We are watching Stranger Things Season 5 and all the kids are 36 and they all look like they hate each other and/or litigation is pending. It's like saved by the bell the college years. I give it 5 bags of popcorn 🍿 🍿🍿🍿🍿and one upside down turkey 🦃

Heard a bad cover of Last Christmas at Walgreens November 25, 2025

Music outlets have been trying to trick me into worshipping the Replacements and REM for my entire life and barely any of it sticks. They’re fine.

Today in 1988 Mystery Science Theater 3000 premiered on KTMA in St. Paul Minnesota. #MST3K

Times are tough some kids in my neighborhood are selling lemonade on a grey cloudy day

Paramount options Rachel Sennott rebooted police comedy “Car 6-7 Where Are You”

At LEAST two guys in Black Phone 2 have a kind of Dick Miller Energy that I love

*hands grandma a thanksgiving plate with all the trimmings* “Mmm! Looks good!” “Thanks now it’s going to ask you a question.”

Alexa play track “America” by artist “Neil Diamond”

White lady loudly just now: “I don’t like flavored coffee I like REGULAR coffee with flavors ADDED TO IT!”

Hmmm nobody smiled at me at Target. In fact, they did whatever the opposite of that is!

Imagine being such a piece of shit you aren’t invited to Dick Cheney’s funeral. Trump and Vance will not be attending.

I think of Adam Sandler’s Every Day I’m Mutterin’ every single day

2014. Nothing changes.

“This story is just beginning, it’s the tip of the iceberg.” —every reporter on Trump for 10 fucking years

Then Birdo did lay with Yoshi, and knew him.

If you see a pink iPhone Pocket on my doorknob come back in 40 minutes

Today is the day Donald Trump finally became president

“I will fight no more forever.” — Chuck Schumer

Love PLURIBUS? Get ready for a new episode of Low Winter Sun

PLURIBUS IS A DING DANG DELIGHT!!!

I have Frankenstein Fever!

*Frankenstein turns chair around backwards* Now this is a story all about how my life got flipped turned upside down

NYC power grid blacks out from Feeld pings to new Mayor and First Lady

I sound my barbaric YAWP over the rooftops of the world! But no worries if not!

Has New York Democratic Party chairman Jay Jacobs resigned over Mamdani yet? I hope he hasn't, so that he can instead resign over *improving Republican margins over Trump 2024 in an anti-Republican wave election*. Trump won Nassau by just 4%—now look at this bloodbath

*me, a writer, who has never read Death of a Salesman* “This is gonna last forever!”

Do you think more people would be anti-car if bike people weren’t so fucking weird. You know what I’m talking about.

When the price of beef keeps going up but McDonalds cheeseburgers stay the same price

You will never feel like more of a cow than doing the free sample cycle at CostCo and they hit you with the free Pepto sample at the end. I am an adult cow!

I would actually go back to bar soap if it was one really big bar of Dr. Bronner’s that lasts a whole year

Major life achievement today: bought bulk heartburn medication at CostCo

We think of AI as artificial intelligence. But did you know AI also thinks of us as AI? That’s right: An Idiot.

“Can I get a coffee with NO SHURGAR and a bucket of MUNCHKINS?” —lady at Dunkin Donuts

I’m in a haunted house called life

There Will Be Blood but for Tootsie Rolls

I went to a SMOKE SHOP to buy flints for a lighter and they didn’t know what those are at all. But they did carry 1000 of the most poisonous flavored unregulated vape pen if you need those!

Just heard a Ramones song in a Pfizer commercial so fuck everything

We traded democracy for hamburger helper

Everyone does need to quit pretending they aren’t using AI every single day though.

Baby I’m a firework

On a list of embarrassing things I've had to tell nurses, asking her to needle stick a different finger because "I'm a competitive pinball player and I need that finger tonight" has got to be a personal rock bottom.

My brother in Christ that’s all Panera is good for

“Cheese lovers, meat lovers, veggie lovers…” Where are the food options for people who hate everything! Where’s MY processed food!

Am I crazy or is there a series of Burn Boot Camp commercials where someone is grieving some horrible death and then Burn Boot Camp rescues them from the brink. There are like 3 of them. Advertising is insane.

Cori Bush on Washington Avenue today, at Brentwood Target in 2020🙏One thing about @coribush.bsky.social is she’s always going to have St. Louis’ back and we’ll have hers. #nokings

He belongs in a mausoleum! #nokings #stlnuts

Ladies and gentlemen... the weekend. (also: you are important and are not alone 🧡)

Charlie Browns mom: Waaah wah wah wah waaah waaah waaah wah Charlie Brown: oh, you mean pigpen Charlie browns mom: Wah way. Waaaah wahwahwah wah wah waaah waaaah wahwhawah wah wah Charlie Brown: yeah I get that. It’s pretty bad over there but I don’t think they hit him

I’m glad these kids like Geese but I hope they flock to the polls or our goose is cooked!