Mr. Bean. Duh.

Stefon: this ballroom has everything…

Amazon needs to cut it out with that “Advantage” bug during NBA games. It offers nothing. It doesn’t enhance the viewing. Also, every NBA team should get to punch Podziemski once a season.

priest: and so wise king solomon said “i will cut the baby in half” me: ohhh. i get it. baby was a worm priest: no it was a test me: risky test. what if he’s not a worm

The Weather Channel app is having a nervous breakdown.

Q: What does the Great War Pig do? A: Whatever He wants. The Pig does not answer to man’s law, unless we remember that, in fact, he does. With hooves of iron, He treads upon the earth, breathing pestilence and supping upon the blood of the innocent.

“Don’t do stupid. Stay off that crack. It is not good for you.” @michaelsteele.bsky.social

Love you pass. It on?

I heard they are going to start releasing recordings from Kilometers Davis.

4 WINS IN A ROW📸😤

Greg Gutfeld can only dream of being just half as funny as Mark Levin.

Dick Van Dyke

So, the answer to Republicans’ question “What is a woman?” is “the people Trump fires.

The war would be over by now if you IDIOTS would have bought more Black Rifle Coffee!

That speech was so dumb. Dumber than ever before. Nobody has ever heard such a dumb speech. Just tremendously dumb. Bigly dumb.

Pro-tip: When I find myself stuck while working on a puzzle, I ask myself, “What would Einstein do?”

I wish this wasn’t so prescient.

I’m so proud of my VCU Rams. Inspiring play. GO RAMS!!!

You guys have got to stop poking the Pillsbury Doughboy. It’s weird and gross. I thought we all agreed to this in the 90s.

I may or may not have a joke about Schrödinger.

Hemingway: No live mas.

Pro-tip: Never tell a psychiatrist you’ve thought about death. They will not let that shit go.

Existential dread? There’s an app for that.

My hatred for Brandon Podziemski is irrational but pure.

Don Jr. snorted it.

The boys want me to pay for it, but I don’t see why they shouldn’t just give me the beat.

I can’t quite put my finger on it, but I feel proud when Jordan Clarkson performs well.

Add a letter, ruin a song This Little Blight of Mine

Donald J Trump is the greatest US president of all time. By weight. Slovenly, amorphous, make-up caked weight. The dude is indisputably fat.

Monica McNutt and Tyler Murray on the Knicks TV broadcast! Merry Christmas to me!

I contain multitudes. And, by multitudes, I mean the different ways I’ve pronounced “oeuvre.”

Turns out lawlessness is not a winning strategy. See you at Nuremberg 2.0

Life-hack: Before a night of drinking, remove your kidneys and massage them for 40 minutes and gently replace them.

Then X urge to take 2 steps forward and then 2 steps back Also, RIP MC Scat Cat

This yahoo had a chance to lift up 4 other mimes and chose not to. A mimes is a terrible thing to waste. I am so sorry for my dumb post.

Allsup’s fried burritos. Duh.

What a comeback! Love these Knicks. Alvarado is stealing my heart.

Only when the Surf’s Up.

If he talks, he gets taken to the quarry.

I have no idea what she’s talking about.

Yakkety Sax?

Lou Reed’s Metal Machine Music

An easy way to tell the difference is fruit bats have seeds inside and vegetable bats don’t.

RFK Jr. killed both the testing and approval processes.

When reading the first few sentences, I thought “Oh, Bondi was once a good person. This administration really warped her.” As I read further, I said to myself, “Oh no. She’s always been a horrid, cruel person.” Broken people running our country.

In these trying times, take strength in these wise words from Bob Marley: “Bop shoo wah wah wah.”

I know this doesn’t make sense, but I keep picturing Adam Duritz singing this and laugh.

Did Bad Bunny toss paper towels into the crowd