Why is it called Schubert’s Cigarettes cycle and not Lieder of the Pack?

How would you start a garbage show? I would say “Lights, camera… ashcan!”

Want to feel old? Little Jackie Coogan’s all grown up now and is set to be in the cast of a television program inspired by New Yorker cartoons!

I don’t like to brag, but I am extremely humble.

Weird category, but I’m sure she deserved it.

“Billie Eilish”—me saying Billy Elliot while very drunk

Ras Putin, president of Rasta Russia

How do they take fifty-nine minutes to say no?

Imagine seeing a girl on fire. You’d point and say “That girl is on fire!” Then later you’d write a song about it called “Girl on Fire.” What a roller coaster ride.

Inside Llewyn Davis meets Uncut Gems

Honestly, all other movies should be called Face On.

La Brea Rugs: The carpet for your tar pit

This is my neighbor Hooch. He’s giving me a dirty look because I stopped petting him to take his picture.

Borat the Explorat

Today I learned that the first word of the Smashing Pumpkins song “Disarm” is “disarm.”

I had a dream last night that it happened on July 4, so mark your calendars, folks.

Coney Island in winter

2018: Oh cool, my wife is helping unionize her workplace. 2026: My wife has to testify about her retaliatory firing. Fun times!

Imagine Walt Whitman and Walter White having a podcast. WW: I am the one who knocks. WW: I am large, I contain multitudes.

Why is it called knocking people down and not mistrust falls?

dicture picture

Poutine! at the Diner

Pole to Pole? Is that the new gay skiing show everyone is talking about?

There's a brutalist sculpture in the park by my apartment that's fun to take pictures of.

Thinking and people watching The Chair Company with no familiarity with Tim Robinson’s oeuvre and wondering what they make of lines like “I'm right about a lot of things that people have zero clue that they even know is going on.”

Want to feel old? If so, why?

This might be the worst joke possible.

Because he’s British.

"Hello, It's a-Me" —Mario Rundgren

Snakes: A Hisstory

This morning I was listening to a podcast where they mentioned an intact carnyx found in Norfolk, and now my timeline is also talking about that carnyx. Pretty cool!

My sons are both playing different Sigur Rós songs at each other simultaneously to prove a point.

Yorkville stoops

Alright, time for some new lang syne!

Dick Clark’s Ryan Seachris Steakhouse

I don’t think anyone got mad at me on here. I think some people probably got annoyed with me, though, because I was being annoying.

Broth-ers and soup-sters

When Ghost Dog came out, I was really excited to see it but never got around to it. Now, over twenty-five years later, I finally watched it, and I was not disappointed.

Merry Chrissy Baby!

Squirrels can have a little avocado, as a treat.

Rebel Without a Cause is a Christmas movie. Wait, sorry, I meant Rebel Without a Claus.

Vivot to pideo.

SMH all these grave cleaning videos. They're removing the patina and destroying its resale value.

"Me and Debbie... He's my brother" (a misunderstanding at trivia last night)

Rom com is short for romp comp. I don’t know what that means though.

Would you drink at a bar called the Bloody Nose? I probably wouldn’t, but I’m a coward.

A good mean nickname for someone who really likes cabbage would be Samuel Taylor Cabbage. Like “Oh, is that so, Samuel Taylor Cabbage?”

So that’s why this wine was steeply marked down. I can only describe it as “yeasty,” with a distinct ketchupy note.

If Elvis Costello wrote a song about the standardization of the Albanian language, he could call it "Shqipbuilding."