In the 2010s, the Icelandic tv station Channel 2 accidentally added subtitles from a gritty crime drama to an episode of Teletubbies. I have translated some of the highlights

As is so often the case, I'm about five years late, but I just started watching 'Industry' and it is quite good.

Most photos I have from 2016 were saved from Snapchat when I deleted that app many moons ago. Except, that is, for these. I borrowed my friend's camera for a trip to the zoo.

A little bit obsessed with the new song by the severely underra(yyy)ted Slayyyter. It's very Justice circa 2007: open.spotify.com/track/5rfOAR...

If you don’t want to read Edgar Allan Poe together by the fireplace whilst sharing a vintage bottle of Chenin Blanc and a basket of midnight croissants in a quaint château in the French countryside during a raging snowstorm, then please don’t tell me you’re “open to trying new things."

Chekhov's suds. It's over for Matt #TheTraitors

Obsessed with Harriet taking every opportunity to promote her books this episode #TheTraitors

Friends fear he's listening to 'Carrie & Lowell' again.

I haven't had a working fridge/freezer for a fortnight, so if you see me fetching picky-bits from a freezer-bag in a shady corner of my balcony, mind your business.

Mine is the river Medway. I can never remember if I'm a Kentish man or a man of Kent.

I won shots at a pub quiz - on a Monday! That's a terrible prize! I basically just won a hangover at the office tomorrow.

I'm such a child, but I can't read about a 'yellow snow warning' with a straight face.

Pigeons deserve more respect!

There is no lighting delicate enough, no lens vaseline'd enough, to make me post a direct comparison between myself in 2016 and myself now.

Back in my day we didn't need an AI gaming ghost we just typed triangle triangle x circle triangle square triangle x triangle circle x triangle square square square circle circle circle x square triangle triangle square square.

When you're playing music on shuffle and Enya comes on.

It feels like it's been Sunday three times this week. Normality will return soon, but so will the five day work week. Sad.

I thought I had avoided a hangover today. I was wrong.

I like that this statue outside the local shopping centre has accurately captured how I feel whenever I have to go to the local shopping centre.

Wow, Marty Supreme was far better than a ping pong period drama had any right to be.

Thank you to Spotify's algorithm for playing every yé-yé chanteuse of the 1960s for me after I put 'Contact' by Brigitte Bardot on. Every single song an 'I don't know what she's saying, but girl, I am living' moment.

Do you ever lie in bed at night thinking about the time Disney marketed a Lion King remake as "live action" even though it was all CGI and they didn't teach a single lion to talk?

Close friends stories on instagram are great, but have they considered introducing mortal enemies stories?

I fear if I wrote a food diary my entry for today could pass for The Very Hungry Caterpillar.

Wake Up Dead Man - a very good film. Was I slightly distracted by them pretending that obviously English church was in New York? Yes, but I'll give them grace.

The customary Christmas pet photo.

The Christmas chart is mystifying to me. Who is listening to Band Aid by choice?

Christmas is coming, so I have the flu, as is tradition.

Some photos of me I don't hate; or catfishing in four acts.

This looks ludicrous. (I'm in).

Drop a lawyer

In Berlin this weekend. I went and wandered up the Reichstag dome today.

Jetting off on holiday after work felt efficient when I booked the flight, but I obviously didn't think about having to get to the office in rush hour with luggage in tow, and now I'm full of regret.

It's December, which means I'm once again asking why 'December Will Be Magic Again' by Kate Bush is not on streaming.

Shout out to swimming for being the least objectionable form of exercise.

My payday falling on Black Friday feels like a recipe for disaster.

On the one hand, the web is a terrifying panopticon, but on the other hand, I just used the internet archive to find a long-deleted nut roast recipe, so maybe the panopticon has its perks.

“You’ll be visited by three spirits.” The three spirits:

Dog-spotting at the Scottish National Portrait Gallery.

I get what people are saying when they say Wuthering Heights is not a love story, but it is a story about love. A possessive, obsessive, grave-pilfering kind of love, sure, but we call Romeo and Juliet a love story and that is mostly about teenagers speaking in iambic pentameter and then dying.

The Secret Maps exhibit at The British Library is quite fun. Also the only exhibition I've been to with a Where's Wally? puzzle on display.

I think Vine may have been the first in a long list of social media platforms I was absolutely certain I was too old for, so the idea of a Vine Reboot makes me feel truly ancient.

I just finished 'Film Club', which was very charming. Lots of yearning, a bit of longing, some pining - all the good stuff.

Hi. It's me.

Lily Allen's always been a great songwriter but she really just went ahead and opened a vein on this album.

Hate when I switch the BBC on too early for The Traitors and end up being confronted with LinkedIn hell on Dragon's Den.

"If you've been affected by any of the issues raised in tonight's episode..."

Revisiting her back catalogue ahead of the new album and 'It's Not Me, It's You' and 'No Shame' are such good albums.

I am very bad at clubbing. You might not think that's a thing you can be bad at, but you'd be wrong. Why am I always in somebody's way?