//

"I." And why did he have to stop then? Why was something always in the way? Especially when he needed to say it most? It wasn't the city, the crime, the web swinging. It was Peter. Just Peter. Like it always was. He froze, like the iced coffee he wished he could have given her. Instead-

Peter's heart skipped a beat then. The way her hair framed her face, red curls shaping every soft and angled feature, and the way her knuckles pressed against her cheek. The corner of his lips twinged at a smile, tugging whatever surprise, sorrow and worry away. Still, he felt... odd.

He didn't realize how cold the New York Winter was until she closed the window. Man. It was warm. And despite her place being new to him, it felt familiar. Peter offered her a boyish grin. "Hey, you look great in that ad, by the way- but I mean, that's old news!"

♇ᡣ𐭩 A CHARACTER WRITTEN IN A MIRROR IMAGE OF #𝓟𝓵𝓾𝓽𝓸 Minor and limitless lewd do not interact account. Will contain dead dove themes such as gore, abuse, self-hate, and other themes not suitable to minors. Mun is 27. Will contain semi-lewd themes; multi-ship w/ friends only.

There was something... off about all this, but he couldn't tell what. She looked - I mean, she looked amazing but when didn't she? She seemed fine. Not mad, not sad, not... not happy either. Was this what being Spider-Man did to the people he loved? Turned them into empty husks with nothing but-

// Peter Parker without romantic drama is like Mac without the cheese

(( dream team of rage bating ))

Peter's eyes sort of did that thing they usually did when he was in a room with her. The thing where they'd brighten, soften, and glance away. Just in case she caught him staring. He rubbed his neck nervously. "I- yeah. I just wasn't expecting-" ... "Properly? Um, can I get you a drink?"

"MJ?" He slid in through the skylight of his Chelsea Street apartment, crawling from the ceiling, dropping down. "When did you-?" ... Pulling off his mask. "I mean, it's been-"

Temp pinned Post earthbound Age:17 NO NSFW

@nomorehunting.bsky.social "You've been hit with the Spider-Succ. No. Hmmm . . ." She's not even focused on a potential game plan. She's too busy trying to figure out stupid innuendos to taunt their opponents with after downing them.💧

He'd do whatever it takes to save them. It wouldn't matter how many times he got knocked down, he'd get back up. Death? That's the easy way out. Peter Parker doesn't die. He struggles and struggles and struggles, every single day, until finally, the job's done. Thing is: it never is.

"Oh. No worries! Usually beautiful women don't scare me so much!" ... THWIP! "Err. Well, they do-! But they're usually trying to kill me! I guess, is what I'm trying to say!" Clearing his throat. "Whitney! Yes! Or do you want the Dolly Parton version? I can do both!"

"Whoa -!" Almost losing his grip, he shot a web way too late-! THWIP! "Oh! Uh, thanks! Do you, um - do you wanna hear more? I've got like- a whole jukebox in my frontal lobe!"

"I wanna stand with youuu on a mountain..." 🎶 "I wanna bathe with you in the seaaaa..." 🎶 ... Sigh. "I've gotta stop singing love songs when I'm swinging, man."

"I have a feeling things would be a lot worse if we just... *got rid of them*," he said, scratching his head. "But I mean, hey- at least you had a solution? I guess it's not exactly as easy as just *talking* to the folks in charge. Then again, I have Tony Stark on speed-dial." Scritch scritch.

"Actually, now that we're on the subject: have you ever noticed that Chainsaw Man and Chainsaw-Man have never been seen in the same room together? Like, ever? Makes you think, doesn't it? Right? Pull on *that* starter cord, why don'tcha."

"So, do they call it Chainsaw Man because he's literally a Chainsaw Man, or is it some- hidden allegory for something much deeper? Y'know, like how my name's Spider-Man? With a hyphen?"

"N-" Looking up from his hands and just. Wow. Just staring at him! "No, it's not about sex! Dude, you're a Raccoon, how do you even know about-" BIG SIGH. "The song is about INDUSTRIALIZATION, Rocket! How we're killing the Earth with concrete, cappuccinos and saxophone solos!"

kas joker 😈

“𝘞𝘦 𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘵𝘰𝘰𝘭 𝘢𝘵 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘢𝘭 𝘵𝘰 𝘥𝘰 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘫𝘰𝘣𝘴 - 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘋𝘦𝘷𝘪𝘭𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘍𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘴. 𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘮𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘮𝘪𝘦𝘴... 𝘸𝘦'𝘳𝘦 𝙤𝙣𝙡𝙮 𝘶𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮. 𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘯𝘰 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘰𝘧 𝘨𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘭𝘺 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘰𝘯𝘦.” #CSMRP #MVRP

"Are you sure that isn't your upper lip?" THWIP! He's already webbing up her hand! "Aht! Don't even think about it, Blue Man Group! Whenever you pull out a gun, a department store burns to a crisp! You can only whip it out in an Apple store, those guys are the REAL criminals!"

𝙋𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙘𝙚𝙨𝙨 𝙆𝙤𝙧𝙞𝙖𝙣𝙙’𝙧…. 𝘼𝙡𝙞𝙖𝙨 𝙎𝙏𝘼𝙍𝙁𝙄𝙍𝙀 ❤️+🔄? ⋅.˳˳.⋅ॱ˙ ˙ॱ⋅.˳ ⋅.˳˳.⋅ॱ˙ ˙ॱ⋅.˳ ⋅.˳˳.⋅ॱ˙ ˙ॱ⋅.˳ - MDNI - semi - mirrored lit - crossover and OC friendly

// oh shooore

"Ten minutes? Gee, you must be from outta town, lemme give you a hint! It rhymes with-" 🕷️⚡💭: Whoa! Spider-Sense, tingling! ... Whoa. That's a nice view- Sort of flabbergasted at this point, he realizes he totally forgot to move out of the way! ... Until a quick tug of his web pulls him away!

“There’s nothin’ I can’t fix!”

Burying his face into his hands. "Rocket... why did the Industrial Revolution have to go and screw everything up? What about the birds and the bees, dude?"

// will get to srs replies when I get the chance, I'm waiting for my wife at the nail salon so I figured it'd be a good time to crack on the timeline while I wait 🫶

😵‍💫 ... It's- It's only an inch, and no, I'm not insecure about it!

Oh man, don't say that. He's got a thing for cat and mouse! THWIP! "Now we're playing guessing games? Hey! I've got a way better riddle!" He flipped forward, webbing the side of a building to catapult! "Guess the prison sentence!"

Achoo! ... Whoa, I think I'm having an allergic reaction!

"Farmer, farmer... put away the DDT..." 🎶 Sobbing louder. "I don't care about spots on my apples... leave me the birds and the bees..." He's getting louder. "PLEAAAASE!" 🎶

"Two hearts? Hold on- dude. Did you meet Doctor Who?" Tapping his foot, holding his chin. Now he's in serious thought. "And- Daredevil doesn't kill people! Now I'll be the first to admit, it feels *really* good when you punch a guy like Shocker in the face, but-"

"They paved paradise... and put up a parking lot..." 🎶 Gentle sob.

... "H-Hey! Tarantula Junior! Get back here!" THWIP! Oh no she doesn't! Especially not after waving like that! That was WAY too cute!

"Yeah, they're super talented! Well, y'know minus the whole killing bad guys thing, I think they had a bit of that nineties grungy edge going on. I mean, in the CARTOON- they're nothing like-" ... "No, dude! He shreds humans!" ... "Um. Well maybe not mystical, but they've got aliens...?"

💭: Spider-Sense, tingling! 🕷️⚡ But from where-? ... [Looking up at the ceiling.] ... 💧

"Oh yeah! They paint the streets of New York with BLOOD..." he grunted dramatically, pretending to slash and whack the air. "But only the bad guys though! Y'know, the Foot Clan, Krang..." Lifting a hand like he had a claw. "SHING...! THE SHREDDER..."

Huh? Where the heck did she go?

"SMELL?" Clutching the side of the wall, thwipping a web at her gun. "I'm pretty sure that's the smell of burning home goods, appliances, and rollback prices! Look, I'm not a big fan of them either, but that's why I shop at Target! Explosions are a *little* much!"

"Well, yeah! Leonardo, Donatello, Raphael... and Michaelangelo!" ... "Well, they each use their own weapons... and they're trained by a rat."

"Theeeere sheeee goooes..." 🎶 THWIP! "There she goooooes agaaaain..."

Dude. I'm gonna THWIP you up too!

"I'm pretty sure he uses nunchakus, not brushes!"

Dude. I'm gonna THWIP you up!