Not to say I'm better than Jesus but I've had a 3day comedown before and I didn't make a big deal over it

This bathbomb makes it look like I'm bathing in some horrendously acrid piss

Telegram has an AI assistant now so at least when you get a random DM from someone you can toss a coin to see whether it's a bot or if they're slopping at you

God I'm fucking ELATED What a launch

I still can't believe how Thomas Brodie-Sangster hasn't aged a single day in the last 20 years

I twisted my ankle so I've spent the entire day curled up on the couch and binged an entire season of GoT. This is fine.

When you went 4 ways on the pick up

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Black garlic infused butter 🫠 I might eat the entire block

Don't forget that OpenAI killed a whistleblower Burn. Burn to the ground.

i guess those celebrating soras death didnt get the memo that some of us need daily personalized greetings from james bond—for mental health

Listening to the Death Stranding soundtrack for my late shift to really get those "Hopeless, desolate, miserable" flavours locked in.

"Japan is really living in 2050" Insert reel of the most atrocious applications of single-use plastic you've ever seen

Lestat telling Louis he can crash for the night

brok insisted that we post this - dylan

Jesus, they weren’t bloody joking.

Years ago I promised myself when I owned a home I would get some work by my favourite artist. Then last month I saw some new prints by him but after visiting the gallery I ended up doing far more then planned. They just arrived. I'm now the proud owner of Fischer and Amythest by Robert Oxley

me trying to be normal on a work call after dropping two tabs of acid

They weren't kidding about how Mario Party can turn lovers to foes in a heartbeat were they

The people that follow me specifically for my Masked Singer content be like:

"Open the Strait of Hormuz. You may not receive the help of any other sovereign nation. Fastest wins."

my stupid stupid brain had to draw this

Gonna make people edge till they win on the telegram slot machine emoji

For his efforts, he was promoted to the role of deputy director

Lmao

The reaction from our volunteers in Manchester! 💚 It is time to join our movement of hope 👉 join.greenparty.org.uk/

WOKENESS IS BACK BABYYYYYY 💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚

This is usually what happens when I give up on resolving an issue to say "No concerns"

I just learned EXACTLY how old Nintendo is

THE WINNER

People who stand at the till and do their scratch cards fill me with rage

I'm gonna waterfall my drink if anybody mentions Kyell Gold while I'm watching the Superbowl

Reaching a new level of petty as I start making a complaint to the advertising standards authority

Getting off the train platform this morning and ticket inspector held his hand out to me and I just shook it I'm not smart

Yeah I'll give guided meditation a go .... .... This guy's voice is annoying

Deciding the engagement is off now since they don't like vinegar on their chips

Discord makes me look like a worse person than I am

I REQUIRE A TUG

Redownloaded RuneScape 3.. 🤣 Them binning off MTX is a huge gamble and if it pays off - could mean other games might consider the same. Fuck yeah I'll support that. Death to Pay-To-Win

Wa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pow! Wa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pow! Wa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pow!

drink some water one of you reading this hasn't had any for the past 3 hours

Not sure how any of our right wing can continue to worship him after those comments. If they still do, then they might as well burn poppies.

Hope my partner doesn't mind me singing in Creole in the shower because I just realised that's what I was doing

Crying in the server room is the tech equivalent of the walk in freezer