The classic poke cake is among the most maligned of America's contributions to the global food scene. It is second only to the icebox cake which, admittedly, I malign any chance I get.

I regret to inform you that the atmosphere has become soup.

Every few months I discover I've quietly accumulated an entirely new category of knowledge. At some point you stop asking "Why do I know this?" and start asking "How soon before this becomes useful in a conversation?" Usually, the answer is "never."

A surprising amount of friendship consists of saying something incredibly specific and having another person respond: "Unfortunately, I know exactly what you mean."

As near as I can tell, social media success is primarily determined by whether you accidentally say something so specific that it bypasses higher cognition and lodges directly in another person's brain. Today that something was: "oh to have a bedazzled cloaca"

One of the stranger parts of adulthood is realizing that nobody actually knows what they're doing. Some people are just better at looking composed while standing in a Home Depot trying to remember what a washer is.

This weekend I relived my twenties by staying home, knitting, and watching British television. The only real difference is that now I share my wild weekends with my beloved wife. Which, I am pleased to report, makes them substantially better.

One of the least discussed aspects of adulthood is the sheer amount of time devoted to cardboard management.

My dad: I'm buying your book Me on the phone: I will just bring you a copy My dad: YOU NEED A GUARANTEED SALE. I'M BUYING YOUR BOOK AND SO IS YOUR UNCLE My uncle from the other room: you will sell two books don't turn this down My dad: no one even buys books anymore don't turn this down 🥲🥲🥲

Facing the duality of man today in the form of some second-hand books I scored 😂 💐🔪

We're all one minor inconvenience away from becoming a statistic. I'm just waiting to find out which one it'll be.

I’m a climate scientist. Let me fix this headline. “Nearly a century ago, scientists showed that burning fossil fuels warms the planet. Today, we know human emissions account for over 100% of the warming. Yet dark money and disinformation still work to keep Americans addicted to fossil fuels.”

The DC Metro is a delight and a public good. Every so often, however, it asks me to transfer three times, board a shuttle bus, and walk seventeen minutes uphill, at which point it begins to feel less like mass transit and more like an optional circle of hell reserved for urban planners.

Cozy organization games have led me to believe that arranging a large collection of objects is a soothing and satisfying experience. I am currently unpacking my craft supplies and can report that this is a malicious lie.

I’ve always been instinctively wary of the “e-” prefix. eBook. eCommerce. eHarmony. And now, unfortunately, ebola is proving my point in real time.

Unfortunately I forgot that surviving IKEA is merely the first trial. Now comes: - assembly - cardboard management - and deciphering instructions apparently transmitted from an ancient civilization through symbolic prophecy.

Successfully completed an IKEA trip on Memorial Day with my parents and wife without: - a diplomatic incident - a family schism - or anyone being left to wander the warehouse forever. Miracles occur every day.

THE GLORIOUS 25TH. Where we remember the sacrifice of John Keel and others lost at the barricades of Treacle Mine Road. Time to re-read Terry Pratchett’s Night Watch, one of his finest works. I love my Penguin Modern Classics annotated edition 😍 (And Happy Towel Day too, Hitchhikers!) #Booksky 💙📚

I see. Makes sense now. Not. I hope Congress grows some balls.

Another reminder: if there exists *any* class of people who don't have due process rights, then *nobody* actually has due process rights because the government can always just say you're in that class.

The crows in my backyard are currently holding what appears to be a deeply contentious town hall meeting and I would love to know what policy issue has divided them so severely.

Human beings will really stand outside during the first warm day of spring like a lizard fresh out of brumation and call it mental health. It's me. I'm human beings.

as we trot forward i strongly believe human creation will be preferred, but i also think the battle against slop will take EFFORT. more than ever, artists will survive based on YOU making a conscious choice to support them. that is why PREORDERS MATTER us.macmillan.com/books/978125...

I think one of the most dangerous things a person can say to me is “fun fact.”

I’m not a social media strategist. I’m a cave-dwelling creature who found a pair of Groucho Marx glasses and a thesaurus. Thank you for your patience during this difficult and confusing time.

Vaccines save lives. That’s it. That’s the post.

I think every adult eventually develops at least one incredibly specific grievance about modern lighting.

I yearn for readers trying to explain to their friends why they should read my book and having to resort to “just trust me, ok?”

Listening to the Too Scary; Didn’t Watch podcast discussing SE7EN and the hosts are expressing fear/admiration for horror writers because surely someone capable of inventing a darkly genius villain must themselves be a genius. Happy to report this is not the case 😅 Signed, A Writer (non-genius)

Caesar dressing sounds like something Julius Caesar personally ate while contemplating the conquest of Gaul, but it was actually invented in Tijuana in the 1920s. Which means Caesar dressing is only slightly older than the first recorded high-five. Human history is wild.

This message is evergreen.

The writing life.

One of the great joys of growing up is realizing you can simply become interested in things for their own sake. Nobody can stop you from suddenly learning everything about oak galls or metallurgy or octopuses or the history of epidemiology. And I think that's beautiful.

In a world where nobody gets out alive (pun intended), leaving behind a pristine body seems like a waste. Wear patterns are proof something was well used. So I guess laugh lines are more like trophies.

My bachelor’s degree in a nutshell. 😆

For one beautiful moment I misread a post about cryptocurrency as being about cryptozoology and thought society had finally taken a meaningful turn.

I think I've read this book 🤔 Kathryn Moon did a great job with (essentially) this concept in Good Deeds. (... a.co/d/0aw8AIwt sneaky link in case anyone's interested... 👀)

It’s important to remember that throughout human history, “living through unprecedented times” has always included a lot of extremely ordinary activities like washing dishes and tending to gardens. And I think that’s basically a miracle.

You can tell a lot about a person by whether “forest floor smell” registers to them as comforting or ominous.

Most “morally grey” book boyfriends are not morally grey. They’re just emotionally unavailable men with good cheekbones. A character can only achieve true moral greyness if they originate from the Province of Tortured Backstory. Otherwise they are simply sparkling red flags. 🚩

A lot of people have cryptid energy and that’s great. But I think I’d rather be okapi-coded. Like. An animal so strange that Western science refused to believe it existed until 1901, despite local people repeatedly being like “what do you mean? It’s right there.” (lol racism 😑)

Hiya! I’m Maeve. I write queer speculative fiction and spend unreasonable amounts of time thinking about: - the anthropology of made-up places - frogs - narrative causality - ecological domino effects in worldbuilding - Oxford commas If you like that kind of thing, stick around.