Damn, this list must have taken some compiling

Sunny afternoon in Lisbon, cabby with the window down blaring The Neverending Story

Four Seasons day remains my favourite day to have been a person on the internet

Sandwich Guy goes free - writing about his case a while back was one of the few enjoyable moments of the dystopia cycle www.patreon.com/posts/137813...

Get yourself an aloof wife to quietly steer your campaign

I look forward to those million people making good on their promise to flee New York City

These are the most pathetic losers in existence

Why would Eric Adams agree to a Ziwe interview?? Oh, she is going to eat that man alive

And like, it shouldn’t be *Teen Vogue’s* job to be the organ of record for rising fascism! It’s cool that they did it but them doing it solo is like leaving the defence of Portland to that one frog Major media has been hostilely occupied en masse, leaving only scraps

Legit, for the past couple of years Teen Vogue has been one of the very few remaining major titles to publish political commentary that clearly addressed the American cultural descent into madness. Invaluable for young readers, filing a gulf. No wonder it’s being squashed

In my experience, Louvre windows were always fucken easy to break in

The thing is, we forgot we were men. We thought we were gods. And that was our downfall

If I were reading Nixonland in a bar I’d be pretty annoyed if someone interrupted

Just quietly, I’m tipping that if a tattoo parlour in Croatia casually had a totenkopf on the wall for you to choose, they probably had some other shit on the wall too that would be a giveaway

I remember in Independence Day when the White House blew up, the whole cinema cheered, but now that it’s being done by a senile criminal with a bulldozer it doesn’t seem so cathartic

Even if you set aside the racial supremacism driving this, it’s insane in economic terms. Most people who claim unemployment benefits use that support on their way to becoming business owners or salaried taxpayers who collectively contribute far more than the initial cost. Investment, not expense.

Looking forward to successive administrations bulldozing then rebuilding the White House ballroom in perpetuity

Ok so, 1.5 miles is 2.4 kilometres - even I could run that in 14 minutes, and I have the athletic prowess of the Clydesdale from Red Dead Redemption

My new motto

Equifax should be how horses sent each other documents in the 90s

Radioactive shrimp are better than radiopassive shrimp

Chef Gruel has to be a Roald Dahl character, what the f

You know who I’m sick of? Astronauts. “The eagle has landed” “I’m on the moon”. Shut the fuck up

What if Shake Shack made shakshuka

cry havoc and let slip the frogs of war

They say if you give a man a fish, he’ll have one photo for his dating profile

20:53: “I can briefly accept this joint at the bar, I am an adult” 23:37: *putting whipped cream on granola because we’re out of yogurt*

RSVPTSD

Is it wrong to dip potato chips in Nutella

When staging protests, cumulative impact is rather the fucking point

Nancy Mace Windu

I am in fact begging people to signal more virtue. That would slightly raise the net global virtue

What odds that the bearded dude looking at his phone ordered delivery so he could get a sandwich and kidnap a rider at the same time? Cowboy-hat cosplay thugs.

So tell me what what you really really want I'll tell you what I want what I really want I wanna AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HAAKEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA̷͓̫̫͙͇͉͙̾̎̏̀̄̃͘͝Ą̴̪̩͖͚̃̑̅̈́͗̐͜ͅẠ̷͆A̶͇̘̯̓͗̇̍̍̂A̶͚͙̘̖̟̹̦̐̿̽̊͗Á̷̡̟̘͓͗͝À̶̡̳͎̥͚̑̌̑̍̀̋͊Ặ̵̺̩̰̈́͌̆̇̀͜A̸̝͈͂̈́̽̈̋A̶̡̰͖̠̠̞̠͈͂̍̇̏͛̀̒̚Ą̷̡͕͈̘̠̺̤̆̂̾́̅̉́H̷͕̋̌̿̀̃͘̕̕H̶͕̳͒͜͝H̸͓̳̱͇͉̦͌͌̔͐̀͐̇Ĥ̶̢̼̖͉̣H̶̛͉͕̜͍̯͉̋̐͗̀̄͗H̸͈̙̬̎̕H̸̠̠̺̺̪͓͑H̵̠̦̟͓͙͖̥̊̓͑͑́̔͠H̴͎͈̭̟̫͚̠̊̓̓̍͑̂̽͝ͅ

Ah yes, Jesus never broke any Roman imperial laws, he was publicly executed for unrelated voluntary execution reasons

fair play if trump does unveil a magic bed that can cure all known illnesses I will have to hand it to him

Sending the military into Portland to sort out the line at Blue Star Donuts

For the people who think that fears were exaggerated, this is the US president telling US soldiers to shoot people in a US city if those people protest at government facilities.

me: i’d like to show off my arms clerk: okay me: and i want to look snazzy clerk: gotcha me: but also ward off vampires clerk: wait right here

Why yes, these tariffs on kitchen cabinetry are indeed for national security

The random price increases will continue until morale improves

Anyone who is pissed off at an escalator should hear what Eugene Tooms has to say

CHOTINER: Let's change the subject for a minute STEPHEN A. SMITH: This isn't about the Crab Rangoon business, is it? CHOTINER: Interesting you'd jump to that STEPHEN A. SMITH: To me, that's preposterous

They should do toxic male marketing but for lobotomies, I wanna get a dude lobotomy

Signaller Johnston’s Secret War, by Peter Pinney Autofictional account of his New Guinea service, nihilistic and still sometimes beautiful

This is truly hilarious. “People say I shouldn’t befriend notorious mass murderers, then I tell them that the mass murderer is socially pleasant to me, a person he is not incentivised to murder.”

A fit white dude with long hair and a beard just materialized right in front of me bathed in radiant light? Anyways I hit him pretty bad with my car

Pregnant women spend the entire time being told to feel scared or guilty about everything they’re doing, on top of the physical discomfort. So now the White House freaks want to frighten people off a mild, safe, affordable medicine that can make the difference on a hard day. Utter ghouls.

Tylenol is about to own the United States after they are through with these bozos in court holy shit.

Entirely bizarre for the Trump admin to pick a fight with probably the most widely used and generically trusted household medication in the world