Hairbands: Simultaneously everywhere and nowhere at the same time. Seriously I must have purchased thousands of the little buggers and spend my days picking them off of surfaces but when I need one WHERE THE FUCK ARE THEY ALL HIDING? Do stay tuned for my next rant about disappearing hairbrushes.

I knew that jeans weather would be back one day... I just wasn't expecting it to be so soon 😭 Screw being able to wear the same jeans I did when I was 21 (and let's face it, the bottoms of those wiiiiide legs would be frayed up to the knees anyway)

Dulcolax, Hun x

Dear drinks companies, Being 'naturally caffeine free' is not something to boast about really, is it. If I wanted caffeine free, I would be drinking water rather than one step away from injecting coffee into my eyeballs. Think I'll stick with 'naturally shitloads of caffeine' for the time being.

Be sure to contact Derbyshire Police if you recognise him

Trump's complete nonsense about negative side effects of paracetamol while pregnant is making me livid; it's just another war on pregnant women. For what it's worth, my children are absolutely fine and I took loads of it when I was pregnant; how else are you meant to kill a hangover?!

What, those? They're my emotional support bottles of almost empty shampoo and conditioner. I'm afraid I won't be throwing them out.

It's a shame that there's nowhere which shows you how to spell it on the packaging

My kids made pancakes and tea this morning and this is it, isn't it - the golden 17 minute period of parenting when everything is Good.

Live your life in such a way that when you die, people won't be accused of mocking your death by simply posting quotes of things that you literally said.

They said it couldn't be done, but it was done. Even more chazza shop pictures squeezed in.

Fed up of soaring house prices? Have I got a solution!

I recently bought some oven cleaner. Do they think so little of me that they assume I'm going to get frustrated halfway through, smash it up and need a new one?

The what? ...."Pub"? Nope. Never heard of it.

It's really cool that I get an email every single time my child gets a house point at school. Because having four separate apps and a WhatsApp chat which seems to go on 24/7 just isn't enough admin for my liking.

Good morning, my little cauliflowers. It's my first school run of the new school year and it's very autumnal out there. My bosses has put a 9:30 teams meeting in every Monday morning which is lovely.

If you are a boomer and you have voted or will be voting Reform, can you explain to me how you think you're going to be able to afford medical insurance if you've never bought it before, considering how expensive it will be for people in your age bracket

Whilst not supporting tax avoidance or evasion, at some point, you just have to admit that people's hatred of Angela Rayner is just thinly veiled misogyny.

My daughter's new school has a parents' WhatsApp group and two days in I swear it is a better source of comedy than any parody. I am absolutely gutted that I can't share this shit with the wider world.

Racist nana: Poses question as some kind of gotcha *provides answer* Racists nana: I'm not reading that! It might go against my prejudices! I prefer to remain thick and racist ta

Would you like to win a Yoto mini? www.whingewhingewine.co.uk/are-we-nearl...

Nothing says 'I Love My Country' like spray painting a casually fly-tipped fridge freezer. Almost brings a tear of pride to my eye 🥲 ICYMI, I wrote a whole blog post on this nonsense: www.whingewhingewine.co.uk/why-paint-on...

Just submitted my tax return and so today is the one day a year I'm allowed to feel like hoarding my money. ALL MY LOVELY MONEY. GONE. TO THE BASTARD GOVERNMENT. Waaaaaah. Normal service dreaming of a socialist utopia will resume tomorrow.

I've also done my monthly round up - and this one is actually quite full of stuff. It's pretty much the equivalent of someone sitting you down and forcing you to look at their holiday pictures but in the comfort of your own home. www.whingewhingewine.co.uk/august-2025....

In case you missed it yesterday, I wrote a blog post about roundabouts and racists. www.whingewhingewine.co.uk/why-paint-on...

This was meant as a section in my monthly round up, but it kind of escalated. My bad! Why are you painting on roundabouts?! Contains lots of words, sorry, so probably not one for the Farage fan club. www.whingewhingewine.co.uk/why-paint-on...

Does anyone have a picture of a cross on a roundabout that I can use for a blog post? One they took themselves, I mean. TA!

Spotted in the local Chazza. Have they tried a wet week in a caravan in Weymouth?

Probably not the worst person for the job... At least she's unlikely to be arrested for sex offences

While I was on holiday with my family, my boyfriend let himself into my house (with permission, he has a key), took photos of himself posing in a towel in every room and left chocolate under my pillow. For various holiday related reasons it'll be a full 2 weeks between seeing him. I miss that idiot.

Reform voters! Enjoy the thrill of online debate, but fed up of being expected to provide facts, sources, or a coherent sentence? Pro tip! Simply shout TRIGGERED, and post a picture of Nigel Farage. Then masturbate furiously whilst whispering 'I win, I always win, I'm so clever' to yourself.

Mummy vs Daddy - The new comic book coming from my 6yr old nephew about my sister and brother in law hilariously falling out with violent consequences, being written on my lap in a Wetherspoons on a wet Wednesday in Weymouth. CC @jamiesmart.bsky.social

Spray painting roundabouts in the name of protecting women or children until someone disagrees with you then she's a stupid slag who deserves to be raped is one hell of a flex isn't it

Another night in a caravan in Weymouth... Ended up bunking in with my nephew who fell out of bed so often when I actually slept I dreamt of him falling out of bed.

Saw one of those roundabouts with a shit cross on in the wild and nearly cringed my vagina inside out

Off to spend a week in a caravan with eight people and a dog. Lucky for us it reckons it's going to rain all week. Can't wait 😍

Did he die yet? I just thought maybe...

Your nightly pupdate

My wallpaper stayed up 🎉

Some might say it's a bit too yellow, but I say knob off. *Adds wallpapering to my cv*

I can tell which people at work are secretly aware of my online presence because they refer to me as Fran - which isn't a name I've ever used at work.

Get a dog so they can sit on your feet when you pee

I've just woken up from a superb rude dream featuring one of you. Just thought you should know.

HD TV is really unnecessary for anything but Hollywood blockbusters. I don't need to see every wrinkle in the face of the bereaved parents in a true crime documentary. Who is that for?!

NEW POST - The 90s promised us flying cars, rom-com love stories and Manhattan loft apartments on a waitress’s wage. Turns out, it was all lies. Dammit. www.whingewhingewine.co.uk/the-90s-lied...

I ordered some wallpaper from b&q online. I got a call last night from Reading branch saying they didn't have any in stock and I'd have to go to Slough. I ordered it for delivery. Why does it matter where it comes from??

Paging @whingewhingewine.co.uk One for the hall of fame.

I just bought some wallpaper, so obviously my Facebook ads are all trying to sell me more wallpaper, which is the one thing I absolutely do not need right now having literally just bought some.

Totally hypothetical (😬) but if you saw a large Le Creuset pot (with lid) on the verge by your house would you ignore it, or would you got back with a bag for life and pick it up, tip out whatever ghastly contents were inside (possibly burned food. Could be human feces. Not entirely sure),