My new album AGENT OF FARCE is now out! Full video will be on YouTube Feb 20! Bandcamp - burnthisrecords.bandcamp.com/album/agent-... Apple - music.apple.com/us/album/age... Spotify - open.spotify.com/album/6AG14d...

The government has urged forcasters not to use the word ICE in their winter predictions as to avoid accidental memes with I.C.E. To prevent this in the future Trump has announced a rebranding for later in the year. Expect H.E.A.T.S.T.R.O.K.E to be menacing local communities by June.

Hey everyone AGENT OF FARCE comes out next week and is available for pre order now! Pre orders all hit at once when the album drops - Fri Feb 6 - and that’s how small artists like me end up appearing on stuff like the iTunes top sellers! Any support is appreciated! tr.ee/sEIlvZj-tR

Everything flows downstream #standup

Bars should start asking if people want whiskey on the rocks or freedom style. No ICE.

My new special AGENT OF FARCE will be released on Friday Feb 6. Do you have a podcast or place I could promote it? If so drop me a line I’d love to get the word out. Here’s a clip that’s not from the album recording but does feature some msterial that made it on. #standup youtu.be/QTvWYy6_a5U?...

www.extra-life.org/participants... IT’S EXTRA LIFE GAME DAY! Join Joe and I in our 24 hour stream to raise money to buy games and gaming equipment for Pittsburgh Children’s Hospital! Check the link for the stream and to donate! Share this post if you see it please!

Hey wrestling nerds I was recently a guest on the Grit & Glitter podcast where we did a mock draft of the AEW women’s division as if we were creating our own AEW women’s tv show. I had an absolute blast and everyone picked great rosters. Check it out at gritglitterpod.podbean.com/e/the-aew-dr...

www.eventbrite.com/e/the-chippe... Catch me on this fantastic lineup tomorrow down in the strip district! #pittsburgh #standup #localcomedy

Trump has claimed he warned Pete Hegseth about Bin Laden one year before 9/11 and people are saying oh he has dementia and they couldn’t be more wrong. As a non consecutive two time POTUS Trump has access to Grover Cleveland’s Time Machine AND DID NOTHING TO STOP 9/11 other than tell a random drunk.

Fun fact comics working Mussolini’s comedy festival were paid in caster oil drink tickets.

So, so excited to be part of the Chipped Ham Comedy Jam this year! Don’t miss headliner Bailey Pope she’s hilarious and we’ve been on festivals together before. This will be a great show you don’t want to miss. Tickets are moving fast so get them now at www.eventbrite.com/e/the-chippe...

As someone who grew up in Lancaster county PA I promise you the Amish are not free of autism regardless of what the glorious leader and his court alchemist say. No neurotypical could plan a barn raising I promise you.

Ready for the rapture tomorrow like giphy.com/gifs/buffy-t...

I don’t think people should be shot and killed for their ideas. Hell I’m against the death penalty. However if some people could hurry up and die peacefully and naturally in bed surrounded by loved ones the world would be a much better place.

I don’t know where this rumor that the Rapture is happening on Tuesday night but I host a comedy open mic Tuesday nights so it’s reassuring to know I won’t miss anyone at the mic regardless.

It’s #nationalbatmanday so here’s the first joke off my 2019 stand up album Brains Are Weird which can be found all over the net. Keep an eye out for the follow up album FARCE later this year.

WE DID IT! Two 2nd place votes in the City Paper best of! I’d like to thank everyone who supported me and spread the misinformation that I’m the best local comedian and L2L is the best charity event. Despite all evidence to the contrary we stood together to deny facts like proper 2025 Americans!

Hey folks I just got to listen to the first cut of the FARCE recording and holy crap am I excited for when it releases. Big thanks to everyone who came and helped make it a successful recording.

Brian Kilmeade’s apology for saying the homeless and mentally ill should be forcibly put down has very strong Dennis Reynolds energy. “I i- i- i-i-i- I I just need you to see me as i-i-i- i- as I am. I need this. I need this from you. i-i-I...I need this from you, please.”

With everything going on in the wake of Kirk’s shooting I’ve been thinking about Vonnegut’s Mother Night. In the book a man goes undercover as a Nazi propagandist and is unfortunately very, very good at his job.

There was a little kid running down the hallway at the mall yelling “MY DAD IS A BOY MY DAD IS A BOY” I can’t believe how young these kids are being indoctrinated by an agenda…

posting.pghcitypaper.com/pittsburgh/B... Vote Funk! He’s been patched for the Y2K bug don’t worry.

Like this joke? Want more stuff like it? Buy tickets to my Sept 6 album recording at mrsmalls.com/events/zach-... Vote for me as best local comedian and Living to Laugh best charity event at posting.pghcitypaper.com/pittsburgh/B... #standup #standupcomedians #standupcomedy #pittsburgh

I’ve never liked the phrase “let Jesus take the wheel”. Son of God or not the man likely never operated a steering wheel controlled vehicle in his life. Or three days after his life for that matter.

posting.pghcitypaper.com/pittsburgh/B... If you’re not dreaming of voting Zach Funk best local comedian and living to laugh best charity event you’re not voting hard enough

I can't be the only one.

Faster than an eroding constitution, more powerful than a U-Haul… #DeanCain #Superman #ICE

Folks that know me know I’m not necessarily averse to change but once I find what works for me I tend to stick with it. Longtime friends can tell you I’ve had the same fashion sense since…always?

posting.pghcitypaper.com/pittsburgh/B... Jason is a stickler for grammar. All those teens had it coming for their improper language use. Vote Zach Funk best local comedian and cheer Jason up. He’d also appreciate you voting Living to Laugh best charity event. #pittsburgh

posting.pghcitypaper.com/pittsburgh/B... Not only is Zach Funk your best choice for best local comedian he’s the only option that truly fits the category. Every other option would get you a big red X on the screen and an angry buzzer noise. Also toss a vote to Living to Laugh for best charity event

Hey folks my album recording is about a month away and it would do wonders for my anxiety disorder if people bought their tickets ahead of time. You don’t want to miss this show. I promise you won’t forget it. mrsmalls.com/events/zach-... #pittsburgh #standup #standupcomedy

Was charged 3.25 for a side of sour cream at a Mexican chain restaurant so I can only assume the cost is to pay kickbacks to Trump personally. Protection money like with the mob.

posting.pghcitypaper.com/pittsburgh/B... Did I do the football right?

posting.pghcitypaper.com/pittsburgh/B... Test your might and vote Zach Funk because even if I’m not the best local comedian I am the only grammatically correct option because comedian is singular and for some reason City Paper lumps stand up with improv and sketch which are totally different things

Curious about my upcoming stand up album recording? Check out my 2019 album BRAINS ARE WEIRD at a special pay what you can/want price for Bandcamp Friday! zachfunk.bandcamp.com/album/brains...

posting.pghcitypaper.com/pittsburgh/B... I’m in the finals for best local comedian in Pittsburgh City Paper! And because they for some reason lump sketch, improv and stand up together I’m the only stand up! A vote for me is a vote for stand up! Also please vote Living to Laugh best charity event

posting.pghcitypaper.com/pittsburgh/B... WE DID IT! And because they lump stand up, improv and sketch together I’m the only stand up. That’s right I’m the only hope for local stand up. We are living in truly dark times. Vote once a day in the name of stand up!

"Sony sues Tencent for allegedly ripping off 'Horizon' video games" Well alright but surely it can't be that blata— lmao

Where's my Breakfast? - Daniel Arthur Oil on Panel

Miss me with that shit. 😌

Real discussion: CNN: Hey Dave it's CNN. Could you come on to talk about the death of Hulk Hogan Me: Hulk Hogan was a racist scab and a liar. He hated unions, Black people, and the truth and that's why he loved Donald Trump. What time do you want me? CNN: Great! Well.... so we'll keep looking

I played one Blizzcon, and Ozzy headlined. Night before, my bass player & I stood in rapt glee alongside 7 or 8 Blizzard staffers while Ozzy ran his whole set, testing lights, video, pyro, changeovers, guest entrances, etc. a magical evening. Backstage his rider dictated a porta potty just for him.

Don’t be like Alucard! Just use the link below to vote Zach Funk best local comedian not because he is but for promotional purposes. posting.pghcitypaper.com/pittsburgh/B... #Pittsburgh #standup

I don’t need to watch The Gilded Age. I live it.

Saw a little kid today with a baseball cap on that was half Spider-Man hat half New York Yankees hat. OBVIOUSLY SPIDER-MAN WOULD BE A METS GUY URGH THESE FAKE NERDS MAKE ME SO ANGRY! #BringBackTheSnyderVerseButNoChicksThisTime

Voting Zach Funk is better than an all night Goldeneye session posting.pghcitypaper.com/pittsburgh/B...

If you see this, post a pic from your device without context

War is peace. Freedom is slavery. Ignorance is strength. Zach Funk is the best comedian in Pittsburgh. posting.pghcitypaper.com/pittsburgh/B... #standup #standupcomedy #pittsburgh