I’m pretty pissed that the Bsky team is ruining my favorite geometrically patterned breakfast food.

@johnmaddening.bsky.social leaning against a bar top at @blackhartstp.com: “Wes need some long screws here…” Me: “maybe ya gotta get Wes some... Long Screws.”

@megfenway.bsky.social some important slides for you (hey, I love that I can eat the cream cheese wonton. But I know it’s Minnesota coded)

Reddit be like “how do I make my cat who went into heat before I could get her spayed feel better” and the responses are all “get her spayed you monster” with nothing helpful. Also do you know that a lot of vets have a backlog? So anyway. Kitten is now louder than “normal” and presenting her bits.

This turned not funny pretty fast when I turned from amused passenger to privileged white lady who started recording the situation because the fare checkers found him unresponsive and the first person to arrive was a cop, until the guy was safely with EMTs.

Looool. Someone lit incense on the LRT before smoking their weed.

As much as I would LOVE to see the solar eclipse in Iceland, it just seems like a bad idea to plan eclipse tourism around a country that is frequently cloudy. Regardless, I’m getting lots of ads for it now.

@advicepig.bsky.social omg look at us with our little ghosts 🥹

A fun thing about the beginning of fall is that it’s the last time my skin is ever gonna look the way it does ever again, every year. Photo 1 for my arm’s likely tannest state of the year. Photo 2 for contrast turned way up.

I took this ridiculous picture of my bar on Saturday, holding the precise amount of weight it should be for one of our strict press rounds…

Happy Negroni week to me!

I didn’t realize being An Old In Tech would mean I would feel like I had to defend the word “Data Center” while agreeing that LLMs are destroying the planet… like they used to just be these Little Guys that were the internet. Just Little Guys.

I’ve never had a wine glass of dinosaur chicken nuggets and Kraft mac & cheese… but I know full well that there are veggie dino nuggets. I can make this happen.

My little volunteer corn babies are doing their best.

Being a lifelong vegetarian may be inconvenient af, but I’ve never had to worry about radioactive shrimp… unless they mutate into kaiju

#RaptureFacts #RaptorFacts

I am drinking black licorice soda. It’s okay, you can judge everything I consume.

COME SEE THE WIFE SING SONGS

That’s a lot of thumbtacks…

No it’s just Kris Lindahl.

If Minnesotans can give up our target addiction (and we’ve shown we can), anything is possible.

Had a surprise concert tonight. Friend had an extra ticket to Viagra Boys, so I joined. Then I left a bit early because my eyes decided to allergy. Still had a great time though!

People who put their hazards on to block a lane IMMEDIATELY NEXT TO COMPLETELY EMPTY PARKING SPOTS <<<<<<<<

Share your favorite cover as a timeline cleanse if you’d like

Me: *spends 5 seconds putting AT-ATs in Human Centipede configuration and pulls out camera* @johnmaddening.bsky.social: …oh no, <SKEETLET>

This week, I asked @johnmaddening.bsky.social to get me a custom claddagh-style ring that is actually just goatse. I am dead serious and he knows it.

Someday we’ll find it… the Rainbow Erection…

I LOVE Eurovision. I wanna watch Eurovision all the time. If all these countries (and probably more) are out and Israel is still in it? I’m gonna be skipping it.

New vöid cat is smarter than old vöid cat… but she’s still not brilliant. She was sitting on a rug and got her claw caught on it while lifting an arm up. As the rug fell back to the ground, it made a slight slapping sound. She got startled and ran away.

Shit yeah. Multiple countries following suit.

Hey, y’all. Accounts are getting suspended for fairly innocuous, but celebratory, comments. Be careful.

Btw, there are people out here (me) who really don’t wanna see snuff (and yeah, I’ll take a fictional gore-fest better than lots of people, but that’s fictional). If you’re posting graphic media, tag that shit.

Waking up early to visit @crobertcargill.bsky.social is playing on hard mode. Because you get up at 6:15AM after far too little sleep and you just know he’s gonna be 100% awake until 4AM.

Gravitating toward the blackest of the laundry.

Why do so many people have “no DMs!” so insistently in their profiles? Me: *helpfully tries to find the settings to screenshot how you can set that to mutuals only* Me: *tries searching bsky’s help documentation* Never mind.

(Btw free toe pics of some random weirdo on the plane who has no problem putting their toes in other people’s personal space)

WHO PUTS THEIR TOES ON SOMEONE’S ARM REST

This is where I skeet from

Still being able to feel the coating of sunscreen on the tops of your hands… which are itchy from sunburn. Yey vitiligo.

Me, when packing for this trip: I don’t need tweezers, it’s only a few days. The Chin Hair: 👀👀👀👀👀👀

Oh no. I went to pull out my ID to go into this LA bar and the bouncer waved me in. 👵🏻

It took me a while to get to this book, only to read past my name and then half an hour later be like “oh… that was me. I’m a robot. In a book. Written by my friend.” I only noticed after catching on to the fact that two of the characters are named “Tony and Luke”, after a couple other friends.

In this hotel, you can poop from the Cuck Chair

Great street poster in LA

Pretty pissed that no one has told me about Cockta before TBH. And now o need to try it. cockta.eu/en/about_the...

Why are Minnesotans still awake. It is late. Go to bed. (She says. At 11pm in… LA)

NOBODY BATS AN EYE WHEN YOU’RE IN A BAR IN… LA… AND YOU SAY ANYA TAYLOR JOY HAS A FIRM HANDSHAKE

Is there news I have missed or is it wishful thinking?

Didn’t realize we needed to say this, but Eat Shit, Tom Emmer! Minnesota is for queers.

You ever get an intrusive thought like… I have nail clippers… I could clip my nails at this airport bar.