"can't make this up" says the troll that quite literally made this up. www.medpagetoday.com/publichealth...

The Republican Party is just the guy in a hot dog suit meme, every single day.

This right here is why my husband is in charge of getting the doing things medication for our son. I can barely manage to get the doing things medication for myself. Trying to get the doing things medication for my son had me crying for a week every month.

Me when I don't want to make multiple trips bringing in the groceries.

"82 vaccines in a shot to a baby that hasn't even formed yet." This is the stupidest fucking timeline.

I guess that person would think I'm a self hating disabled person, because I describe my joints as weak. 😂

I'll just say that sometimes, occasionally, arson IS the solution to the problem.

They want to take away our Glue Guys and Dino Dudes and Choo-choo Chaps.

i hate this administration so much what do you mean im going to have to defend james comey now

Need to get pregnant and down 40 Tylenol a day so my kid can organize all my baseball cards and pokemon go accounts.

If y'all thought the TSA screening is security theater, you should see what passes for screening at my kids HS. Every kid pulls their Chromebook and water bottle out of their backpack, while they walk though the magnetometer, and those aren't even looked at. You can put so many knives in a Stanley.

Oh, I bet. It's really easy to fall for the scam, too, when your recruiter is someone you trust, and they got recruited by someone they trust, and so on. They prey on people by using the affinity fraud model.

Both my kids were bitten and were biters themselves in preK and early grammar school. My daughter was just bitten last month by another Autistic child at school. People need to get over their fucking moral panic about "STD vaccinations" and get their kids protected.

My husband is too God and pure to be married to me, because when I asked him what this said he responded "This is home." No question mark in his infection.

We finally decided on a name for the food dehydrator. And by we decided, I mean my husband finally agreed to let me put this label on it so long as it's never out when company comes over. (So of course I'm sharing it on the Internet.)

Thank you to my mutual who talked me into talking my ADHD self into finishing this project. We've got ginger peach jelly to last all year!

Best country in the world. youtube.com/shorts/r0oF2...

Something cute for cleansing the timeline right now.

Arizona’s Heat Is So Extreme Even Rattlesnakes and Cacti Are Struggling www.vice.com/en/article/a...

listen as somebody who has a lot of really good ideas ideas are fundamentally worthless. sorry. we give WAY too much credence to people who have them. yeah, even good ones, dude. the only thing I respect is execution. whether it's in myself or somebody else. an idea executed is worth something

"unused?"

Fucking hell. A local suburb had a "dead deer" on the road last night. Cops showed up and it...wasn't dead. So they decided to euthanize it. Instead of doing what a normal empathetic person would do, and put a bullet directly into its head at point blank range, they used it for target practice.

Second best news I've gotten today. First best is the ER I'm sitting at telling me they don't think I'm having a heart attack right now.

Goose Chase Meme Ass Explanation.

He's complaining that there's not enough stuff about the future in history museums? Someone remind me again what is the purpose of a history museum?

But don't literally yell, because I've tried that and it doesn't work.

People are angrier at this woman going to pick up her child from actual summer camp than they are about the CONVICTED CHILD RAPIST being transferred to a summer camp prison. What the fuck is wrong with this country?!

Worst timeline.

God forbid a woman have a hobby.

My favorite is Reagan looking like he did an Edgar Suit with Poppa Bush.

"I should comm him." #IPB #RubyDixon

No, this is still a stupid definition, because it would include the pickles, salsa and spaghetti sauce that I make and can from home grown organic produce, since I add pickling lime for crunch and have to add vinegar or citric acid to make it safe for storage in our basement pantry.

Why pay for a consultation with a Registered Dietician when the confabulation machine is free? (Yes, I know not everyone can afford that, but it's cheaper than three weeks of in patient psychiatric care!)

Democrats should really do some messaging about the Pie Lover's Loneliness Epidemic:

Absolute banger pun.

Kenny says, "If I fits, I sits; if I don't fits, I still sits."

I've spent the last 5 hours thinking it was Wednesday, doing all my usual Wednesday stuff, and now my whole week is messed up. No, I can't just do my Tuesday stuff tomorrow, that's madness.

William Carlos Williams if he was in an open marriage:

It's awesome getting a notice of a recall for a food item that I ordered back in January. I guess the problem couldn't have been that bad, we're all still alive.

People will be like, "I don't think your charming son is really actually Autistic" I then I will call him over and have him explain the pros and cons of various vacuum cleaners, including the differences between domestic and commerical use and the history of why there are headlights on vacuums.

Are we supposed to eat unprocessed meat, then? Just chuck a whole live chicken down our gullets?

The Conservative Wing of SCOTUS is like "Equal Protection Clause? I don't know her."

It's infuriating and baffling to me that the NYT is ignoring the literal fact that EVERYONE self identifies their own gender/gender identity. So many grown ass men think it's appropriate to call my 47 yo self "girl" or "missy" and fuck no, I'm a woman, you rusty doorknob.

This is the most epic playlist for conveying the message, "we didn't want to be here, but we couldn't really lawfully refuse the orders to play" aka, Malicious Compliance.

When they say the quiet part out loud: "He was a smuggler of humans and children and women." --US Attorney General Pam Bondi

They're trying to Sad Beige the gays to avoid maga backlash and tantrums. 🤬

I thought Acyn was joking when they quoted "to spread democracy to everybody around the world at the point of a gun…" but no. He literally said that.