Congratulations, my dear friends. It seems, perhaps, mayhaps even likely, that the Grey Wardens' nomination was, hmm, lost in the Fademail 📪☹️

whatever it takes* *except genAI

Blood magic to end the Blight? Acceptable. 🩸 Betrayal of allies, pacts with demons, night unspeakable acts to end the Blight? Acceptable. 👹 There's almost nothing the Wardens would not do to end the Blight.🛡️ But GenAI? We wouldn't do that. 👎

As the young fledgling Wardens would say these days, ahem, "FACTS."

Corypheus is mid.

Effective immediately, I am resigning my post as the First Warden, Supreme Commander of Weisshaupt, and Last Line of Defense Against the Blight.

Oh great, they're Rooking up my soaps.

👋Hey. I expected to open the QRPs to see the Hero's praises of their First Warden, and instead I had my feelings hurt. 😾 *Frowns ☹️* 🤔Some would interpret these responses as a means of change, but my good Wardens...🛡️ I do not. 👎

You'll do whatever it takes to end the Blight, Warden. Dare I remind you of your responsibilities!?

The Butcher and I have had interesting conversations regarding Treviso, the Crows, and the Grey Wardens, too.

Thank you everyone for the ringing endorsements! I am sure that every new person who follows me support the return of the Imperium, and aren't just a bunch of Rooks and Inquisitors in trenchcoats.

DLSS 5 Off/DLSS 5 On

Reports of "cheesy bunks" flood Weisshaupt whenever Alistair swoops in. Do with that what you will.

This is an annual reminder to all Grey Wardens, but especially ROOK. 🛡️ The Wardens disavow violence in the workplace, and any Warden contributing to a hostile workplace environment is subject to suspension without pay pending an internal investigation. 🕵️‍♂️ Don't hit commanders! 👊

How is a tome titled "Twilight" not a manual on ancient Darkspawn fighting techniques!?! The gall.

Andraste's knickers, Fifty Shades of Grey isn't even about the Wardens at all! 😤

I will not lie; we Grey Wardens pay a heavy price to be manipulative. Fate may decree that you make waves around the city now rather than later.

Someone's been drinking a little too much Wardendurance...

Veilguard smellguard. The Wardens were vigilant before it was cool 🛡️

By the Maker's withered knuckles, I'll have the thief dragged through the streets of Orlais, served up to the unholiest Darkspawn, and leave them stranded in the Deep Roads. I'll be their Calling if they don't return Wardendurance posthaste.🛡️ Who was it? WHO. WAS. IT. 👊

According to this book, someone's stolen the recipe for Wardendurance™️ Great! Just great!! 🙄

I've asked Evka and Antoine, respectively, to investigate Darkspawn activity in the Hossberg Wetlands and the Orlesian border. 🕵️‍♂️🕵️‍♀️ There's no romance like protecting Thedas against the Blight, separately. 🛡️

Enemies of the *hic* Wardens: 1 - Knight 2 - Darkspawn 3 - Venatori

Hehehe, Jowin GlASStrum, amirite?

And I'm the one being investigated when there are such crimes coming from the Inquisition? 🤔😒

Perhaps we've lost sight of what's important. Rook can KICK Rocks 24/7, 7/11, 9-5, 33, 6-7.

@firstgreywarden.bsky.social I have changed my mind. You will continue to distribute this protein powder.

Alright, First Warden. Hand me a bottle. If I live, I’ll have my proof. If I die…

So basically

It is for inane acts like this that our alliance was destroyed.

BLOOD OF THE GRIFFON IS AN ALCHEMICAL MIXTURE, TAUGHT TO WARDENS BY A WITCH OF THE WILDS CENTURIES AGO. 🧪 IT IS NOT LITERALLY THE BLOOD OF A GRIFFON. 😱 NO GRIFFONS WERE HARMED IN THE MAKING OF WARDENDURANCE PROTEIN. 🙅‍♂️

GLOW UP

Look, the Venatori and I may be enemies on the battlefield, but they are taste PERSONIFIED with a certain...a certain je ne sais quoi. 🤌 I'm sorry that you lack DRIP. 🧦

FINE. Yes. Wardendurance Protein is made with a touch of The Blight, a hint of Red Lyrium, and some lovely Blood of the Griffon. Any claim of negative impacts is completely fabricated, however. It is safe—everyone I know uses it. 😀 There's no price too high for adequate GAINS 💪

An average day in Minrathous. Keeping Thedas safe one Darkspawn, one Venatori at a time.

Running? The Wardens do not "run." The First Warden...I do not run. 👟 We are a Bulwark defending against Encroaching Darkness. 🛡️ We are an Army of Steel serving Kings and Peasants alike. 🗡️ We wage war and win. We maintain vigilance. We bleed and die for Thedas.🐲 We stand alone at the edge. ⚔️

For the benefit of the Wardens 🛡️ I seek a legendary shield known as the Wedge of Destiny 🧀 In exchange 🤝 I offer a lifetime supply of Wardendurance Protein 💪

Eating potato chips 🥔

⚔️🛡🗡

Hey. Not cool. You're just like @venatori4life.bsky.social

Who are you calling an old man!? 👴 I'm in my PRIME, thanks to Wardenendurance Protein. 💪 Those who fall behind, stay behind 😤 Use code GlasTRONG at checkout for our special B1G1 promo 💲

Hmph. Yes.

Trolling the First Warden is NOT Allowed 🚫🙅‍♂️👎 (But it is encouraged)

What is this? Lies and sedition against the Wardens!

LRP: It's like I don't even know you anymore.

Please deal with my EX-bestie @firstgreywarden.bsky.social please.

Who even needs friends when you're as swole as the Wardens DAD 💪