Just home school things 🥰🥰🥰

No it doesn’t, that’s you doing that

what the FUCK is my wide receiver doing throwing an interception, I—

finally, the single match up with my fellow eagles fan that I changed my team name for the whole season for :-)

dropout debut tonight 🙃🙃🙃

I think Sorry, Baby has topped Sinners as my movie of the year (so far) 10/10 no notes

how do you not give your partner all their bday presents early? asking for me

thank god the Eagles won bc I am getting absolutely railed in fantasy hahahahahahaha

who’s a bitch gotta fuck around here for birds game stream that’s not constantly buffering smh

did I WANT the baby pink signed Reneé Rapp vinyl? yes. did I NEED the baby pink signed Reneé Rapp vinyl? also yes.

*nodding and pointing upward sagely*

Happy Conor’s birthweek to you all :)

Actually, Aune, what Jeremy sent was hilarious.

my pitch for @semifunnyjake.bsky.social & Lindsay to visit us just bc there’s a direct SGF to LA flight & we have SDC season passes seems to have fallen flat, as flights happen to work both ways & they do have Disneyland season passes :/

under this language charlie kirk would not have been allowed to speak on clemson’s campus

We've got Gavin Newsom et al. eulogizing a version Charlie Kirk who did not exist, Trump et al. blaming his death on leftist violence that didnt happen, and the entire media apparatus denouncing Dems for dancing on his grave, something no Dems are doing. Has The Discourse ever felt more unmoored?

waited 37 minutes after my appointment time for a 7 minute visit I love psychiatrists 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

Jenny Slate not winning Supporting Actress for Dying for Sex is a robbery that I won’t be getting over any time soon

never forget that 9/11 cheerleading routine

yes, I stayed up til 3am to watch BB again… HOWEVER, I wrote all my mid-episode thoughts in the notes app instead of blasting the group chat with them at 3am, so…….. maybe I’m growing

mom & dad are home I’m locked in again

god damnit Jalen Carter (but also nice job fuck Dak)

Ryan just broke my class upon me at stand up comedy night & I fear that I have become a target 🥲

hope i don’t wake anyone up with my “fuuuuuuck youuuuu”s as I catch up on John Cena’s current WWE run

BEE BUM… BEE BUM… BEE BUM… (we’re picking 24 back up)

Good morning!!

trying to teach math to two children with a skill gap is so difficult, idk how public school teachers are supposed to manage 30

lmaoooo who could have foreseen that a Republican appointee in a Republican administration would sell out his life's work to protect Monsanto

damn must be so hard for leftist swifties to finally have to admit she is just another white billionaire hanging out with republicans :/

Hailey was trying to do the Peacemaker Season 1 dance along with the intro and hit me right in the glasses. She’ll learn this dance no matter how many men, women, and children she has to kill to do so.

dating Conor is fun bc sometimes you have to google the Crocodile Dundee runtime to time your lunch break if you want to see him 🥰

oh how I’ve missed you, locking in on the BB wall comp live stream until god only knows what hour 🥲🥲🥲

i’m back (on antidepressants) baby !!!!!!

the South Park ep was called Sermon on the ‘Mount, I—

Ozzy & Hulk Hogan in the same week….. anyone else a little worried about their dad?

add Tyler to the songs about eating pussy HOF

we have SIX weddings in the next nine months no one else propose yet I’m begging you

hey siri play I want to rock but do it in the autism way & not a punk rock way

Thank god I don’t have whatever disease causes the to need to take 200 pictures for Instagram anytime I’m do anythin. Praying for those affected by this illness 🙏

a kitten just outran me in the parking lot Conor has no clue just how close he was to being a father of two

I fucking hate this guy already thank god he walked in the house first now we just have to wait for the curse to hit

Katherine’s first sentence that she’s a raging feminist?????? #bb27

FLOATERS YOU BETTER GRAB A LIFE VEST

new Clipse album today and Richard & Jamie get married tomorrow ????? we are so #blessed

Conor came to his first fourth with my redneck family friends where he was promptly handed a blowtorch, a massive firework, and asked if he was ready to “blow some shit up” hahahahah y’all should have seen his FACE

you send ONE text meant for your boyfriend to your boss and suddenly the whole office is calling you pumpkin :-(

7am is entirely too early to try to understand the difference between mono-tube and twin-tube shocks… how did I get this job? I don’t know how to change a tire?

soooo does BB stan bluesky exist too oooooor

first thing I said when I woke up was “I love you I’m gonna shit my pants have a good day” so ya you could say I’m hungover