Chicago Manual Cologuard screens for semicolon cancer.

Garden gnome Chomsky?

My son just said he went on a “field trip to the MOMA,” and I said “I know, I know, it’s serious.”

Recent posts by @logotrope.xyz and @eehouls.bsky.social have me thinking about the years I spent in Portland. Here's a picture I took outside my building ca. 1999 and a Street View as close to the same spot as I could get. Things have changed!

Van Cortlandt House, Bronx, New York

At least two of these are right by my childhood home.

How’s this for a lyric to a country song? “At my job they gave me a plaque / But the dentist scraped it away”

Gehry/Prairie

If Justin Timberlake and Andy Samberg were in Hedwig and the Angry Inch, there would have been a song called "Wig in a Box."

Pearls before swine, always fine Swine before pearls, death unfurls

Do I ask myself rhetorical questions? Yes. Do I answer those questions even though they are rhetorical? Also yes.

Look, my follower count may be low, but it is... nice.

If donkey rhymed with monkey, donkey would have an u sound and monkey would have an o sound, and they still wouldn’t rhyme.

Colotov mocktails?

(Stephen Malkmus saying “Geddy Lee’s voice” voice): Joe Wengert’s voice

I don’t trust a recipe that calls for three teaspoons of something.

If you're not for before, you're anti-ante.

This one turned out okay.

What kind of cigarettes did your parents smoke? Mine smoked Benson & Hedges Menthol Lights.

When celery stalks and carrot sticks take over the government, it’s called a cru d’etat.

Something you may not know is that in that weird Kim Cattrall scatting thing, she's quoting Rupert Brooke's 1907 poem "The Little Dog's Day."

I don't have any plants.

Nine eleven never forget lmao. You forgot ten!!

There better be a dispensary in Chicago called Herbs in Horto.

No Woman, No Crime: A Marley Mystery

A lid, a lorf, a nanny… Little Orphan Annie

Seagull with a croissant

Leonard Cohen was wrong; Jesus was a carpenter, not a sailor. He must not have been paying attention in Sunday school.

Autumn barge

Why on earth would you call your autobiography “The Smell of Ears”?

Sean Bean is to Orson Bean as Rip Torn is to Rip Taylor.

Some people call me the hotstepper Some call me the gangster of lyric

Felt weird voting for a candidate I genuinely like. I could get used to this! Although I probably shouldn't.

This is probably the creepiest Shel Silverstein poem.

Just misheard Ford F150 as “Forty-fwon fifty.”

This Halloween, do yourself a favor and listen to “Bonin’ in the Boneyard” by Fishbone.

My son has friends over. So far this is what he has played for them: 1. The Zombies 2. Prefab Sprout 3. Desmond Dekker I will keep you posted.

A dog’s stupidity is elegant in its simplicity; human stupidity is much more baroque and intricate.

Cape Fear 2 1/2: The Smell of Cape Fear

Thinking of using this for my profile pic for spooky season, but I'm worried it's too disturbing.

It's fun watching zoomers discovery Labi Siffre song by song.

Weed strains in 2005: Napthalene Sweatsock Weed strains in 2025: Mintberry M&Ms

I had the thought “Jatham Statham,” searched to see if anyone else had also thought that, and found this.

Harold and Maude Go to White Castle

Irving Berlin could have listened to 3 Feet High and Rising.

Look, just because it’s the best movie I’ve seen in a long time doesn’t mean I’m going to stop calling it Little Battles Everywhere

Playing in my head now: Nina Simone covering AC Newman’s “35 in the Shade”

I’ve been reading photography tutorials, and they boil down to this: 1. Keep your ISO below 800 to avoid noise. 2. Use a fast shutter speed to prevent motion blur, at least 1/1000. 3. Your lens’s sharpest aperture is around F/8; keep it there. 4. DO NOT UNDEREXPOSE!!

My latest release has only been streaming for a few days, and already someone has given it the following review: "pissgarbage"

Midtown