince, Iggy, has polycystic kidney disease and has only a few months to find a living kidney donor. His story, contact and donor information can all be found on iggyland.org Please help us in sharing his story and getting the word out.💙

My favorite guy is this dude who screams in the warehouse constantly.

Listen, buddy. I'm more confused than you are.

Loading solid-phase heat exchanging materials into the column of my water-cooled fume inhalation devices