I will not lie; we Grey Wardens pay a heavy price to be manipulative. Fate may decree that you make waves around the city now rather than later.

Someone's been drinking a little too much Wardendurance...

Veilguard smellguard. The Wardens were vigilant before it was cool 🛡️

By the Maker's withered knuckles, I'll have the thief dragged through the streets of Orlais, served up to the unholiest Darkspawn, and leave them stranded in the Deep Roads. I'll be their Calling if they don't return Wardendurance posthaste.🛡️ Who was it? WHO. WAS. IT. 👊

According to this book, someone's stolen the recipe for Wardendurance™️ Great! Just great!! 🙄

I've asked Evka and Antoine, respectively, to investigate Darkspawn activity in the Hossberg Wetlands and the Orlesian border. 🕵️‍♂️🕵️‍♀️ There's no romance like protecting Thedas against the Blight, separately. 🛡️

Attention all interested in joining the Grey Wardens! Today is the last day to apply for Victory, Vigilance, Sacrifice! If you're interested in applying, the contributor application form is here -> docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1F... #dragonage #dazine #fanzine #greywarden

Enemies of the *hic* Wardens: 1 - Knight 2 - Darkspawn 3 - Venatori

Hehehe, Jowin GlASStrum, amirite?

And I'm the one being investigated when there are such crimes coming from the Inquisition? 🤔😒

Perhaps we've lost sight of what's important. Rook can KICK Rocks 24/7, 7/11, 9-5, 33, 6-7.

@firstgreywarden.bsky.social I have changed my mind. You will continue to distribute this protein powder.

Alright, First Warden. Hand me a bottle. If I live, I’ll have my proof. If I die…

So basically

It is for inane acts like this that our alliance was destroyed.

BLOOD OF THE GRIFFON IS AN ALCHEMICAL MIXTURE, TAUGHT TO WARDENS BY A WITCH OF THE WILDS CENTURIES AGO. 🧪 IT IS NOT LITERALLY THE BLOOD OF A GRIFFON. 😱 NO GRIFFONS WERE HARMED IN THE MAKING OF WARDENDURANCE PROTEIN. 🙅‍♂️

GLOW UP

Look, the Venatori and I may be enemies on the battlefield, but they are taste PERSONIFIED with a certain...a certain je ne sais quoi. 🤌 I'm sorry that you lack DRIP. 🧦

FINE. Yes. Wardendurance Protein is made with a touch of The Blight, a hint of Red Lyrium, and some lovely Blood of the Griffon. Any claim of negative impacts is completely fabricated, however. It is safe—everyone I know uses it. 😀 There's no price too high for adequate GAINS 💪

An average day in Minrathous. Keeping Thedas safe one Darkspawn, one Venatori at a time.

Running? The Wardens do not "run." The First Warden...I do not run. 👟 We are a Bulwark defending against Encroaching Darkness. 🛡️ We are an Army of Steel serving Kings and Peasants alike. 🗡️ We wage war and win. We maintain vigilance. We bleed and die for Thedas.🐲 We stand alone at the edge. ⚔️

For the benefit of the Wardens 🛡️ I seek a legendary shield known as the Wedge of Destiny 🧀 In exchange 🤝 I offer a lifetime supply of Wardendurance Protein 💪

Eating potato chips 🥔

⚔️🛡🗡

Hey. Not cool. You're just like @venatori4life.bsky.social

Who are you calling an old man!? 👴 I'm in my PRIME, thanks to Wardenendurance Protein. 💪 Those who fall behind, stay behind 😤 Use code GlasTRONG at checkout for our special B1G1 promo 💲

Hmph. Yes.

Trolling the First Warden is NOT Allowed 🚫🙅‍♂️👎 (But it is encouraged)

What is this? Lies and sedition against the Wardens!

LRP: It's like I don't even know you anymore.

Please deal with my EX-bestie @firstgreywarden.bsky.social please.

Who even needs friends when you're as swole as the Wardens DAD 💪

YOU CAN CONSIDER THIS A FORMAL DECLARATION OF WAR AGAINST THE VENATORI.

lrp if i was good at blender i would make a first warden version of this

I, too, remember the excuses my colleagues would make up in Warden College. 📚 Get help 🫂 Control the medicinal elfroot 🧝‍♂️ Don't let it control you 🫚 Why consume the Archdemon's lettuce 🥬 When instead you can consume Wardendurance Protein 💪 And, as the cool kids say, SLAYYYY 🗡️

Coupon Code VENATORI4 for 20% off your first purchase. This stuff is the real deal. Yes, I did throw-up a bit, but that's because I have a mild blight intolerance. But that's the price you pay for greatness.

As a Grey Warden, performance is non-negotiable. 📈 Wardenurance Protein delivers lyrium-clean macros for sustainable mass and frontline resilience. 🛡️ 50 grams of protein, 50 calories 😱 Outlast the Archdemon 🐲 Build Mass 💪 Defy Corruption 🙈🙊🙉 Get down with the Chisel 🎸

Actually that's exactly what it means. 🧠 Whatever it takes to defeat the Blight 🛡️

The body of a Grey Warden, such as myself, is the most beautiful in all of Thedas.

So convenient that everything you take "To fight the Blight" can be considered a tax write-off.

The Grey Wardens 🛡️ will not be answering questions ❓ about their books 📚 or fortresses. We will be fighting The Blight to End All Blights 💪

Perhaps this book is onto something...

Hey. About those NFMs...

CAPITALISM MAY BE STRONG BUT YOU ARE STRONGER.

Remember 🧠 Who you are post-burnout will never be who you were pre-burnout again 🔥 The corporate world takes and consumes 🧟 BUT 🍰 You're still capable of defeating Darkspawn 💪 JOIN THE GREY WARDENS TODAY 🛡️

There is only one correct answer.

A dalish-icous offering of pie!

I'll dragon-post for you Venatori.

I see we're all celebrating me today. Good work, recruits.