I see some quibbling about if sandwich guy is really "jury nullification" (we know he's factually guilty and acquit anyway) or actually just a normal acquittal because the government didn't prove its case beyond a reasonable doubt. Fun thing about jury nullification is that's entirely unknowable.

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This is the greatest last sentence ever written in an obituary. defector.com/dick-cheney-...

Dick Cheney won't see your mean jokes about his death, but Tony Blair will, hopefully.

If you're not glad Dick Cheney is dead then you need to take a long hard look at yourself.

Marx and Recreation.

The time toaster is the best segment, but the best individual joke is the debigulator / rebigulator exchange.

As previously noted, this means Andrew being an obvious and about to be massively exposed paedophile gets him demoted to the same level of dignity that Archie and Lilibet aren’t allowed to rise above because their mum is Black

I'm going as "Actually, I do have one question" in a Friday afternoon meeting.

Back in my day, AI used to stand for Adobe Illustrator! And we hated that, too!

Pronouncing loot crates like Socrates.

Reports suggest that CountBot3000 was compromised shortly before the election. GodEmperor-for-life Streeting denied there had been any impropriety in his recent landslide.

If someone told me that YP was in fact set up by lawyers as a fee-generation grift, I would not be surprised.

Another member of the Fawlty Towers cast dies, and it's still not Cleese. Fuck's sake.

Let's check back in on this definitely not racist Dutch person on December 5th, shall we?

Blackadder bemoaning that the troops are being sent over the top again and Melchett insisting it's a great plan because it's the last thing the Germans would expect.txt

Disband the New York Yankees

I was with them at the time, many hundreds of miles away.

I had a long and distinguished career before this voyage spent not sailing ships into icebergs, why doesn't the media ever report on that?

Wish the cunt would stop using oxygen

Whoever decided that the british edition of the No Kings protest should instead be No Tyrants is a bootlicking piece of shit. There should be no kings! Especially not the british one!

I HATE THIS GUY SO FUCKING MUCH

Officer, it might look like I posted a skeet explicitly calling for an uprising and revolution and the execution of the ruling class. Actually just an optical illusion!

My strongest book-related belief is that the paperback should come first and then the hardback after for people who want a fancy edition.

"I do this to honour the memory of our brave soldiers and their sacrifices!" <stagedive off the cenotaph>

"But I need a ChildCrusher3500 to keep _my_ children safe!"

Glenda Jackson won two oscars for Best Actress, but her greatest performance was when she told Dan here that she didn't regret having him.

Glad he's dead. You should be too.

I sure hope they don't tarnish the reputation of the nobel peace prize (previous winners: Henry Kissinger, Barack Obama) by giving it to Donald Trump.

In light of Metal Threat going completely mask off with bringing two of best known nazi bands to their lineup I think it's more critical now than ever for us to vet artists in our preferred musical realm. Anyone that is willing to work with any venture Paul Dunski puts out must be looked at hard.

I just saw someone use the abbreviation “AI;DR” and I’ll be laughing for a while.

actually our AI programs are like people so its racist to say you don't like them. anyway would you like to buy one

He's saying this because he believes that Britain should be allowed to mistreat foreigners without their governments intervening, so it's a good precedent to set. Or he's just a coward. Either way, he's a complete piece of shit.

Wait, so every time I've threatened Clippy with death over the years I've actually been doing a hate crime? Oh no, how tragic.

Chris Benoit's toxic legacy continues to be erased, little by little.

'Un-british' isn't the gotcha the home secretary thinks it is. A quick look at britain will tell you that being un-british is good. And if 55% of Scotland hadn't shat the bed a decade ago I'd also be legally un-british by now.

When they say someone has become a half trillionaire, I don't want them to have $500bn. I want them to have briefly reached $1tn and then been cut in two by a sword, as a lesson to everyone else. (also applies to half billionaires)

BREAKING: NFL's Buffalo Bills have signed a deal to work with Tilly Norwood. "She doesn't exist so can't kick a football between the posts, but she's cheaper than the last Norwood that couldn't do that", a spokesperson said yesterday.

The bit that upset me the most was when she was given a secondhand teddy and doll’s house for her daughter and she’s so disgusted by these gifts that she leaves them out on the pavement for the binmen. Just a really nasty piece of work.

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking "that fucker doesn't know what I'm thinking"

One of the things I take great pleasure in is that JK published her detective series under a false name because she was insecure about the idea that her literary work would stand on its own merits. And it didn't. They leaked her name to recoup their losses. I hope that haunts her every day.

Rachel Reeves isn't stupid. So if she's parroting this line, it's because she's evil.

Europe are winning the Ryder Cup so comprehensively that with hindsight they could (and should) have deliberately lost the first hole by turning round and launching their drive at full power into the crowd.

If you see this post a bridge

A comprehensive Not Guilty would have been great, but getting the case thrown out because the prosecution fucked up their dates will boil so much piss. Loving it.

Decent chance the celebrations when Blair dies will make Thatcher's look like amateur hour.

God I fucking hate that cunt.