“Brainwashing counts as protected free speech” Just say it like that. Assholes.

wouldn't it be funny if EVERYONE blocked this Attie AI account @ bsky.app/profile/atti... before they could do anything with it

“lol millennials don’t have any culture” Yes we do. It’s called “Seven Nation Army” and it’s literally all we have. So shut the fuck up

Shoutout to the guy sitting near me during Project Hail Mary who loudly announced "oh my GOD this movie is so fuckin' boring!" during the scene where Ryan Gosling learns to talk to a rock puppet from outer space.

Just because the guy put him in Home Alone 2…

Happy RAD Day to all who celebrate!

“I made my Substack free for this one article, come give it a read and consider subscribing.” Ok cool, let me go do that… “But first you have to download the mobile app, and also you can only read the article on your phone” Oh, well I’m sorry but fuck all the way off with that shit.

read the news today

Chuck Norris is dead. He was really shitty but Conan playing this clip from Walker Texas Ranger lives rent free in my head forever tbh so there's that.

In which I delight in a shark movie about how sharks aren't evil, actually.

If you remember seeing the "Baby Got Back" video on MTV, it's time to get a doctor who will LOOK AT YOUR BUTT.

The more I think about it, the more I really wanna see three-team basketball. The court would be a triangle, two teams would always be on defense. It would be amazingly chaotic.

Hell yeah, Afroman

Dune 3 and Spider-Man: Brand New Day are both movies about guys beating themselves up because society made them dump Zendaya.

Genuinely surprised to see the Dune 3 trailer this morning. I think I just assumed Dune 3 was a "Maybe we'll get back around to that someday if we feel like it" kind of movie, and not an "Oh no we definitely already made it and it's coming this year" movie. That's how out of the loop I am, I guess

Keep Uncle O'Grimacey in your heart all year round

In filling out my NCAA bracket, I accidentally put High Point University winning the Arkansas/Hawaii game. Which would legitimately be the most amazing game of basketball ever played, for a third team to suddenly show up and clown the other two.

Instead they should reboot Arrested Development as a prestige TV drama and cast Walton Goggins as GOB.

Share a random film gif

We came to the conclusion that, even though this thing is chintzy and cheap and extremely a product of it's time, we would still rather watch a dozen of these before we'd watch one more piece of streaming slop. www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lppg...

This is my favorite subgenre of episodes we do: "Hey look at this weird thing we found!" In this case: A made-for-TV western version A Christmas Carol where Rick Schroder can't stop getting his ass beat by an extremely elderly Jack Palance

I have been operating on high alert/panic attack mode all morning because the news was calling for “hurricane force straight line winds” And then it just rained for a few minutes. Fuck I hate spring and it’s not even here yet.

“I hope audiences like the sequel just as much, if not more than, the original” - Bill Pullman, who was talking about his son Lewis (or Spaceballs 2, who really knows), but who also starred in Independence Day: Resurgence

The guy who did the music for Community now has three Oscars

Because when I think film scores, I think of the cast of Bridesmaids

What came between A Few Good Men and The American President, Billy? Huh????

Why? Why do the presenters for the screenplay awards always have to do awful improv patter?

Oh my GOD they did it again

The Academy Award for Best Casting goes to whoever’s kid said Keanu Reeves should play Shadow the Hedgehog

It was all worth it to hear Matt Berry have to read Burger King ad copy

This is Amy Madigan and Ed Harris refusing to applaud Elia Kazan's honorary Oscar in 1999. During the Blacklist Era, Kazan named names. Good on Amy and Ed.

It’s gonna be really funny if the Oscars does a 30th anniversary Independence Day reunion minus Will Smith

Thanks to this particular Homestar cartoon, I have said “Hey Stankle” to my dog at least three times a day

Everyone thinks soy chorizo is vegetarian, but it’s literally Spanish for “I’m chorizo”

A holiday my wife thinks I made up for a band my wife also thinks I made up

Just got home from seeing Hoppers, which was very cute and full of weird, chaotic energy. It’s the kind of movie that the Pixar upper brass could never make anymore. Wouldn’t call it great, but it’s a helluva lot more fun than whatever Toy Story 5 is gonna be, I can tell ya that.

If Toy Story 5 had any balls it would do the Escape from LA ending to get rid of iPads forever

Me personally? Breakfast Miser. 🎵I eat too much🎵

In retrospect, it really is a miracle Luca got made at all.

38% of airline passengers vote to open plane door midflight because that bitch stewardess said not to

Corporations didn't kill rock. The CIA didn't kill rock. What killed rock was the hat trick of nu-metal, post-grunge and indie rock. Three garbage subgenres all in a row strangled the life out of rock radio. No one wants to hear that shit.

I am sincerely and completely done with anyone whose religious beliefs drive their public policy. My read of the Constitution is that I am free from having to care about your gods and your books and your rules because that is your fucking business. I want that line enforced. Stringently.

I believe that any belief in End Times prophecies and how military deployments might help accelerate the Apocalypse should disqualify you from being anywhere near the levers of control, and honestly, from holding any office of import. Keep that crazy made-up nonsense to yourselves.