I started drinking hot tea every night to help with my anxiety and rage. Now I’m anxious, angry, and addicted to Twinings Mango & Pineapple.

🎅🎄📺❤️

Happy October. I have a book out this month, which means my wife and kids are contractually obligated to refer to me as “Matthew Norman, the world’s greatest living novelist.”

If you’re reading this, you’re invited! Come hang out on October 14. Per my kids’ demands, there will be snacks.

Monday again. I dunno. It’s like we’re caught in some kinda loop.

That guy on the left caught me nature creeping. #birds 🪶 🐦 📸

Heads up, Baltimore. Leslie Gray Streeter and I are launching GRACE & HENRY’S HOLIDAY MOVIE MARATHON at the Ivy Bookshop, and you’re invited! See you there. 🎅🎄📺

I like to leave my daughter’s student driver sticker on the back of the car when I’m alone and just really let’r rip.

Your attention please: there’s a downed corgi in my kitchen.

When I was a kid I thought I’d grow up to have multiple Ferraris. I currently have zero Ferraris.

GRACE & HENRY’S HOLIDAY MOVIE MARATHON is just 70 days away. Preorder today wherever you buy books. 🎅 📺 🎄

Did you know that the Orioles are trying to hurt me specifically? ⚾️

I know we have bigger problems than this, but as a country we need to come together and figure out the difference between everyday and every day.

I’m not saying I’m the world’s greatest living novelist. I am, however, saying I’m the greatest living novelist currently in this Applebee’s. (I looked around to make sure.) #booksky 📚 💙

Does it count as “ Party Size” if I eat all the Doritos myself while doom scrolling?

I beat my daughter convincingly at mini golf tonight but I was totally cool about it and didn’t play the putter guitar or anything. ⛳️ 🎸

Who would’ve thought that Coldplay would be the ones to, briefly, save us?

Who else is spinning a little Genesis on a Friday after a few drinks? Anyone?

Maybe the caravan of migrants took the list. #hottake

I’m on a trip with my 15yo daughter and she keeps calling me bro. It’s sweet? Adorable? Insulting? I dunno.

A “Super Size Me”-like documentary but it’s just me eating açaí bowls with my daughters and rolling my eyes the whole time. “But isn’t it great, dad?!”

At dinner with my wife and daughters last night I floated the idea that perhaps Oasis has a moral obligation to be together based on all the joy they’re creating. Nobody responded. Then I realized my entire family was actively ignoring me. 🎸 #dadlife

People are always talking about going outside. Do they have any idea how many bugs are out there?

I watched the movie Sinners last night and it was so wild and exciting. I love when an artist just freaking goes for it.

They should have racecar shopping carts for adults.

I’ve reached that point of the summer where I’m made up entirely of bug bites. #summer

My Insta feed is all Oasis right now. 🎸

Good luck to all the dogs out there.

Honestly tho it’s nice to see billionaires finally catching a break. #politicalwriter

I’m in NYC for a Mets game but the game got postponed. What should I do instead? (I’m also accepting wrong answers.)

My wife just got visibly angry with me because I used too much of her “good” sunscreen.

I’ll be in NYC next week and I’m looking for a dinner recommendation. Red Lobster or Applebee’s?

Why is nobody talking about how the sun is attacking us? #news

Fun fact about me: I have never once typed “couch” without first typing and then deleting “coach.” #worldsgreatestlivingwriter

I always imagine him saying “Excccellent” over and over while he eats. #birds 🪶

Deal with it.

It’d be cool if precedented things started happening more.

Men’s Health should do a feature on dudes in their 40s who are just kinda mid. How do I do it? 3 half-assed workouts a week and I try to pump the brakes a little when it comes to chocolate chip cookies. #fitness

a nation on edge holds its breath as the former host of celebrity apprentice huddles with his advisors, the wrestlemania ceo and the former co-host of fox & friends weekends

GRACE & HENRY’S HOLIDAY MOVIE MARATHON will be out in four months, and I’m celebrating with an updated website that features my all-new author pic, G&H-inspired graphics, and a new MN Recommends section where I tell you about my favorite things. Check it out at thenormannation.com. 🎅 🎄 🎁 #booksky 📚💙

The neighborhood is getting ready for tomorrow

Dogs in airport always kinda look like they know they’re getting away with something.

The disparity btwn what’s actually happening in Los Angeles and the way it’s being mischaracterized is one of the biggest stress tests of modern media in recent memory. Botted socials, AI, old clips, declining literacy—it’s like seeing a broken emergency response system hit by a storm.

I never quite know how to feel when two awful people end up hating each other. Like, I agree with…both of you?

Happy #Pride from Charm City. 🏳️‍🌈

A bear has been spotted in the northern Baltimore suburbs a few times recently and now I’m probably going to have to write some damn novel about it. 🐻 📚 💙 #booksky

headline construction masterclass

Happy Saturday from me and this beer and Dua Lipa. 🍺 💃

I’ve found that often when I say “no worries” I actually mean “yes worries.”

Spending the weekend with Mr. Russo. #fridayreads #booksky 📚 💙