somebody wake me up. i hate that this is real.

Right now I'd trade a heatwave for this shitty dull weather. So depressing 🫩

Filed for bankruptcy today (I left my car and headlights on overnight)

Me when I realize I don't have a little treat because I was responsible at the supermarket

Selling stuff on Facebook Marketplace is WILD! You've JUST GIVEN BIRTH!

*confused*

You're in a gay bar and see me, what handkerchiefs am I wearing? 🤭

If your business advertises with GenAI just know I'm never visiting or buying your products again. I've already ditched a handful of my favourite (even local) stores and won't stop.

Computa, make someone fall in love with me

I love JB Hi-Fi signs

The Stanley Parable in Real Life (this did not go well at all)

My now two airport tips (from experience) 1. Don't take hot chocolate on the plane 2. Don't lose time in a chlorinated pool, rush to the airport without rinsing off - you will set off the explosives detector just walking through security

No joke this exact thing nearly happened to me LMAO At this same airport I was pulled aside for possible explosives in my suitcase. Turned out to be hot chocolate. Now another person shut the whole airport down over hot chocolate lmao

Went to lookup a word in NYT Connections and the very first website had the answers 🫥 (No spoiler tag so it's adult content today, but not really lol)

FUCK YEAH!

It is time. tinyurl.com/4ywju7rm

Firstly, this will be reverted very quickly once it rolls out. Second, I'm thinking this could actually be the end of AI. So many websites are going to sue Google for using their content without consent and a link to their websites. It's going to kill the internet.

So glad I started de-Googling a few years ago. The only Google service I still use is YouTube.

Every Google announcement today

Tfw when the free library wifi is triple the speed of your home wifi you pay for 🙃

Just finished filming my first spicy film, where should I upload it 🤔

I GET LOGGED OUT. BUT I LOG IN AGAIN

I especially like these mixed messages...

i don’t even require much i just need someone that will scratch my back on request and then let me blow them

Of course all my favourite artists decide to tour when I'm broke 🙃 Credit card is ✨working✨

'See how I turned a $1 coin into $10 and ruined the economy' Fr though, I got this as change and they're worth ~$10

Sorry I'm late, was busy doing some gay stuff

Finally got my bedroom looking nice for the (non-existent) dates I'll get, in my new house

Great job everyone! Hope you like minimalism again for the next 10 years

Local police station posting their new cadets online and omg I'd do crimes to be arrested by him 😍😍

Promise?

This reminded me that there are ADULTS who are younger than YouTube

PEAK is here!

My mouth is a machine that turns unsucked dicks into sucked dicks.

"We're sick of flat design and want skeuomorphism back!" Spotify: here's a skeuomorphic disco ball icon :D "Eww what the hell is that‽" 🫩🫩🫩 Where's your whimsy

Meanwhile in Australia I sat in the same gum-filled desks that my parents did while they wheel out a projector playing a black-and-white VHS that has 40 years of out of date information. And asbestos was everywhere. In 2018. I wish this was a joke.

Did I get what needed done in the end at least? HAHAHAHAHAHA good one! 🤣🥲🤧🫩

Just went through hell (I had to speak to my ISP, insurance, and tax office, in a single day) More exhausting that working a 9-5 tbh 🫩

To be clear, his sentence was for infringing Nintendo's copyright and not for selling meth

Am I dumb? What is this Captcha 😭

this looks like an extra tough captcha test

First time I have ever seen Google search having an error. I'm sure AI has nothing to do with it 😉

Computa, make my moots happy and gay

My mums turning into a Karen and I'm trying to stop it. Pray for me 🙏

Sorry for hantavirus guys. I just moved and found all my old facemasks and I just looked so good in them ya know? Wanted to wear them again

While the last conversation we ever had was sadly a fight, I've had those "signs" in the wild she's ok up there. 💜 Miss you