idk

i haven't felt close to this sick since the illness era but this ain't nothing to me man

i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you

my rock bottom was playing league of legends (jungle btw) as midnight struck on new years eve so it's all up from there

wednesdayband.bandcamp.com/album/bleeds music. Ehhh im kind of over the whole small town american alt rock thing quite frankly. should finish listening another time i guess

i need to see this man mindbroken

2026: - get job - get wife - don't kms - get body in more functional shape - better fashion/tattoos/piercings/makeup - ostomy reversal surgery (it hopes) - make music - get into more arts

it's like if they tried to domesticate a wild fox, it can be compliant and non threatening but it is a scared thing still

one day it will figure out how to be butchy without being too Male about it and that day it will be 200% hotter

accidentally in meds withdrawal Oops. i feel an interminable sense of dread, and my guts are tense, twisted to a knot

i will never kill myself

does anyone wanna taste my blood

does anyone want to save me?

she does it again (rly liking this one) ^~^

i Swear to myself i will never know more loneliness than this no matter what way out it will take

6:30 am drinking lukewarm vodka & dr pepper (not a good idea), it ate a 16 inch pizza earlier so it may or may not make itself sick. it is christmas time Babyy

merry christmas to fellow loser girls, to the rest know that the world we have all made is not enough

DOG FUCKING BLESS

IT FEELS SILLY LIKE IT COULD BE SO SILLY IT COULD HAVE FUN WITH ANOTHER PERSON IT COULD LAUGH IT COULD FEEL GOOD HAHAHAHAHAHA

so powerless to do anything real, anything that makes a difference for anyone, anything that actually helps

this one is too lonely. alas, complaining changes nothing

it's a lonergirl christmas

this christmas day will be better than last year's on account of me making it out for groceries on christmas eve before shops close and actually being able to eat ^~^

beginning to suspect they did not at all make a replacement order of my defective essential medical products... i have backups but it just pisses me off so badly that the shit i need to fucking live is not a priority?

Legal fee fundraiser for trans woman facing serious charges over arrest at a Trans Kids Deserve Better demo. Please support by sharing and donating if you can afford to. chuffed.org/project/1587...

going to start tvpmaxxing cus that stuff's way cheaper & easier to keep stocked up on than tofu & tempeh. i can deal w the texture but also should figure out a way to do it nicer (lower water in rehydration?)

#projektlunarsigil last one ^~^

it has been 12 days since i reported recieving faulty medical equipment & they said they'd send me an urgent replacement order... gawd i hate this

not doing anything for christmas is whatever, im more sad about new years eve

the bsky android app has been mega fucky since the last system update i think its time to install graphene on this thing

#projektlunarsigil forgot to post yesterday so there's an extra. ive been doing these after meditation, which i think is effective. though i feel relatively uninspired. id like to practice some different writing systems, latin script letters feel a touch too direct for my tastes

mrraoo it is up too late again

beautiful tall woman at the second hand bookshop, i feel so insufficient holy shit

#projektlunarsigil missed a night cus inwas out of juice. here's one. a little bit rune-y a little bit like code

i have been really out of the loop on ukpol. i keep seeing things that have me feel my assessment of how imminent the fascist threat is has been way off. i need to get my gut situation reversed. i need to get castrated.

do i know anyone with a linux machine that has an m.2 port? need to confirm if this drive i have is busted or if it's just the USB dock I have. it's throwing errors that would suggest it's not being powered correctly

its ill-coordinated caffeine-jitters ass is going to have to be forgiven for its babytransesque messy eyeliner phase

it's very late but #projektlunarsigil day (night) 2

need to goth out so my dour depressive look is more hot than pathetic

gelatinous slime girl 🗡️

#projektlunarsigil doing this business again, trying some similar but different forms

kreidler-official.bandcamp.com/album/early-... jams

think maybe i need actual stimmies to make me feel more human . hate how untalkative & reserved i am and don't know how to break that

feel like a nonentity

anyone else going??

sucks pretty bad having to fast if i want to comfortably go out lol

trying my best to get out to things more, so i can be less fucked up about being lonely, so i can have some hope that i can be loved again some time hopefully freaking soon, so i can stop myself wanting to d1e