I keep replies off so people cannot be mean to me ,especially before posting some of my greatest ideas

Halfway through monday and referred to my memory banks as knowledge satchels, follow up question was whether i had a head injury over the weekend

It's called a rodeo burger because the original recipe called for ingredients from there - bbq sauce and clown meat

Looking again into pinball machines for home entertainment, i've always been told these are too expensive and difficult to maintain , probably like a pet monkey

I don't need jokes on here explained to me - my great grandfather was literally in most of the lightbulb jokes

Almost that time of year when the weather supports sending homemade chicken chimichangas to my unsuspecting son's mailbox

Adding secondary objectives and side quests this morning after 3 hours of sleep and then deploying to production on a friday

Northern lights are so bright here, i'm seeing them with the regular eye

No weirdos

Just learned i'm so afraid of heights, I need to keep a foot down in the barber's chair

Yes, hello, I just need 4 pounds of gas on pump 7 kind of day

Got tired of reading the news and getting mad. Feeding America backs 200+ food banks around the country and I've seeded with $500 for now. I'll match up to another $500 myself. Pass the hat, RTs graciously appreciated, etc.

They put the whitest bread on the bottom shelf to make you work a little

This works for home defense as well

When keeping it real does wrong

help look at these fucking cupcakes I made

Thought my shoulder pain was from bike riding for 3+ hours at a time but i just learned it's actually because my little baby shoulders cannot support the weight from sleeping on them afterwards

Reposting for awareness

You cannot intimidate these soulless creatures

Midnight electric fire smell mystery

the people in my area drive like they just snorted a fat line of coke mere seconds before hopping the car

Trainimg this guy as an outdoor watch dog, no food bills and very unsuspecting

Going to climb it

Is this what riding bikes on acid is like

The dentist asks if I floss and I ask if he prays. Neither of us answers.

It's been a few years since they started advertising apple phones as professional camcorders and we still havent seen any of those films hit the big screen, disappointing

I bet the existing ecosystem will love these little guys

There's a handful of soup perverts coming out this time of year telling you about their soup, some might try to show you pictures or even coerce you into putting it in your mouth for a short time, don't fall victim

Misspoke to the leadership team last night "thank you all, hope everyone has sweet dreams"

Signaling to the driver in front to put their phone down so we can make this yellow light together✨

Storks riding unicycles, seems doable

absolutely harrowing stuff

Told hr my performance has been declining due to the "ongoing search engine crisis"

I was taught it's only a couple thousand years ago when god created earth and put mankind on here, presumably with a pound of ground beef and a bic lighter

I got fired for making copilot write diagnosis murder fanfic while logged into my work account

pisstopher columbus

Logging on

Just checked on my new year's resolutions, I had put down "Something with weight lifting" so there's still time for that

Baltimore oreo

They sent me across town to chester's roughly used mattress shoppe when i asked them for a cheaper pillow

Just shipped a huge project that has consumed my life for 3.5 years and it went off without a hitch due to my genius nature

Anyone who thinks I’m not neurodivergent has never seen me around animals

Razorblade shaped hard candy flavored with zinc to support your halloween and immune system needs for the season

I think it’s funny when people are rude to me and then act surprised when they wake up in the trunk of my car.

Some good news , I am "stepping in" as the new Chief Innovation Officer at Slinky

Is being wildly incompetent part of your heritage too

From a technical perspective, I'm a big Accept the Risk and Continue kind of guy

You don't really hear badonkadonk anymore either

I've become a Knowledge Titan from using ai tools , reading less frees up time for bigger thinking with larger datasets , doing enterprise stuff, might start some databases for some type of chemistry with those beakers, just unstoppable

(punched so hard i lost my sense of hearing) i didn't hear no bell 😤