Toxic yaoi

Holding space for the lyrics of defying gravity today, while I too, green out

Not to brag but I’ve been told I have muppet nipples.

someone you find attractive at a funeral is a 'mourning would'

shitting myself to death in the imodium aisle at CVS, leaving brown claw marks on all the locked displays

Yall ever wanna scratch your nuts but all you got is labia?

Tv shows dont have the glee recap like they used to

How come only women get a husband stitch? How come men cant get a wife stitch? Lets see some tight ass balls

Low key The Fault In Our Stars was insane for having them kiss in the Anne Frank museum

Baby driver? How did he get his license?

If south park was smart theyd do the funniest thing ever and also make randy Chappell Roan ontop of being Lorde

Just found out pornhub is no longer available in indiana, pouring one out for all my friends with petnises 😔😔

Yall only focus on the living and laughing… what about the love….

Ive taken to crop dusting rude people in loud places by the way and its been working

If icould kill myself for the bit id do it Like if i could do it and come back id 100% Like imagine you fart in a quiet room and you just stab ypurself in the stomach

“You couldnt waterboard that out of me” So you dont believe in sharing is caring? You dont believe in having a silly little haha and sharing?

People wanna fuck L from Death Note so bad they forget he canonically doesnt have eyebrows

Cant even fart in your wifes but anymore!!! because of woke!

Yes, actually, thank you snapchat How did you know How did you know i wanted you to combine my photos like this?

William: (turning down a hot cheeto from my little cousin) i dont do red 40 Me: you had 3 popsicles last night William: they were purple Me: what 2 colors make purple???

I look so hot in a video but my boob almost falls out and my skirt hikes up but just know i ate Heres a screenshot because i dont have alot of good photos of this outfit

Thinking about how i jokingly sent my boss curse of ra over workday and then he proceeded to get the most sick ive ever seen him for 2 weeks and a pipe burst in his basement…

I just closed my laptop on my nipple on accident and it solidified i can never get my nipples pierced because ive never wanted to punch my laptop until that moment

Me: (calling over to william at a museum but he isnt paying attention so he doesnt hear) i bet if i barked hed look Me:(barks) William: (looks up)

Its lowkey like gooning after a long edging streak when you finally get to be a hater after so long of being nice

How are you expecting to connect with a woman when your mustache and beard dont even connect?? Very sad…

Sorry babe the socks stay on during sex, its called protection

They really fucking killed the dad on young sheldon

I want her so bad

Super nanny was low key serving a dangerous level of cunt, look at her

Stop saying my tires are bald, im not stupid, they literally dont have hair???

The feminine urge to recreate my childhood home on sims so my online friends can walk through it

Me: will you check if the laundry is dry? William: give me like 10 minutes i have 24 inches if meat in me

Sometimes, when i need to humble myself, i remember the time i had a fully blown panic attack in the highschool bathroom while dressed as austin powers

Labia would have been a beautiful name for a girl if we didnt waste it on the roast beef part of the pussy

Bigfoot gotta either be a woman or a gay man because every pic ive seen the body is tea and the walk is sissied

Um yeah you could say my labia is majora

I used to say i hadnt cosplayed since highschool but thats a lie i cosplayed joe exotic during the pandemic

Godzilla vs Kong but its these two divas

No ones cracking up anymore 😔

Theres statistically at least 1 karkat license llate out there, stay safe

The middle of the bed is so woman coded and men just want to force us to sleep on one side

Its so cute men name their tools, like whys this wrench named allen?

The fact that ive been hit by a car is insane

Ive seen yall force these character ai to experience the horrors just for you to nut, i know whats in your soul

Something cathartic about hitting them with “:3” when youre being a shit head

What are you gonna do when me and the homies hit you with the carebear stare?????

Them: you gotta be skibidi young sheldon on the bisexual pride flag if you think were fucking Me fr:

We really named them HUMPBACK whales

L+ratio+my tip sticky