Drinking a liquidiv while I eat beef jerky so it turns back into regular meat in my stomach

I tire of the American Century of Humiliation. When does the American Century of Piss Kink start

California Penis Kissing

The Legend of Zelda: Majoras Masc is this anything

one of us only lies and eat hot chip and the other only tells the truth and eat cold chip

Peter Frampton voice: Ooh, baby, I like it raw

do you think the dovahkiin knows a thu'um that makes you fucking cum yourself

Ronald James Deodorant

Is this the site with the good posts

JRR TallKing

I found it

Can someone confirm if Mythbusters called their blooper reels Mythblusters or should I just give up

Someone who isn't a bot tell me what stocks to buy so that I can profit off the horror that is a second trump term and at least use that to pay my mounting medical bills.

Oh that's gore. That's gore of my comfort vidal

Who up woke-ing their moralists

business up front, steakhouse: outback

The Cities In My Violent Dreams Are Always Blue Oils, rose petals, canvas board.

:tips fedora: M'nogamy

Sorta related, getting published is fucking hard. You've got to crawl, hat in hand, to agents and beg them to take a cut of your income forever so they can be the middleman to publishers (who also take a cut) neither of which did any of the writing or editing. Sigh, back to querytracker to try again

Neon Genesis Theevangelion Stallion

One of my hips only tells the truth while the other only lies

Is there a Mrs. Coffee?

Yes absolutely fuck AI art but this is also just a great list of artists to check out now.

For sale: baby shoes (dead baby)

can't spell the three wise men without semen

Remembering the time I quoted Dragonball in therapy and my therapist said to "tell me more about Vegeta"

cinephiles aren't allowed within 50ft of movie theaters

If you’re in line, stay in line. They have to let you cum

ACAB does NOT include the Ghostbusters

quiche is the goulash of pies

They/Them's Fightin' Words!

Of all the simple pleasures, the fact that the Incheon airport has a smoking section so I can suck my stupid fucking nicotine flashdrive for a few minutes is such a blessing

Customs Agent: Have you anything to declare? Foghorn Leghorn:

Imagining a Christian hardcore band calling for a "wall of life"

Uhm, nature called and said "take a shit"

My wife, she HATES Mondays...

nervously passing out flyers at the trumpet convention um, brochure?

I know there's probably no one on bsky that's gonna see this skeet and come because of it but my performance art piece Poetics is happening tmr. #art #performanceart #denver

it’s sad reading like 14th century Christian theologians who spent an inordinate amount of time writing “OK there are exactly 3,892 demons and these are their names and these are their powers”… man, you would have loved Dragonball Z

Something something cat & mouse

premature ejectulation

cat

"I usually don’t do this on the first date," I say, pushing two lobsters together and making sex noises

Forsooth the boys have returned, but has anyone stopped to ask where they were? What is it behind their eyes that betrays horrors shared in misty lands beyond the horizon? Why, god why are the boys back in town?

I tried to wear a tube top at the last show and it did this during the first song so I immediately gave up and played shirtless instead but this pic kinda goes hard

I need 700 dollars

If I have opened the door for you please do not insist that I go through the door first, I do not want this and it is very awkward and you are not being chivalrous, you are being difficult, thank you for listening

I feign offense at the whole "bisexuality is liking every woman and like 3 guys" but then I open tinder and it's like... wait

I hope the butch lesbian from The Producers (2005) is having a great day. I think about that little silent "sup" thing she does all the time