i feel an odd, maternal fondness for Dolly the Sheep… a modern making of mad science, and yet. she was just a baby.

$11 for a stick of deodorant? no wonder fellas out here stinkin.

i can finally drive my car again 🎸🦧 @beetlemoses.bsky.social

Geese- Getting Killed (2025)

do not. address it

MF DOOM- MM..FOOD (2004)

making my woman happy makes me happier than anything else. she deserves it all, and i intend to give her everything that i can.

“this too shall pass” i mean yeah sure but what the FUCK was that for

BIG FAT, SLIM CHANCE THAT I ROCK WITCHA. ICE COLD WITH THE STICK LIKE A POPSICLE.

everybody want a big booty bitch til it’s time to retighten the screws on that toilet seat.

getting flipped off by someone in a Tesla is endlessly funny to me, because dawg, YOU’RE the one driving that overpriced electric Nazi-mobile. 🫵🏼🤣

besides the drivers, Maine’s honestly quite lit.

shit gets crazy, scary, spooky, AND hilarious? all at once? in THIS economy?

🚬🪳

clocking out

Hey, so ICE is still kidnapping and disappearing people in the United States. Just because they got quieter about it doesn't make it okay. Abolish ICE. Chinga la Migra.

I’D RATHER ASK FORGIVENESS LIKE A HUNDRED TIMES, THEN BE ASKING FOR PERMISSION IN A BEGGARS LINE!

these movies are always absolute gas.

everything i do today is so that tomorrow’s today can be easier.

everything everywhere all at once bagel seasoning send tweet

spilled a full grinder, we bout to test the vacuum/panty hose trick. 🫩 fingers crossed i can recover this fumble

the build up to the drop on Turnstile’s LOOK OUT FOR ME makes me feel like i could chew through concrete

i think the best part about huggin trees is you can squeeze em as hard as ya want

the past is yesterday, today. while we’re searchin’ for tomorrow.

i ain’t never seen nobody depressed and eating a cheesesteak at the same time. never! nobody!

bro just did the parking lot version of this to me 😒 3 empty spaces on both sides of me, and BANG — pulled in right next to me. like i’m not even a “don’t come near my car” guy, but it’s the principle of it all.

mfw one of the lads tells me to quit monkeyin’ around

metaphorically speaking, some of these bitches just LOVE the smell of they own farts. just cause you can’t smell it doesn’t mean your shit don’t stink!!

was cuttin it up with of the doormen at my office and remarked “god i hate this time of year, it’s always freezing in the shade, but warm in the sun” and bro hit me with “ain’t that just the world, man?” been thinking about that ALL day, man. dude’s on a different level. i need to get like him.

i really hope people don’t think i use ChatGPT because i get loosey goosey with the em dashes 😰 i just like how it breaks up a thought — i am anti-generative EVERYTHING.

gonna be ruminating on this one for a bit, i think 🎢

LETS GO WILL ARNETT!!!

Absolute Queen behavior from the Zamboni Rider today at the Minnesota Frost game. No ICE No War No Kings No Fear.

ai went into maximum overdrive & the girlies swung all the way back to analog, knitting & going outside. WACK that tin can again for me

sorry if this is me being an old man on main, but i really don’t think there’s EVER a reason to be going more than like, 10mph in a parking garage. slow tf down! people are walking around here!

angel playing the lute

bought that new Pokopia exclusively on the assumption that my fiancée would enjoy it, and i was dead on, she’s already having a blast 😌

do you guys think Yoshi is gonna rap during the Mario Movie 2 credits

post a zen pick you took!

true love will find you in the end, you will find out just who was your friend. — i’ll be your hammer, i’ll be your nail, i’ll be the house that allows you to fail.

Pokemon Winds and Waves Starters 🌴🌊✨

The talk to your friends app and the witness the horrors app being the same app is not great for the mental health is it

simply put, modern beauty standards are based around pedophilic preferences — we must reject “modernity.” embrace the adult human form. there will be bumps, and curves, and hair, and stretch marks. and that is because there is supposed to be.

The whole collective Smiling Friends fandom right now.

Thank you for being a friend

happy snow day to my fellow northeasterners 🤍 please enjoy some comics from blizzards past