My friends gave me enough notice (several years) that they were planning on having a baby, so I was able to make them a children's book about their cat going to look for them after they leave for the hospital to have their son.

Redwall themed spread a la @redwallfeasts.bsky.social

Reminder that your odds of being attacked by a turkey are higher than you might think, so it’s important to stay vigilant and eat those motherfuckers before they try to eat you #TurkeyAttackSurvivor (Happy Thanksgiving, pals!)

New harm reduction idea: a safe use site where suburban dads can deepfry a turkey supervised by medics and firemen

bumper sticker for @disquiet.bsky.social.

Tech bros, stop making plagiarism machines and instead develop an app that connects people like me (good at words) with grieving people who need pro bono help writing and proofreading obituaries for their loved ones. It would be such a nice thing to do for people having a hard time.

“Thousands of children, women and families chose this area because Israel claimed that it was a safe area.”

immortalized as his old lady's tampon, there is a happy ending

Which color do you associate with each genre of fiction? Asking for a genre reveal party.

Need to clean my desk

When a lighthouse dims its light, it's called "occulting" #TIL

According to Sam Bankman-Fried, Trad Widow is statistically more likely to be a great work of literature than Hamlet. Trust SBF. He has never been wrong. Read Trad Widow today.

Novels, like children, need 1000 hours outside #amediting

I was thinking that mounting the flashlight switch below the trigger deserves to be in some kind of Hall of Fame for terrible design. Then a pal said, "Forget about the switch. Think about it--they can only illuminate something by pointing a gun at it!"

Readers of my novel Trad Widow have told me "none of these words are in the Bible" Recent analysis reveals that 29.6% of the words in Trad Widow actually appear in the King James Bible

A fitting notification to get while reading Eliza Clark's Penance

I’m visiting the Lawrence Public Library and found what is possibly the strongest opener for any book ever

You can read the first two chapters of Trad Widow for free here: britta-slade.medium.com/trad-widow-b... Both ebook and paperback will be available for purchase this Wednesday!

pov you're a trad wife social media influencer whose trad husband has inconveniently turned up dead (I got a sneak peek at part of this and can confirm it's smart and demented and funny in the best way)

Trad Widow now available for preorder: www.amazon.com/dp/B0D2C1JBD...

Trying my hand at modern book promotion

Every time I read an article about publishing, I think about this picture.

hm, I feel like I was reading something recently about the horrific immorality of using a hospital as a military operating base

i believe in Show, Don't Tell (instead of telling people im mentall ill, i demonstrate it through my actions)

How can my novels be "formulaic" when I don't even know math?

A novella is 30 to 50 thousand feral words

I think it's funny when critics call a character "unlikeable". You have no idea who I'm capable of liking.