CHICAGOOOOOOOO!!!!! The bears are good again!!!

Bird.

Wrong answers only, what is this?

Broke: "I listen to everything." Joke: "I like all music." Woke: "I'm polyjamorous."

Seen in Wrigleyville

Forgive me, Chicago, I was not aware of your game

I don’t usually do the whole “go check out my latest video” thing but this might be the most important thing I’ve ever posted:

If you watch the cow hoof videos on tiktok, you have a foot fetish. I don't make the rules

Still thinking about the line my friend dropped on me the other day: "It is a proud and storied American tradition to be intensely invested in one's own immigrant roots and to absolutely despise everyone who got off the boat even one minute after your people did."

"NOW YOU SEE ME" IS GETTING A THIRD INSTALLMENT?!?!? And after calling the last one "Now You See me 2" THIS ONE Is being titled Now you see me, Now you don't!?!!??! I'm going to have an absolute CRASHOUT over this. This trash movie series has me by the BALLS. I cannot wait.

They spoiled some of the new mega evolutions in Pokémon, and Mega Starmie is just...

Timeline break for fluff and nonsense: The James Gunn Superman is Great. Furthermore, it's what Superman fans have wanted this WHOLE time. A Superman who's more empathetic and Human. a Luthor who drops BARS. And if the justice gang doesn't get their own movie I will fucking RIOT.

Should you worry about getting hantavirus at your I.T. job? I hate it here...

Should I do an unboxing on stream tn?

Happy International Holiday October 3rd to all who celebrate~!❤️🎉❤️⏱️📖

Wasn't sure why this was supposed to be funny. Googled 56 in Japanese. That's a sensible chuckle right there.

I don't know much, but I do know I don't want to live in a place where authentic churros and horchata don't exist.

Idea for a shirt for creatives: ::sniff:: Who Arted?

Credit card stickers are millenial click bait, and im fully falling for it. Wanna guess my credit limit approximately?

Gf said that watching me talk to friends feels like she's watching Dropout TV, and I've never been so flattered in my whole life

Faeries can’t possibly be worse than our current reality. I’m about to go walk into a mushroom circle and scream out my whole government name.

Who here is not military but knows, for one reason or another, how to fly an F16, apache attack bird, or drive a Tiger II crank start?

I sing in the shower but, but I do a whole backstory. I'm a diva who uses professional equipment, so I grab my dick and say "mic check one, two!" so my sound guy gets good levels

Shelter told me she was a Dachshund/Spaniel Mix... Well fuck me I guess

How's your night goin?

His last words were, "Some deaths are necessary for us to have a 2nd amendment." ...like I know I shouldn't laugh, but...

I've turned into a person who sings songs to their dog that they can relate to. Today I sang Des-Paw-cito. Yesterday Wet Ass Puppy (it was rainy)

Me trying to get my dog to poop: Poop shoo-body doo, Poop shoo-body doo, Doo-doo Doo-doo doooooo

At the end of this video DM Babe Dolan as the grandma screams when the piano falls on her. I need someone to tell me that it doesn't sound like Tom Kenny doing a Spongebob scream, and that I'm being crazy. But I also need YOU to believe it when you say it to me.

I wish I took pictures of the GingerCrab Rangoon Stuffed Onigiri I made last night. I'm gonna have dreams about that food for days

Day 1 (2months old) --> Day 37. I'm afraid I accidentally rescued a large dog. They said she was part Dachshund! WTF is this?!

What's my Fantasy TTRPG dog whistle? The only caffeine I have in my house is Ghost or Monster

I wish I knew how to draw so I could make art of every one of my #ttrpg characters. I wish I knew how to make dice so I could give each of them their own set. I wish I knew how to compose music so I could make them each a private melody. Like bringing a piece of my mind into existence.

I farted before bed, and my puppy jumped a foot in the air. Startled half to death. This was 10 minutes ago, and I have not stopped laughing while apologizing to my poor angel

Halloween lands in a Friday this year. Friday the 31st. What's the opposite of Friday the 13th? Do we celebrate by making Halloween more colorful and bright? Ideas needed

Does your dog play dead? Without incentives?

Hehe, she dreamin she supa man

Language Arts is Yellow, Math is Red, Science is Green, and Social Studies is Blue or Purple. I will NOT be taking criticism at this time!

Swimsuit calendar soon

I was sad it didn't work out with scratch last week. His trainer said she'd end up taking him for herself since he's failed to function normally in 2 houses now. But I got convinced to try again, and so far, the exp. is a total 180. Meet Princess HotDog von Giardinera Chubbyfoot. HotDog for short.

Another episode is about misappropriating funds set aside for public education and wasting on Police funding. I'm shitting myself.

Y'all I am begging you to stop censoring words on social media. Just say fuck and shit. If you're really worried about children being scandalized to an 18+ Tag in yr profile

I support more border checkpoints... On the Indiana/Illinois border. Stay on your side of Gary.

Here's my tweet longer about @thenoirenigma.bsky.social . . . . . . . Happy birthday.

I'm not much of a writer, but is there maybe a NaNoReMo? I'm on a really infectious Sci-Fi/Fantasy spree and I want MORE. What's your favorite Sci-Fi/Fantasy book? (so far this yr: Dungeon Crawler Carl series, Murderbot (ASR), Red Rising, Bobiverse 1, 2, & 3, Project hail Mary, The Grim Guys)

Today marks the release of the Wonderfully Weird World of Gumball after a 6-7 year hiatus. I loved this show before but the first episode of the new season is a 25 minute long joke about eating the rich. I am riding this high for the rest of the morning.

Bluesky, add a grammar check to your site or people are going to find out that I am an iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiidiot. Please and thank you

Proper use of AI, replace ever umpire and referee in every sport ever